We can't afford to live together and have children

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  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    There's hardly any 2 beds for sale around here never realised my town had so many large houses in it until we started looking for a house
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,944 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    I don't understand all the personal attacks

    Because we tried answering your questions moderately and it produced no useful effect, so now people are doing the verbal equivalent of grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking. It's impolite, but better than repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
    I'm asking people with more experience some idea of the cost of living

    The cost of living is whatever you want it to be. If you can't grasp that then there is little anyone can do to help.
    why has social media turned everyone spiteful

    And you want kids? You're going to have to be stronger than this if you expect to cope with a screaming toddler or a moody teenager.
  • mai_taylor
    mai_taylor Posts: 220 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    In 5 gears we will owe 127000, if it drops below that we can't sell it, if it drops below 167000 we start losing deposit. And that's before any fees

    So? You will have a home, somewhere to live that your children can grow up in.
  • Livelongandprosper
    Livelongandprosper Posts: 519 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    I'm thinking we need about 900 a month to pay for essential bills and shopping can you live on less


    Shopping here for 3 adults is £120 - £150 a month
    Rates £150
    Electric £50
    Oil £50
    Mobiles £35
    Cars (2) road tax, insurance, mots, repairs £80
    Diesel /petrol £100
    Insurances £30

    So yes you can. That's the bare essentials. Everything else like bb, tv, Sky etc is a choice.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
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    The comment about price was a reply to someone saying sell if it doesn't work out.

    How is the cost of living whatever you want it to be, there will be a bare minimum that you can't get below unless you starve or have your water cut off
  • anna_1977
    anna_1977 Posts: 862 Forumite
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    I don;t think people at meaning to be spiteful, it's just frustrating. This is a massive purchase and we all understand this but from this end it does look like you're finding excuse after excuse not to buy the house. Don't feel pressured by the other half, if you don't want to commit to it don't buy it

    Good luck, I really hope you sort out what you want :)
  • helcat26
    helcat26 Posts: 1,119 Forumite
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    I can see that you are cautious
    However most youngish couples buying a house together take a risk.
    You work out what you can afford now, build in a bit of safety and go for it.
    If you spend all your time looking at what ifs you will never buy a house.


    I will give you the following advice despite the fact I do not think you will like it
    1. You should live together in a short term rental before you buy. People can be incredibly irritating at close quarters.
    2. When you get a mortgage go for the lowest term length in time you can afford
    3. Be prepared to not buy your ideal property- have vision, be prepared to work on a house, be prepared to wait for things you want- like a new kitchen. It does not have to come ready made. You are a team leader- view DIY as a team building experience.
    4. Faint heart never won fair lady. You might think all this prevarication make you look responsible and cautious. She will probably think you are a wuss.
    5. Your parents are probably well fed up and wanting you to leave.


    Good luck
  • black_wings
    black_wings Posts: 87 Forumite
    edited 19 May 2017 at 3:11PM
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    I'm thinking we need about 900 a month to pay for essential bills and shopping can you live on less

    Budget planner?
    https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/tools/budget-planner

    As others have said, your living costs and bills will be individual to you. We don't know if your girlfriend turns the heating up to 100 or you take hour long showers :)
  • mai_taylor
    mai_taylor Posts: 220 Forumite
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    When we were buying we went online looked at a list of bills and worked out roughly what everything would cost, there's plenty of lists for first time buyers. We over estimated by quite a lot so were better off than we though.
  • Livelongandprosper
    Livelongandprosper Posts: 519 Forumite
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    In 5 gears we will owe 127000, if it drops below that we can't sell it, if it drops below 167000 we start losing deposit. And that's before any fees


    Within 6 months of us buying here , our house, on paper, was worth £175k MORE then we paid. A year later, with the crash, it was worth £70k LESS then we had paid

    Has either figure bothered us? Nope. We still have a roof over our heads, a home, somewhere to live. House prices rising and falling have no effect until you decide to sell
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