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'Do old dating traditions still apply?' poll disc...
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'Do old dating traditions still apply?' poll discussion
Poll between 26 May - 1 June 2009:
Do old dating traditions still apply?
If a woman and man go out for dinner on a first date, who should pay?
Which of the following is closest to your view?
A. The man (I'm female) - 11% (1047 votes) B. The man (I'm male) - 22% (1996 votes) C. The woman (I'm female) - 0% (10 votes) D. The woman (I'm male) - 0% (46 votes) E. The woman should offer but the man still pay (I'm female) - 14% (1306 votes) F. The woman should offer but the man still pay (I'm male) - 8% (755 votes) G. The man should offer but the woman still pay (I'm female) - 0% (37 votes) H. The man should offer but the woman still pay (I'm male) - 1% (68 votes) I. Half each (I'm female) - 14% (1261 votes) J. Half each (I'm male) - 6% (598 votes) K. Each pays for what they had (I'm female) - 2% (219 votes) L. Each pays for what they had (I'm male) - 1% (124 votes) M. The higher earner (I'm female) - 0% (20 votes) N. The higher earner (I'm male) - 0% (25 votes) O. Whoever asked who out (I'm female) - 12% (1086 votes) P. Whoever asked who out (I'm male) - 7% (634 votes)
Total Votes: 9232
Voting has now closed, but you can still click 'post reply' to discuss below. Thanks
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I'm a chap and when I date the girlfriend I pick up the bill, when out with the wife she picks up the bill but it's all my money in her purse anyway. Or rather "our money". I do not begrudge the wife any amount of my hard earned. She puts up with me.
I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.-David Niven
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the majority of exes i have had have insisted on going halves especially the last one it was a very big deal to her. the one that allowed me to without thinking there was anything wrong with it was from a very old fashioned family.
i would always offer but not be surprised if i was told if i dont let them go halves i will get a clout round the back of the head.
it might be an age thing, i am nearly 28 and the majority of women i sniff around are early-mid 20s
adopted brother of hayley11 and bringmeshoes
Quote:
Originally Posted by caseystar
bh caused all this in the first place
Its stress relief made easy its simple and it works just say dilligaf when your dealing with , and
I'd go for P. If someone wants to have dinner with the other person then it should really be their responsibilty to pay. The only other really acceptable option is to split it, everything else belongs in the past or just isn't reasonable.
After the first date it should be split equally unless your going out for a birthday. If a woman worked and expected me to pay each time I wouldn't bother after the first couple of dates.
I am surprisingly old-fashioned in some ways, eg I won't let a man buy me a drink unless he is either a close friend, relative or my boyfriend. So with that in mind, I won't let a man pay for my meal either unless one of the above applies to him.
Whilst people may well say, "Why go on a date with someone like that in the first place?" I would also never let a man pay in the early days so there can be no hint of owing anything or him expecting anything to happen.
I know it may come across as tight to want to only pay for what I have personally consumed, money is tight, and at least I'd show I'm responsible and not a gold digger or spendthrift.
Meh. Lots of women on this poll voting I. Half each (I'm female)
Same as the usual nonsense about personality/sense of humour being more important than looks/money. They like to kid themselves but when it comes down to it, if you actually tried suggesting splitting the bill on a first date, you probably will never hear from the girl again.
"If the developers don't burst into tears when you make your offer, it's too high." - m00m00
I had no probs with Freda, 'twas a bag of chipps and mushy peas, 50p each!
Look I really wanted to help, but you were scared of realising my advice was averse to yours, you did not like what I said, so you asked many more. They still gave your short thrift and in the end, you only wanted someone to agree with you. In that way, I could not agree more. Tesco spend this quarter £20.20p. No chance of coupon again in February
I'm not in my "dating days" any more.....but - when I was:
Well....I wonder if that makes me "old-fashioned" - as I take it as read that if a man asks me out for a meal - then thats EXACTLY what hes done - ie he is the host and I am the invited guest - he pays.
Being fairminded - I take it that its my part to show him a bit of homecooking (instead of the usual microwave meals the average man seems to live on) and invite him back at some point for a homecooked meal - at which I am the hostess and he is the invited guest - so obviously he doesnt pay towards it (I accept any bottle of wine he proffers as a share of it - and we drink that with the meal - but I dont expect that even and have bought in the wine myself).
I've never forgotten the previous boyfriend that took me out for meals sometimes - but, in return, I cooked him meals sometimes. He never contributed (or was expected to contribute) anything towards the meals I cooked - never brought the possible bottle of wine. So I'd done my "share" - ie covered the cost and effort of doing nice homecooked meals - but latterly when I offered onetime to buy us both the puddings after the main course and waited for him to take the hint and offer pudding - he accepted! and I ended up paying for my pudding - and his too! - and he started to try to make that a habit. His meanness was part of the reason we finished not long after that.... I took it that he was trying to "set me up" to do his dirty work for him and finish the relationship - I duly obliged and did so.
If I'm out with a "mate" who happens to be male for a drink then we alternate buying drinks. If out with a man who is boyfriend or potential boyfriend - then he buys the first drink and I'll offer to buy alternate drinks (though gracefully accepting if he insists on buying them all - combination of being a woman and I'm on traditional "womans" level of pay - ie pathetic - yes, I know, I know - theres men doing the same job as me and getting that same pathetic paylevel....).
I think maybe my attitude comes from the fact that many woman in my (middle-aged) generation were brought up only being expected to earn "womans level of wages" - so we cant afford to split the costs totally equally with the men we date (who, almost invariably, are on traditional "male" level of income). If I was a generation younger - then I would be on a "persons" level of income and might well look at things differently - and blow the homecooked meals to "pay my way" that way (the food/the food and the effort in cooking something nice....dont get the wrong impression!).
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.
- Thoreau
Last edited by ceridwen; 27-05-2009 at 7:45 AM..
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If you ask someone out, it's all in the way it's phrased....
Can I take you out to ......? (you are offering to pay)
Shall we go out together, where would you like to go? (could go either way, as it gives them a chance to go for somewhere cheaper if they want to go halves)
Do you want to buy me lunch? (expect a black eye, or a cheese sandwich.)
Always on the look out for a bargain. Thanks if you've helped me bag one.
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I believe that whoever does the asking does the paying. However, the other party can always share the cost by offering to pay for drinks, cinema tickets or other expenditures.
I've been dating someone for a while and we take turns paying for evenings out (I make about twice what he does, but my mortgage, personal expenses, etc are higher) so it more or less evens out.
Last edited by Lucie C; 27-05-2009 at 9:59 AM..
Reason: typo correction
I assume that E to H means that one kindly offers to pay and the other politely declines and they pay half each, thats more the norm from my experience
I always go for I or K, either we split it or pay for what we have eaten. I rarely let a man pay for me, unless its a special occasion and not just a first date, e.g. a birthday or something, however I return the favour for them as well.
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Pls be nice to all MoneySavers. There's no such thing as a stupid question, and even if you disagree courtesy helps. Take care over copyright. Use excerpts and links rather than copying long text. This site asserts copyright on all comments posted on the board.
Pls be nice to all MoneySavers. There's no such thing as a stupid question, and even if you disagree courtesy helps.
'Do old dating traditions still apply?' poll discussion
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Thanks if you've helped me bag one.
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