An ethical question for you: me vs the CSA

lauradora · 16 October 2007 at 2:34PM

I have a question to pose to all of you. I like the rest of you am living on a shoestring to tackle my debts. :A

I have an ongoing battle with the CSA. I have posted this on the child support thread but prefer hanging around with you lot....and you make more sense!

The latest on my story (and my god has it been a long story) is that the last time i received a payment was June, and that wasn't for the amount that it should have been.:mad: :mad:

I have been promised payments month in and month out by those people in Belfast, so when I rung today for my weekly rant at them I was unsurprised, although completey gutted to learn that this was all a load of c**p and that I would have to keep waiting.:mad: :mad:

As i have mentioned I've had this on and off with these people since my daughter was born and now I feel like a full on war.:mad: :mad: :mad:

My ex sees her once a week, he ponces about in designer clothes, drives a nice car, flashes his bloody desiner glasses at me but then goes crying to the CSA saying how poor he is.:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

So....in short my question to you is would you think it unethical for me to stop him seeing my daughter until he coughs up some money??

All answers on a postcard please! i appreciate that this must seem low but I really am at the end of my tether. If he'd have paid his bloody way in the first place I wouldn't be in all of this debt.
:wall: :wall: :wall:
thanks for looking, Laura xx

Fortheloveofmoney · 16 October 2007 at 2:39PM

I sympathise with your situation and don't have kids myself BUT I firmly believe that kids should not be used as pawns between parents. I would see this as a form of blackmail and your daughter may not thank you for it when she grows up.

Maybe he is funding his designer lifestyle on credit....

lauradora · 16 October 2007 at 2:40PM

Fortheloveofmoney wrote: »

I sympathise with your situation and don't have kids myself BUT I firmly believe that kids should not be used as pawns between parents. I would see this as a form of blackmail and your daughter my not thank you for it when she grows up.

Maybe he is funding his designer lifestyle on credit....

i'm sure he is babe, git :mad: :mad: :mad:

wazza24 · 16 October 2007 at 2:45PM

Hi there, i know it is probably very frustrating, and you probably get angry even looking at him. But i think that the one who would get hurt the most if you stop access would be your daughter.

And so if the question is stop access or not? then i would say NOT, try explaining to your ex what the problems are (financial) and mybe he will understand. Sorry if this is not the answer you wanted but am just being realistic. Hope it works out for ya

wok_boy · 16 October 2007 at 2:46PM

Next time he comes round, sneak out and let his tyres down

lauradora · 16 October 2007 at 2:52PM

wok_boy wrote: »

Next time he comes round, sneak out and let his tyres down

Now thats what i'm talking about xxxx :beer:

lauradora · 16 October 2007 at 2:54PM

wazza24 wrote: »

Hi there, i know it is probably very frustrating, and you probably get angry even looking at him. But i think that the one who would get hurt the most if you stop access would be your daughter.

And so if the question is stop access or not? then i would say NOT, try explaining to your ex what the problems are (financial) and mybe he will understand. Sorry if this is not the answer you wanted but am just being realistic. Hope it works out for ya

would it be though?? she gets absolutley nothin from seeing him, he just bungs her in front of video games once a week! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Snaggles · 16 October 2007 at 2:56PM

I tend to agree. No matter how angry you are, my feeling is that you should let her keep seeing him, and hope that one day she will see for himself what a tosspot he is. I've been the person 'in the middle' so to speak, and it was horrible, I felt completely torn apart by two people that both supposedly loved me, because they were using me as a weapon to get at each other.

Of course, all other methods of revenge are fair game....;)

lauradora · 16 October 2007 at 2:57PM

Snaggles wrote: »

I tend to agree. No matter how angry you are, my feeling is that you should let her keep seeing him, and hope that one day she will see for himself what a tosspot he is. I've been the person 'in the middle' so to speak, and it was horrible, I felt completely torn apart by two people that both supposedly loved me, because they were using me as a weapon to get at each other.

Of course, all other methods of revenge are fair game....;)

hmmm keep talking xxx

misspoppy · 16 October 2007 at 2:58PM

have you asked him about the csa payments?

lauradora · 16 October 2007 at 3:01PM

misspoppy wrote: »

have you asked him about the csa payments?

As much as I hate to admit it no. I try to avoid contact with him at all times!! I should I know, i'm being an infant :whistle:

An ethical question for you: me vs the CSA

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