Life begins again at 45

beanielou · 20 March 2017 at 10:56AM

Slow down :eek:

Bubblesmum · 20 March 2017 at 11:10AM

Finally I got my act together and went to see my GP.

Getting to see her was a circus in itself - I couldn't find any parking, I had decided to use my wheelchair, phoned the receptionists to tell them, well if I couldn't park I would have to go home! Eventually I parked blocking in the doctors - fine unless an emergency.

I have a fab GP - empathetic but is equally blunt in a kind way. I was astonished to get an appointment the next day as normally I wait a fortnight to see her.

However, the reason for the car park chaos and standing room only in the waiting room was that they are running a sit and wait clinic for conditions needing treating that day.

I cam home with a pile of paperwork

. The biggest trying to get my head around is that my GP still thinks the same as in 2014 that I will never work again :eek:

We discussed menopause - not a lot she can do unless I want HRT which I don't because of the link with breast cancer, 5 page handout to read instead!

She did agree to refer me to the chronic fatigue clinic but I need the right bloods!!!

Finally she gave me the talking therapies leaflet to see if I wanted to talk to anyone about this situation.

Lots of food for thought, wasn't that happier a bunny

Cheered myself with a lovely spring walk with Mr Borrow My Doggy and then finished my book the 4th Paul O'Grady autobiography book

Evening was spent knitting in front of the TV... definitely feel like an old lady.

*Robin* · 20 March 2017 at 1:48PM

Well done for getting in to see your GP despite the difficulties.. :T
Re "the Change" I had similar issues with HRT (contra-indicated because of medical history). There are plenty of natural supplements which do just as good a job - or maybe better when one considers the risks of HRT even for healthy women. I took: Siberian Ginseng, vitamin E, Evening Primrose oil and [for a short while] Black Cohosh - but there are others; best to do your own reading and take info to your GP if you're unsure which ones to try.

Also worth doing your own reading about thyroid function blood tests - the most useful ones [free T3 & reverse T3] are not normally done on the NHS, so be prepared to fight (or go private).

Mr Borrow my Doggie sounds lovely.. and very therapeutic!

Bubblesmum · 20 March 2017 at 3:31PM

Beanielou & Robin Thank you, both giving me food for thought.

Yes Mr BMD is the best therapeutic medicine, even when he has got hold of something he should not

and chewing it :rotfl::rotfl:

Bubblesmum · 20 March 2017 at 3:45PM

Saturday morning was Messy Church - it was good to get out and socialise even if in the course of the morning I had to go up and down the old stone steps three times :eek:

In the midst I got a cheeky Costalota coffee break, and returned books to library - so satisfying

Messy Church includes lunch and several alternatives other than sandwiches :T:T

Home - sorting out old curtains to put on Gumtree, and they I quietly knitted in front of Morse on DVD, OH went across the road to watch the Rugby.

I was really grumpy in the evening, I am blaming the hormones. Sulked in bed

and watched Casualty on the laptop, superb performances.

Sunday

Still Grumpy

but in the end we got out of the house and drove into London to Tate Modern, had a very yummy lunch and tea and cake with the Elton John exhibition in between. That was superb he collects old photographs from the 1920's and 1930's of people, places and objects, often with the photographers trying new techniques. There were over a hundred photos. The only hitch with looking from a wheelchair you do get a crick in your neck

Home to cuddles with Gaston, a lap tea and Vera, another great gritty drama

Costalota £2.95

Tate postcards £2

beanielou · 20 March 2017 at 6:53PM

So to get down to the nitty gritty what do you think of what the GP said?

Bubblesmum · 22 March 2017 at 11:56AM

beanielou wrote: »

So to get down to the nitty gritty what do you think of what the GP said?

Relieved but NOT having got to the accepting the situation bit of the journey

I have always needed another person's permission to be unwell. Stems from childhood and my mother not allowing my disability to interrupt her expectation of a "normal childhood". I have to be horizontal, have D & V for her not to send me to school. I had two major ops when I was a child, and went to school in a plastercast. roasting and reading in bed late into the morning at a weekend or school holiday was "lazy". Up washed and dressed was the order of the day. This though backfired when I got very very tired and grumpy.

Despite feeling yuk today, and having a warm bed to be in with the blessing from my OH and two cats joining me, I am up and dressed awaiting delivery of loo rolls.:p

In my heart I think I have known for a long time that regular work was out of the question but I am really struggling to accept it. Along with laziness in childhood there was the emphasis on education (that they never got) and earning my own money. Mum left school at 14 and Dad at 16. My Father has a decent pension, he went to night school and went to the top of his profession ( occupational pensions) is very generous, and helps us out a lot, like wheelchairs etc. After he is gone I will be financially secure. However I was taught not to take this for granted and work hard.... to financially contribute to the household.

At the end of the day I am not ready to "retire" yet on ill health and still in my head see this as a sabbatical. Hence paying my three professional subscriptions and continue doing CPD.

There are positives I am doing ok, I have no pressure as such to go back to work, my OH salary covers all the monthly outgoings, but we do have debt. We are currently looking at a car repair bill of nearly £1K :eek::eek::eek:. Meaning we will need to look to change the car sooner rather that later. :eek:.

Alongside not financially contributing....

A friend commented on email "I am sorry to hear about the chronic fatigue flare up which must be very frustrating because of its unpredictability let along what an active person you are,"

So finally thats the rub, I am naturally a very active person, always doing, and finding myself feeling constantly exhausted and struggling to complete even the smallest of tasks, frustrating, upsetting etc etc.

I am sitting at my desk by the bay window looking into the garden, its dull and pouring with rain. Very much how I feel. However there is a row of golden daffodils and a forsythia bringing a glimpse of sunshine.

There is sunshine in my life, I am not living on ESA as so many in my position. I know I should be thankful and count my blessings, and I do, I need though to find peace and acceptance in this situation.

Thanks Beanieloufor asking....

I need a drink, the menopause situation will be for another post.

beanielou · 22 March 2017 at 9:17PM

Thank you for sharing that Bubbles.
Pretty much my thoughts.
People tell me to slow down & finally in my 55th year I am forced to as my body just wont do as I wish.
But I refuse to be in the house all the time as I would go mad so I do as much as I can as none of us know what is round the corner.
I try not to think about getting older :eek: rotfl:

On the plus side we are both strong woman & we can do what we need to be.
I salute you my friend.
Never forget what a wonderful strong woman you are.

Bubblesmum · 27 March 2017 at 10:33AM

Fatigue - medium

Drove to and from Pilates :j

Shepperton Players in the Evening :j

Bubblesmum · 27 March 2017 at 10:41AM

A Mr Borrow My Doggy Day

We were both a listening ear to our cleaner whose current family story makes you really count your blessings.

We decided we needed to get out and get some air, so the outside cafe was our destination... and found it closed.

So where next with a dog and a scooter and OH in the car, the pub along the river, we arrived, we couldn't go inside, dog and access, shall we sit outside it was a biting wind... and the lunch menu. posh tapas rather than basic pub grab.... we went home for HM beef broth and we achieved the breath of air to revive our spirit.

A personal NSD both yesterday and today.

Life begins again at 45

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