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  • FIRST POST
    • thegirlsmum
    • By thegirlsmum 5th Aug 18, 7:15 PM
    • 121Posts
    • 122Thanks
    thegirlsmum
    grandparents saving for g'children? advice please?
    • #1
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:15 PM
    grandparents saving for g'children? advice please? 5th Aug 18 at 7:15 PM
    we are having some issues with "pocket money" so my husband thought we could just put it into some form of account rather than a large jar in the bedroom. something is making me think that it's not as easy as it used to be due to money laundering risks. how can i set up any sort of account without having to provide birth certificates etc. Can i even buy premium bonds i their names?
Page 1
    • thegirlsmum
    • By thegirlsmum 5th Aug 18, 7:26 PM
    • 121 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    thegirlsmum
    • #2
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:26 PM
    • #2
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:26 PM
    scrub the q about premium bonds,seems they have to be held by the parents
    • ValiantSon
    • By ValiantSon 5th Aug 18, 7:29 PM
    • 2,537 Posts
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    ValiantSon
    • #3
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:29 PM
    • #3
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:29 PM
    What is it exactly that you wish to achieve?

    One very easy solution is to open savings accounts in your name and then deposit as you see fit. When you want to give you grandchildren the money you can do so without any complication. To ensure it gets to them in the event of your death, simply update your wills to allocate that money.

    You can't open accounts in their names, only their parents can do that, and it seems that you aren't comfortable with that option (as per the comment about premium bonds).
    • Keep pedalling
    • By Keep pedalling 5th Aug 18, 7:34 PM
    • 5,532 Posts
    • 6,283 Thanks
    Keep pedalling
    • #4
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:34 PM
    • #4
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:34 PM
    A junior ISA would seem a good idea as it locks the money away until they reach 18.it has to be set up by a parent, but anyone can put money into it once set up..
    • thegirlsmum
    • By thegirlsmum 5th Aug 18, 7:35 PM
    • 121 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    thegirlsmum
    • #5
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:35 PM
    • #5
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:35 PM
    we would prefer to give them 5-10 per weekto buy themselves a treat but we have been told we can't do that. i suppose we could do 1 account but stipulate in the will that it is to be divided in 3. it's not going to be thousands but i still like to give them a wee treat. might revert to the large jar idea then we can give a lump sum at holiday time
    • ValiantSon
    • By ValiantSon 5th Aug 18, 7:41 PM
    • 2,537 Posts
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    ValiantSon
    • #6
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:41 PM
    • #6
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:41 PM
    we would prefer to give them 5-10 per weekto buy themselves a treat but we have been told we can't do that. i suppose we could do 1 account but stipulate in the will that it is to be divided in 3. it's not going to be thousands but i still like to give them a wee treat. might revert to the large jar idea then we can give a lump sum at holiday time
    Originally posted by thegirlsmum
    From what you say it sounds like their parents don't want them to have such regular sums of money for treats on a weekly basis. Perhaps you need to have an open conversation with their parents about what they consider to be right for their children. It may well be that a smaller regular sum is acceptable, or that a bit of holiday spending money is okay. It may also be that their parents would like them to learn more about the value of money, and that regular spending on treats doesn't help to reinforce this, but that some arrangement where they get pocket money from you regularly, but they have to save it to buy things, is more in line with their thinking.

    I think the biggest issue here is not necessarily the vehicle (i.e. a savings account or a coin jar), but rather what their parents' aims are with regard to how their children are brought up.
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 5th Aug 18, 7:49 PM
    • 5,312 Posts
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    sheramber
    • #7
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:49 PM
    • #7
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:49 PM
    we would prefer to give them 5-10 per weekto buy themselves a treat but we have been told we can't do that. i suppose we could do 1 account but stipulate in the will that it is to be divided in 3. it's not going to be thousands but i still like to give them a wee treat. might revert to the large jar idea then we can give a lump sum at holiday time
    Originally posted by thegirlsmum
    Who told you you can't give them a sum of money each week?

    Why not get each of them a piggy bank to put the money in?
    • thegirlsmum
    • By thegirlsmum 5th Aug 18, 7:57 PM
    • 121 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    thegirlsmum
    • #8
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:57 PM
    • #8
    • 5th Aug 18, 7:57 PM
    this is very much a (completely different) problem between my daughter and her in laws so the husband is saying well if my parents are being hard done by thenso must yours. but trust me, they are not being punished because this is a recommendation by her psychiatrist who say they are the source of her mental health problems. but this is a side issue, although a major problem in it's own right, but i dont like giving 1 child and not the other 2. def sounds like a money box job.
    • AnotherJoe
    • By AnotherJoe 5th Aug 18, 8:31 PM
    • 10,921 Posts
    • 12,584 Thanks
    AnotherJoe
    • #9
    • 5th Aug 18, 8:31 PM
    • #9
    • 5th Aug 18, 8:31 PM
    No doubt that made sense to you when you wrote it but it doesn't make sense to me when I read it.

    In any case it doesn't seem to be an issue about saving money at all but a complex set of family dynamics.
    • xylophone
    • By xylophone 5th Aug 18, 8:44 PM
    • 26,791 Posts
    • 15,968 Thanks
    xylophone
    https://www.halifax.co.uk/savings/accounts/kids/

    A grandparent can open a savings account for their grandchild, in the child's name, as long as they can provide documentation such as the child's birth certificate.

    https://www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate
    • thegirlsmum
    • By thegirlsmum 6th Aug 18, 7:09 PM
    • 121 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    thegirlsmum
    sorry lol.the reason i want/need to do this without the parents involvement is because yes it is due to family dyanmics. my daughter's in laws behaviour,and her husband's inability to sort it,has caused my daughter to have a break down. her psychiatrist recommended a complete break from them including pocket money obviously.i want to continue to treat all 3 children the same but my SIL is wanting to get his own back, i think anyway.

    as i said,i think it will be a money jar for ease of access and keeping it all quite quiet.thanks
    • Terry Towelling
    • By Terry Towelling 6th Aug 18, 8:30 PM
    • 640 Posts
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    Terry Towelling
    I'm confused (doesn't take much these days).

    Am I right to believe that two of the children are from a former relationship of your SIL and the third child was borne by your daughter in this relationship (or even a previous relationship of hers)? If this is right, I'm guessing that the parents of the SIL are perceiving there to be a difference in treatment between the children from their son's previous relationship and the child of your daughter and this is causing stress and problems?

    I'm not snooping, I'm just trying to get to grips with the context. If I've got it wrong please say so or tell me to butt out.

    Regardless of the underlying context, it sounds like a real issue for all of you and your desire to save for all three children is to be respected and admired.

    So, it would probably be best to let things lie for a while and put money away into a savings account in your name until things have been resolved. You can then resume niceties and will have a ready made kitty to draw from.

    If you are truly concerned about dying before things get resolved then maybe something in your Will to ensure the money goes the right way might be a good idea but, if it isn't a lot (as you have intimated) then the possible costs of altering your Will might make it a pointless exercise.

    At least with a savings account you will get some interest added - the large jar won't do that for you.
    • thegirlsmum
    • By thegirlsmum 8th Aug 18, 12:17 PM
    • 121 Posts
    • 122 Thanks
    thegirlsmum
    i'm sorry, i haven't gone into enough detail.2 daughters both married once but the daughter that has 2 children with her husband has very overbearing in laws. her husband will not/cannot stand up to them but is quite happy to lay the law down for my daughter and myself and husband. my problem has always been that he doesn't have the b...ls to stand up to his parents who want to lay the law down over everything but expects my daughter and us to do whathewants and even what his parents want.
    so i feel i have been jumping through hoops for them. my own little piece of rebellion is to still save up for the boys but just not tell him for a year or two lol.
    • Terry Towelling
    • By Terry Towelling 8th Aug 18, 12:33 PM
    • 640 Posts
    • 537 Thanks
    Terry Towelling
    Aha, all becomes a bit clearer.

    Can't really say how to resolve the underlying relationship issues but I understand the desire to treat the grandchildren equally.

    So, all I would suggest is keep treating the child from the untroubled relationship as you are and open a savings account for the other children (in your name) and wait until things get resolved (hopefully) before doing anything with that money. It isn't really rebellion (as you call it) and there's no reason why anyone else needs to know how you choose to save your money and to whom you ultimately choose to give it.

    Your frustrations are understandable but you probably have no control over the SIL or his parents and attempting to come between them, or to influence his relationship with them, is probably going to create even bigger problems. Do you have any kind of relationship with the SIL's parents because what you are describing is clearly driving a wedge between you all and causing terrible stress?
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 8th Aug 18, 12:38 PM
    • 29,963 Posts
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    Mojisola
    So, all I would suggest is keep treating the child from the untroubled relationship as you are and open a savings account for the other children (in your name) and wait until things get resolved (hopefully) before doing anything with that money.
    Originally posted by Terry Towelling
    Will those children understand that they have been given the same amount of money spread over years when you hand over a lump sum to their cousins?
    • xylophone
    • By xylophone 8th Aug 18, 1:22 PM
    • 26,791 Posts
    • 15,968 Thanks
    xylophone
    Does the child in the untroubled relationship already have a "pocket money" account"?

    If so, you could ask the parents for the bank details and simply transfer your chosen gift weekly/monthly by faster payment or you could use a standing order?

    It is easy enough to obtain a birth certificate so you could open child accounts in bare trust for the other two and hand over at age 18?

    https://www.skipton.co.uk/savings/childrens/childrens-saver

    https://www.bathbuildingsociety.co.uk/savings/personal-savings-and-investments/supersaver
    • Terry Towelling
    • By Terry Towelling 8th Aug 18, 4:23 PM
    • 640 Posts
    • 537 Thanks
    Terry Towelling
    Will those children understand that they have been given the same amount of money spread over years when you hand over a lump sum to their cousins?
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    They will if someone explains it to them. Potentially, the grandparents could ask the child in the 'untroubled' relationship if they would prefer to have money saved for them in this manner or carry on having it here and there - as suggested by @xylophone.

    The fallout from this will be easier to handle than if child A gets money and children B & C don't get any at all.
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