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    • Netballgirl
    • By Netballgirl 11th Jan 19, 8:04 PM
    • 2Posts
    • 1Thanks
    Netballgirl
    Brought a house then broken up a month later. Help?
    • #1
    • 11th Jan 19, 8:04 PM
    Brought a house then broken up a month later. Help? 11th Jan 19 at 8:04 PM
    Me and my partner were together 8 years and he proposed in May 2018, we then booked our wedding for June 2019. In the summer we looked at buying a house together. We then completed on this 225k house start of December 2018. He then changed and started acting mean to me. By start of January 2019 he broke up with me. He left and I'm left in the house. We've agreed he'll pay half the bills and mortgage until sorted.

    Now we have a 200k joint mortgage, which neither of us want or can afford by ourselves, a house that was only for us both to live together in and doesn't benefit us individually. Issues include he selected a 5 year fixed mortgage which has a 8.5k early repayment fee if we sell. He selected a higher monthly repayment to make the mortgage period shorter and together we could afford individually it's hard. We'll have to pay 3k worth of solicitor and estate agent fees if we sell as well. And we've got to hope that someone pays the same as we did. All in all I'm not convinced I'd get much change from my 11k deposit.

    I feel very hard done by as he didn't tell me before buying the house he was having doubts and wanted to break up and said he thought things would improve. I feel like this situation has been caused by him and I don't feel I should also lose my deposit because of his poor decision and not being up front with me. He's saying it's 50 50 and legally I've got no leg to stand on.

    Please can anyone help me or give any advice?
Page 2
    • martindow
    • By martindow 12th Jan 19, 11:02 AM
    • 7,933 Posts
    • 4,576 Thanks
    martindow
    Me and my partner were together 8 years and he proposed in May 2018, we then booked our wedding for June 2019. In the summer we looked at buying a house together. We then completed on this 225k house start of December 2018. He then changed and started acting mean to me. By start of January 2019 he broke up with me. He left and I'm left in the house. We've agreed he'll pay half the bills and mortgage until sorted.

    Now we have a 200k joint mortgage, which neither of us want or can afford by ourselves, a house that was only for us both to live together in and doesn't benefit us individually. Issues include he selected a 5 year fixed mortgage which has a 8.5k early repayment fee if we sell. He selected a higher monthly repayment to make the mortgage period shorter and together we could afford individually it's hard. We'll have to pay 3k worth of solicitor and estate agent fees if we sell as well. And we've got to hope that someone pays the same as we did. All in all I'm not convinced I'd get much change from my 11k deposit.

    I feel very hard done by as he didn't tell me before buying the house he was having doubts and wanted to break up and said he thought things would improve. I feel like this situation has been caused by him and I don't feel I should also lose my deposit because of his poor decision and not being up front with me. He's saying it's 50 50 and legally I've got no leg to stand on.

    Please can anyone help me or give any advice?
    Originally posted by Netballgirl
    Is the 11k deposit entirely yours? Did your ex-partner contribute some of the deposit?
    • csgohan4
    • By csgohan4 12th Jan 19, 11:32 AM
    • 5,401 Posts
    • 3,482 Thanks
    csgohan4
    as a buyer I would be wondering why the house is being sold so quickly and what is wrong with property
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"
    • robatwork
    • By robatwork 12th Jan 19, 12:15 PM
    • 4,784 Posts
    • 5,393 Thanks
    robatwork
    as a buyer I would be wondering why the house is being sold so quickly and what is wrong with property
    Originally posted by csgohan4
    It's pretty common as a buyer to be told there are personal or relationship problems hence the reason for sale. Pretty plausible given the divorce rate and the number of non-marrieds setting up house together.
    • csgohan4
    • By csgohan4 12th Jan 19, 12:18 PM
    • 5,401 Posts
    • 3,482 Thanks
    csgohan4
    It's pretty common as a buyer to be told there are personal or relationship problems hence the reason for sale. Pretty plausible given the divorce rate and the number of non-marrieds setting up house together.
    Originally posted by robatwork
    problem is will the buyer believe the vendor, could also be nuisance neighbors e.t.c always a risk when selling within 6 months of buying
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"
    • kev25v6
    • By kev25v6 12th Jan 19, 12:28 PM
    • 197 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    kev25v6
    Tell him you want your deposit back first or you will drag the sale out for years and ruin his credit history with not paying the mortgage. You don’t have to do it but it might be enough to get him to agree with you getting back what you each paid into the house. Take off some to cover the fact that he is not in the house but still paying for it to even it out to be fair though.
    • csgohan4
    • By csgohan4 12th Jan 19, 12:31 PM
    • 5,401 Posts
    • 3,482 Thanks
    csgohan4
    Tell him you want your deposit back first or you will drag the sale out for years and ruin his credit history with not paying the mortgage. You don’t have to do it but it might be enough to get him to agree with you getting back what you each paid into the house. Take off some to cover the fact that he is not in the house but still paying for it to even it out to be fair though.
    Originally posted by kev25v6
    It will also ruin the OP's credit history as well, having a repo on file is not something to take lightly. Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face.

    you can certainly threaten the Ex, but it can also be counter productive and they can respond in kind, solicitor, not pay the mortgage e.t.c
    Last edited by csgohan4; 12-01-2019 at 12:41 PM.
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"
    • LittleMax
    • By LittleMax 12th Jan 19, 12:35 PM
    • 1,287 Posts
    • 1,941 Thanks
    LittleMax
    problem is will the buyer believe the vendor, could also be nuisance neighbors e.t.c always a risk when selling within 6 months of buying
    Originally posted by csgohan4
    Alarm bells would be ringing and may cut down on viewings but those that go to see will be able to work out that what they are being told about relationship breakdown is true.

    The first house we bought was being advertised after 6 months. Turned out to be an elderly couple who had bought the house to be near their daughter who was havng a baby but had then found that one of them was strugglng with stairs and they wanted to move to a bungalow. They did in the end move into a bunglow on the same estate - cost them dearly as it was a rising market, but everything seemed to stack up. Anyhow I digress - but wanted to show that people do have genuine reasons for selling so soon and people do buy from them. So don't let that add to your worries OP.
    • SummerSunshine2
    • By SummerSunshine2 12th Jan 19, 1:28 PM
    • 92 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    SummerSunshine2
    Wow so many awful post on this thread.

    What about renting it for a year OP?
    • csgohan4
    • By csgohan4 12th Jan 19, 1:31 PM
    • 5,401 Posts
    • 3,482 Thanks
    csgohan4
    Wow so many awful post on this thread.

    What about renting it for a year OP?
    Originally posted by SummerSunshine2
    Difference between awful and reality


    Getting a CTL within a month of buying a house is not something that will easily be granted. OP can certainly try and get lodgers, but even if CTL was granted, does the OP want the problems with being a LL?
    "It is prudent when shopping for something important, not to limit yourself to Pound land/Estate Agents"
    • John G Jones
    • By John G Jones 12th Jan 19, 4:07 PM
    • 96 Posts
    • 157 Thanks
    John G Jones
    FFS Grow up!
    Relationships come and go every day.
    We all have problems to overcome.
    Originally posted by CGG
    Indeed, and yours seems to be an anger issue.

    Why write such an aggressive and unhelpful post?
    • AnotherJoe
    • By AnotherJoe 12th Jan 19, 4:22 PM
    • 12,056 Posts
    • 14,118 Thanks
    AnotherJoe
    Wow so many awful post on this thread.

    What about renting it for a year OP?
    Originally posted by SummerSunshine2
    Please don't do that OP it will just cause even issues of complexity and tax not to mention cost and risk and keeping you connected to your ex. Cut your Losses. Sell up.
    Please dont criticise my spelling. It's excellent. Its my typing that's bad.
    • Slithery
    • By Slithery 13th Jan 19, 12:33 AM
    • 1,131 Posts
    • 1,819 Thanks
    Slithery
    its not fair.
    Originally posted by Aliciamilford
    That wasn't the question.
    • martindow
    • By martindow 13th Jan 19, 11:09 AM
    • 7,933 Posts
    • 4,576 Thanks
    martindow
    its not fair.
    Originally posted by Aliciamilford
    Maybe not, but the OP has received sound advice on how she should proceed. Acting emotionally, no matter how understandable in the circumstances, is not conducive to making good decisions.
    • Crashy Time
    • By Crashy Time 13th Jan 19, 10:07 PM
    • 7,173 Posts
    • 2,608 Thanks
    Crashy Time
    Lot of negativity in this thread, maybe they will get back together, after all they were together 8 years? OP could increase their income and just keep the house? Lodger? Rent out? AirBnB?
    • robatwork
    • By robatwork 14th Jan 19, 9:20 AM
    • 4,784 Posts
    • 5,393 Thanks
    robatwork
    Lot of negativity in this thread,
    Originally posted by Crashy Time
    In 1000 years time, when anthropologists are studying 21st Century forum behaviour, they will cite this post above as the best example of irony they've ever seen.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 14th Jan 19, 9:23 AM
    • 6,442 Posts
    • 6,822 Thanks
    Comms69
    Me and my partner were together 8 years and he proposed in May 2018, we then booked our wedding for June 2019. In the summer we looked at buying a house together. We then completed on this 225k house start of December 2018. He then changed and started acting mean to me. By start of January 2019 he broke up with me. He left and I'm left in the house. We've agreed he'll pay half the bills and mortgage until sorted.

    Now we have a 200k joint mortgage, which neither of us want or can afford by ourselves, a house that was only for us both to live together in and doesn't benefit us individually. Issues include he selected a 5 year fixed mortgage which has a 8.5k early repayment fee if we sell. He selected a higher monthly repayment to make the mortgage period shorter and together we could afford individually it's hard. We'll have to pay 3k worth of solicitor and estate agent fees if we sell as well. And we've got to hope that someone pays the same as we did. All in all I'm not convinced I'd get much change from my 11k deposit.

    I feel very hard done by as he didn't tell me before buying the house he was having doubts and wanted to break up and said he thought things would improve. I feel like this situation has been caused by him and I don't feel I should also lose my deposit because of his poor decision and not being up front with me. He's saying it's 50 50 and legally I've got no leg to stand on.

    Please can anyone help me or give any advice?
    Originally posted by Netballgirl


    I agree with his assessment, legally it's 50 / 50. I agree I doubt you'll get much change from the deposit; but neither will he. I doubt he deliberately wasted his own money just to waste yours.
    • lindens
    • By lindens 14th Jan 19, 9:31 AM
    • 2,290 Posts
    • 7,137 Thanks
    lindens
    I had no reason to not trust him in my eyes everything was great. Why would you buy a house with someone if you wasn't convinced you wanted to be with them. Literally the weeks after competing. If he'd done it the weeks before we wouldn't be looking at losing thousands of pounds. How is that fair?
    Originally posted by Netballgirl
    because you weren't married you need a deed of trust to legally protect yourselves. nobody knows what is round the corner really.
    You're not your * could have not of * Debt not dept *
    • lindens
    • By lindens 14th Jan 19, 9:35 AM
    • 2,290 Posts
    • 7,137 Thanks
    lindens
    A lodger sounds like the best way forward for the time being until the dust settles and you decide what is for the best. At least that will help with the financial side of things for a while
    You're not your * could have not of * Debt not dept *
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