Hi newbie here under some very challenging circumstances and this year really is not being kind in fact it’s been outright horrible as my life has been in total free fall. I’m sure there will be light at the end of the tunnel as I always believe that you need to keep positive no matter how hard it gets.

Any way couple of months I left my wife of 15 yrs after being consistently verbally abused almost to the point of dreading to come home and then finally the betrayal with no less than me leaving with the shirt on my back. So Day 2 was sent a message and told that she no longer loved me and that this new person was better in every way and even the kids would grow to love him but that I needed to now collect my stuff immediately to which I said no but I’ll collect some stuff over the weekend. The next thing I find is all my stuff was skipped... hence the shirt on my back! As a result I immediately put a stop to joint bank account in a desperate attempt to stop further issues however I was too late and the overdraft was close to being maxed out of £1400.

Totally unaware of all this prior in a bid to keep the debt down I’d done several transfer balances as she had mentioned she would close some of her cards and we could reduce our debt so took the whole £11,000. Which having researched it I found that it is now my burden alone. Was then contacted by her solicitor and then CSA so now going to have to pay out £700 p/m which I have no choice but that my access to kids would be only a Saturday for a few hours which I do mind. My parents which I’m living with provided me with £2000 in which I paid outright the overdraft using the rest to live until I got paid while I stayed with them.

Month 3 finally I’m about to move into a rented place close by to put my stake in the ground and give me some independence. As nice as it is I’m 40 and can’t live with them! So now in the process of accepting a new job which going through this process had doubts but will be financially better off and I’m genuinely looking forward to it and consider it to be a new start however appreciate that this month coming is going to be a bit financially tough. I’ve not had to pay any board etc but manged to reduce the money loaned from my parents to £1100 however with Debt payments £500 and rent and bond £1400 and CSA £700 and paying some off with my parents etc I’ve worked out that I’ll have just over £600 to live.

The question I have is should I buy things for my new rented house and put it on my credit card with then maybe doing a transfer balance and paying it off or try and get by trying to pay things out right with cash without further increasing the debt? The payments are fragmented and I was wondering just regardless just to consolidate into one payment a month?

When I mean I have nothing I mean it and while I know my parents have bought bits and pieces they will not buy me a washing machine or a TV and I want to pay them back as soon as possible as I feel a bit embarrassed. My thinking was 3 high ticket items are needed Washing machine, fridge and TV while the £600 to pay for transport to work ( train ) , food and doing things for the few hours with the kids I have each Saturday.

I’m not materialistic and have no doubt will pay the debt off however I’ve yet to even think of fighting for custody for my kids and divorce etc...But thought that once I move in I can start the fight back and just have to factor in more costs to which I have no idea about.

Goal for the end of the month I’m expecting to reduce the debt down to £14,500 and my parents down to hopefully £800. However my need for high ticket items would increase the debt to £15,200.

Ps I now have a cash flow very simple mind and debt tracker.