heart broken

mrseyes · 19 December 2017 at 11:54PM

i am heart broken about my son's girlfriend who is 6 months pregnant and had hemorrhagic stroke. She had big brain surgery 2 weeks ago and have woken up form coma. She is unable to talk, and unable to move her right leg and right arm. I am really worried how my son will cope specially he has 2 yrs to look after and new baby too. Also i don't know how he going to afford to pay the mortgage and all the bills too on his own.

hazyjo · 20 December 2017 at 12:32AM

There is help out there - make sure he exhausts every avenue to see what they are entitled to. My friend's husband had a massive stroke a few years ago in his 40s and still needs round the clock care. She still works and they have a carer, and are entitled to taxis and lots of support.

Sorry to hear about what happened - must be awful for everyone. I hope she makes a full recovery.

Hopefully they have some sort of insurance in place that might help. Her pension may also provide some support if out of work or unable to work.

People have a funny way of muddling through - and if they don't or can't cope, they must speak out. It will be a tough journey. Hopefully they will get lots of support.

chesky · 20 December 2017 at 7:36AM

What a worrying time you must be having. Do make sure your son asks the hospital to put him in touch with a social worker. You could talk to your local CAB about what benefits could be claimed in these circumstances.

Make sure the 2 year old has a jolly Christmas - children often get overlooked when something like this happens.

System · 20 December 2017 at 10:22AM

Take one day at a time. Dont look too far forward, just concentrate on the present for now.

pollypenny · 20 December 2017 at 10:33AM

Oh, dear. How awful. You just have to support them as much as you can. Bless them.

Fireflyaway · 20 December 2017 at 8:04PM

Sounds like a difficult situation to be in. See if there is a floating support charity in your area. They can advise on benefits, accessing care, housing advice etc. There may also be a support group for her condition and hopefully this is the worst she will be. Many stroke victims are able to improve their speech and mobility over time, especially if young.

Katgrit · 24 December 2017 at 11:14AM

Just to reassure you a little, the right sided paraysis might improve. It can take a good long while, she can be seeing improvements for up to 2 years so her situation may well not be permanent. She got youth on her side, so her recovery is likely to be greater than that of an 85yr old suffering a stroke.

As far as the 2 year old in concerned, a Mummy with a poorly right arm and leg is still a Mummy. Could they sit together on her hospital bed with them practicising drawing/writing together on a chalkboard, this would help your DiL improve her left hand dexterity (assuming she's not already naturally left handed). And while you'd naturally worry about ANY parent having a small tot and new baby to look after on their own, (and please don't be offended by this) don't doubt his abilities because he's a man.....he'll do her proud I'm sure. I only say this because my Mum would be having kittens if my brother had to look after his daughter by himself (even if wifey was just out for a night with friends) because it has never crossed her mind that's he does a great job becsuse he's a natural, regardless of his sex. I can only apologise that I'm tarring you with the same brush as my Mother......even if you're the same generation I feel bad for even implying you'd think like her! ☺

Practical ways you could help. Batch cook and take him a freezer full of lasagne portions, cottage pies, chilli's etc that he can just nuke in the microwave when he finally flops onto the sofa at night. Maybe spag bol for the little one, pre mixed with spaghetti cut into short bits. If your funds will allow nip out and buy a gross of toddler (and baby) socks, vest and pants so hes got stock easily available, he doesnt want to be faffin drying pairing up miniscule tiny articles (If ever I've got a lot on and my stress levels are going through the roof organising CLOTHES is easy, but checking radiators full of damp socks is something that makes me want to throw plates at walls!).

I feel bad I can't fix this for you! 😔

Lolly88 · 24 December 2017 at 1:19PM

I'm really sorry that this has happened. As someone else mentioned there is a good chance that she will regain some strength in her arm and leg and possibly improve with her speech also. It would be good to get in touch with the Stroke Association who can send someone to come out to see you and they will be able to help and advise on all the different types of support available to your family in terms of finances etc. She should also have a stroke specialist nurse when she gets discharged who will be able to offer support to them too.

Mr_Costcutter · 24 December 2017 at 2:01PM

So sorry to hear that this has happened to your family. Please keep hope in your heart as there may well be improvement in time to come. I'm a survivor of a major stroke and was not expected to survive. Even though I was left with a mountain to climb, I'm determined to do so. Please stay strong and I hope that with each day you will see a little improvement.

mrseyes · 10 January 2018 at 12:27PM

Thank you so much for your support, it did really helped.

My sons girlfriend's is getting slowly better now, her feeding tube is out and that she can eat now, she can talk few words at a time and you can hear her now (not whispering), she can feel her right side and wiggles her toes. She can also squeeze her rand hand when asked to do. Physiotherapist has planned out routine for her and speech therapist attends to her too.

The problem is that when baby is delivered in 10 weeks we have been told that they cant keep baby in the hospital but she would like to breast feed as much possible so don't know what we going to do.

Even if we take baby in out of hospital its 40 miles journey for my son.

But thanked god she is with us and improving day by day.

Thank you so much for your support.

pollypenny · 10 January 2018 at 12:51PM

Thanks for sharing the good news, mrseyes.

Hopefully things will continue to improve. Lots can happen in ten weeks.

heart broken

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