This would be funny if I wasn't so upset. Don't know what to think

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MXW
MXW Posts: 563 Forumite
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edited 20 February 2017 at 2:23AM in Marriage, relationships & families
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  • spirit
    spirit Posts: 2,886 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
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    How come your friend knew about the snoring before you'd had a chance to speak to him about it?
    Mortgage free as of 10/02/2015. Every brick and blade of grass belongs to meeeee. :j
  • swingaloo
    swingaloo Posts: 2,746 Forumite
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    You were not staying the night and he got up twice to find out the time so presumably you were not asleep. How could you be snoring?

    Seems a very childish way for two people in their 50s to be conducting a relationship.
  • downshifted
    downshifted Posts: 1,153 Forumite
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    You sound like a couple of teenagers. Try talking to each other before you flounce out in future
    Downshifted

    September GC £251.21/£250 October £248.82/£250 January £159.53/£200
  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,620 Forumite
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    Sounds like both of you have got out of the habit of being permanently in a relationship with somebody else.
    You do sound rather confrontational and he,a probably not used to all this questioning when he,s been used to living on his own and not having to justify himself and account for every action he,d taken.

    Back off and give each other some space. He sounds as if he's feeling pressurised by your texts and phone calls. Most men don't like dramas and confrontations and just want a nice steady relationship. You're putting too much pressure on him with all these interrogations and he's perhaps starting to feel he'd rather be lonely and have some peace and quiet.
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
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    He lay down on a different part of the bed so you stormed out? You sound like a right drama queen.
  • MXW
    MXW Posts: 563 Forumite
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    edited 19 February 2017 at 10:06PM
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    Primrose wrote: »
    Sounds like both of you have got out of the habit of being permanently in a relationship with somebody else.
    You do sound rather confrontational and he,a probably not used to all this questioning when he,s been used to living on his own and not having to justify himself and account for every action he,d taken.

    Back off and give each other some space. He sounds as if he's feeling pressurised by your texts and phone calls. Most men don't like dramas and confrontations and just want a nice steady relationship. You're putting too much pressure on him with all these interrogations and he's perhaps starting to feel he'd rather be lonely and have some peace and quiet.

    Thanks for your reply. Yes, I think you are right, maybe we have got out of the habit of being in a relationship. I think the problem is that he won't talk about things, and just shuts down. I'm not really confrontational, but do admit that I say what's on my mind, and then its forgotten about, he tends to bury his head in the sand. Everyone is different, and I wouldn't want to change him (although it is frustrating), it's when he says he doesn't know how he feels, and then contridictes himself, almost straight away. I'm upset because he did exactly the same thing last year, and I'm wondering what happens next.
  • MXW
    MXW Posts: 563 Forumite
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    tea_lover wrote: »
    He lay down on a different part of the bed so you stormed out? You sound like a right drama queen.

    No, that is not why I was upset. I was upset because, when the norm is to be cuddled up with someone in bed, and they are laid with their back to you, at the other side of the bed......And twice making a point of waking you up and telling you what time it is....... Especially when it's much earlier than you would normally be going home.
  • emsywoo123
    emsywoo123 Posts: 5,440 Forumite
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    MXW wrote: »
    Thanks for your reply. Yes, I think you are right, maybe we have got out of the habit of being in a relationship. I think the problem is that he won't talk about things, and just shuts down. I'm not really confrontational, but do admit that I say what's on my mind, and then its forgotten about, he tends to bury his head in the sand. Everyone is different, and I wouldn't want to change him (although it is frustrating), it's when he says he doesn't know how he feels, and then contridictes himself, almost straight away. I'm upset because he did exactly the same thing last year, and I'm wondering what happens next.

    I do this all the time with my OH, I am an utter nightmare, but we are in a difficult situation. Thing is, I love him, he loves me, and my teenage-esque strops are something he deals with admirably. I only do them flippantly and because I am a drama queen....I do have other redeeming qualities (I hope!) :rotfl:

    We have a solid and trusting foundation, and ultimately sure of our future and relationship. Patience is key. For both of you. Also, maybe do not put all your happiness eggs in one basket, so to speak. :D
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    I don't get any of this tbh

    How would your friend know that you snore?

    Tbh I think the first time he got cold feet would have been the time I exited this relationship
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    MXW wrote: »
    Last night, we had a night in at his house. Went to bed (I wasn't staying the night).
    MXW wrote: »
    No, that is not why I was upset. I was upset because, when the norm is to be cuddled up with someone in bed, and they are laid with their back to you, at the other side of the bed......And twice making a point of waking you up and telling you what time it is....... Especially when it's much earlier than you would normally be going home.

    Even if it was earlier than you would normally be going home, you twice went to sleep - maybe he didn't want you to still be there in the morning, snoring or not.

    You're complaining that he didn't cuddle you but you fell asleep - twice!
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