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Planning my great escape

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  • I just wanted to say hello and you seem to have plans in place which is good. I kicked my ex out in the summer and although it is lonely sometimes, I am getting my life back on track by myself and paying off my debts or I will be from January.

    Regarding tax credits, I went for about 7-8 weeks without any tax credits when I swapped from a joint to single claim and that was hard. I had to borrow money from family just to pay rent and bills. So if you can, try and get a bit of a buffer ready just in case it takes a long time to get your tax credits sorted.
  • Thanks mumoffourkids. Problem is I think it will take ages to sort tax credits because whilst I will be going from a joint claim to a single one he will still be living here - he just won't leave. It's really hard. I'll pop over and check out your diary in a minute I'm sure you're doing a great job.

    Coffecakeandyarn - thank you so much xx
  • Mine when I phoned up to change, they said it would be 2-3 weeks without money and I couldn't give a forwarding address for my ex as he was just staying in hotels, with family or friends. Then they did a check on my tax credits and I had to send what felt like my entire life off to them, so copies of all bills, rent agreement, phone bills, council tax, TV licence, bank statements, nursery invoices. I was kind of lucky that everything was in my name anyway but it still took a while to process. I did speak to someone and explained and they were really helpful. Have you tried phoning tax credits and see what they say about him not moving out?
  • Mumoffourkids I phoned them today for advice and they said 3 weeks but like you had that's what I'm worrying about going weeks without being able to feed the kids or paying my rent etc... I was completely honest about everything though.

    Think will phone them near to pay day and try to save a buffer in between if I can. Xx
  • I do empathise, my situation was very similar. My ex stopped contributing to the household income 3 or 4 years ago. This combined with other reasons led to me seeking a separation towards the end of last year. It is difficult when living separately but under the same roof, which is what happened with me for 6 months prior to his moving out. I read a list somewhere online of things you could do to prove that you were living separately. These included not eating at the same times, not doing each other's laundry, not sharing a bed. I will try and find the other things. My ex eventually moved out but even now will not tell me where he lives. My council accepted this. I put all the utility bills from joint into my name, to try and show that we were separate. I also made sure that schools knew and the information was recorded on their information system, in other words doing all I could to prove that we were separated.

    With regard to tax credits, I would take advice from them sooner rather than later. I left it too late as I was worried that I had no legal paperwork to show the separation was permanent. I should have told them when he moved out but was too cautious as I felt I couldn't prove permanence. This has meant that not only were my tax credits stopped for 6 weeks or so, I'm having to pay back the tax credits I received ( as a joint claim) between his moving out and the renewal. The irony being that I was entitled to the money as a single claimant or as a joint claimant. As a single claim, I receive a little more. I have learnt the hard way to tell them everything and tell them early.
    paydbx2025 #26 £890/£5000 . Mortgage start £148k June 23 - now £138k.
    2025 savings challenge £0/£2000
    EF £140. Savings 2 £30.00. 17
  • Hi, I’m just popping in to say good luck! I’m sure you’ll do an amazing job and be able to look back on your situation this time next year and see how far you’ve come! I’ll be cheering you on!
    ETA x
  • Afternoon:)

    Today I have managed to waste the morning achieving pretty much nothing. Lots of sitting around thinking about what I should be doing. So I've decided to make a list!

    This afternoon I must :
    1) drop DDs over to my mums (100 mile round trip but unavoidable as need to go to work over weekend)
    2) buy DD new shoes for going back to school
    3) tidy downstairs of house
    4) list 3 things on eBay.
    5) make dinner for littlest DD

    Doesn't seem like much written down. Xx
  • louby40
    louby40 Posts: 1,595 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Hi, I too have been a single parent but I had a well paid job and parental support. Plus to be fair my ex husband was also financially supportive of our 2 kids.

    Practically though you do need to make sure you get what you’re entitled to and that it’s paid into your own account. Make sure you have an account only in your name that he has no access to.

    Ebay is a great way to make extra money, Facebook selling sites and Gumtree are also good as there are no postage/PayPal charges which can soon mount up.

    Other good survey sites are
    YouGov - you get a £50payout when you reach 5000 points - it can take 6 months or more to get there.
    Opinium - they pay out at £25 and are pretty quick to mount up
    OnePoll - also £25 payout
    Pinecone pay out £3 a survey but it’s hard to get into.

    Other people use different survey sites too so ma sure they will add their recommendations. Surveys are dull but I reckon I’ve made £300 over the past year just by doing a few each night whilst watching TV.

    Prolific Academic are good too, but I see you’re doing that one.

    Good luck. And keep posting - everyone here is great and will support you lots.
  • louby40
    louby40 Posts: 1,595 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    https://yougov.co.uk/refer/TXHQ7-cSanqj4dP-iv6xhQ/

    This is the referral code for YouGov
  • Poppypen
    Poppypen Posts: 39 Forumite
    Hello

    Whops I didn't realise it had been so long since I posted. Not much done towards paying off debt so far but I've not added to it which I'm pleased about. My big news for today is ive managed to get a second job which I will be starting on Tuesday :j

    Need to get more organised or the year will slip away before I know it. Jobs for tomorrow are :
    1) tidy and clean kitchen
    2) iron some clothes to photo and list on eBay
    3) general tidy as much as possible before work

    Xx
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