Teenager and trainers

Money_maker wrote: »

If kids know the value of money then they wouldn't ask for shoes so expensive. Both my teenage boys were non-label orientated and used to laugh at those stupid enough to spend big on a label.

My son never cared either.

Neither of my kids have either but it's the luck of the draw i think. I'm pleased they didn't as i can't afford stuff like that. My daughter( 17 next week) wanted some Timberland boots for Christmas last year, not for the label, she just likes them, i used Quidco and got them in the Office sale for just over £100 they were her main present, normally she's happy with Primark stuff which suits me ! I'd hate to feel under pressure to buy what they want but if you can afford it, and they appreciate it then i probably would. If they throw tantrums if you say no, then i'd dig my heels in. My daughter has a part time job and quite often we negotiate how much she is going to contribute if it's something expensive, otherwise she knows she's paying so it's off to Primark !

nearlyrich wrote: »

This was my stance 15 years ago my DD decided the expensive ones were not worth the extra and she only did it once..

Ditto.
We started when she wanted the school shoes with the flashing lights in the heels and progressed using the same principle throughout the teenage years.

Her dad is now using the same regarding her wedding - he's given her the maximum he can afford (enough to pay for a perfectly good wedding at a local venue) they want a country manor house and a few other fancy bells and whistles so are paying the difference themselves.

Converse might be a suitable acceptable alternative. Still expensive IMHO but less than those trainers....

Growing up, my siblings and I changed from getting pocket money to getting a clothing allowance, when we became teenagers. We were given a lump sum once every 3 months, and got to chose how to budget and spend it.

Our parents paid for school uniforms, school shoes, and a winter coat. And for essential school equipment

We got to chose how we spent the rest - clothes, shoes, make-up / toiletries, leisure activities etc.

It worked really well, as we could chose what we wanted, so if you decided you wanted the expensive trainers you could have them, but that might mean you couldn't have anything else new. And no grumbling at parents allowed, because it was your choice, not theirs!

It was also really useful to us longer term as it meant we got experience at budgeting and planing, and I think that did help us to avoid making bigger and longer-lasting mistakes when we were older.

Maybe you should talk to your wife and suggest something similar, moving forward?
And perhaps discuss your joint parenting choices, so that you are on the same page. It seems like this is less about whether it's appropriate to buy the trainers and more about having differing views about what's appropriate to spend, and to buy on demand.