Split the cash?

spidereyes · 17 June 2011 at 2:38PM

Would you always split things equally in terms of bills and things even if you, as a couple did not earn an equal amount?

Me and OH live together in a rented property + have joint account. Whilst I was still at uni and OH was working full time I paid 50% of all the bills despite me only having £350pm and him over £1k.
That left me in a bit of a financial mess as I just couldnt keep up with all the payments and after finishing uni, and running out of money he's been supporting me financially (paying my half of the bills for me).

I hopefully will be starting a new job soon, so I will be able to start paying my way again and I obviously expect to contribute 50% towards our bills, but his salary would still be higher than mine and all his leftover money after bills is his, whereas my 'leftover' money is going to be spent paying off my debts (student overdraft etc). He also has a fairly large savings account whereas I have nothing in savings and would love to be able to build one up but I can't see it ever happening.

He's not in any rush, if at all bothered about me paying him back the money I owe him (around £1200) although I feel guilty owing that kind of cash.

The trouble is he really wants to move house, and there is a chance he might be getting a new job (and pay rise) in the next city where I too would be working, so I would technically be saving some money on travelling BUT the houses there more expensive, especially the area he wants to move to. An extra £50-£100 a month to him in rent wouldn't be very much but to me would actually be a lot after paying enough towards my overdraft so I don't get charged interest....

I don't know really where I stand on this, one part of me thinks its only fair he pays more as he earns more, but then I think already owe him a tonne of money as it is.....

McKneff · 17 June 2011 at 2:42PM

If youre not married, pay 50%, youre getting 50% of the
house, etc.

If the positions were reversed what would you do.

Learn to manage your money better and take responsibility for yourself,

Sorry if thats blunt but you did ask..........

In retrospect, if he is the only one who wants to move and you dont, then i think you'd be quite within yur rights to get him to pay the extra rent in that scenario.

the_cat · 17 June 2011 at 2:54PM

Unless you are married and have agreed IN ADVANCE that he is going to support you.......... it is not the responsibiliy of your OH to subsidise your uni education or periods of unemployment. He has savings and you have student debt. That may be galling but it was your choice to go to uni, not his. Besides you should hopefully recoup that investment over the coming years. You need to cut your cloth according to your income

So yes, I think 50/50 is the only way to go. If you can't afford to move, then you can't move. Simple.

Mojisola · 17 June 2011 at 3:14PM

How do you think of yourselves? Are you BF and GF sharing living accommodation like any other house share or are you a couple, planning on being together for good. If the latter, I think you've got to start thinking like a couple which means you pool your resources.

Barneysmom · 17 June 2011 at 3:17PM

I agree with Mojisola.
If you are together, you are not two seperate people, you are a unit.
So good times and bad you do it all together.
There will come times when you both have to support each other through illnesses, job losses and such.

Talk to each other.

honeypop · 17 June 2011 at 3:46PM

This sort of question comes up pretty much weekly on here, you will get the same answers as everyone else:

1) You should pay 50/50 as that's fair.

2) You should both put all your money together and have one lot of money instead of seperate.

OR

3) You should contribute the same percentage to household expenses, as what you earn - eg, you earn 40% of total household income, you pay 40% towards all bills, expenses etc.

Personally, I do no.3. But everyone who gives their answer, gives that one because that's what they think is best. It's different for different people, not everyone will want to do it the same way and no one answer is correct.

You just need to have a discussion with OH about it and come to an agreement which way is best for you to do it. No-one can answer this for you, as there is no right way to do it, just want's right for you two.

The only way you can sort it out and find out where you stand is to discuss it with him.

Edit to add: While you are discussing it, if you are planning a long term together including kids, then agree on what you will do while you are on maternity leave and your earnings seriously decrease, and you won't be able to contribute very much at all. Just another things that comes up quite often on here!

tinktinktinkerbell · 17 June 2011 at 8:00PM

yes it should be split 50/50

pinkshoes · 17 June 2011 at 8:17PM

If not married and no kids, then it's 50/50.

My ex earned LOADS more than me, and even though we bought a property together, we still paid everything 50/50, as if I wanted more money, it was up to me to go out and earn more!

meritaten · 17 June 2011 at 8:27PM

sorry - but in my experience a real relationship has 'our' money! and if one partner is earning significantly more then they pay more into the pot! this is where communication comes in! the partner who is earning most may be responsible for the mortgage/rent and part of the utility bills - the one who is earning least may be responsible for a part of utilities and/or food.

at any one time one partner may well be not earning - does he or she get chucked out?
specifically to the OPs post - if partner is going to be relocated and earning more - but this means living where 50/50 is beyond OPs means (actually its beyonds OPs means now - but her partner doesnt seem concerned - and this worries me) what would happen? would partner expect her to go further into debt to fund HIS lifestyle?

Johnhowell · 17 June 2011 at 8:37PM

Get a co-habitation agreement drawn up if things may not be exactly 50/50 - before it all goes tits up...
Do not rely on verbal agreements - no matter how many times the other half says they won't shaft you!
Sorry - may sound like sour grapes - but I have "lost" lots...

Good luck,
John

Kimberley82 · 17 June 2011 at 8:38PM

2 weeks after we met we have shared our money, its ours. works well for us.

Split the cash?

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