Elite 11+ shopping and chat thread part 2½

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  • bubbs
    bubbs Posts: 66,926 Forumite
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    tweets wrote: »
    :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
    she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
    stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
    After a moment or two, the vet
    shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
    has passed away."
    The distressed woman wailed,
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
    the vet..
    "How can you be so sure?" she
    protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
    something."
    The vet rolled his eyes, turned
    around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
    with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
    in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
    front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
    top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
    shook his head.
    The vet patted the dog on the
    head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
    returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
    delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
    back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
    strolled out of the room.
    The vet looked at the
    woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
    definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
    produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she
    cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
    the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the
    Cat Scan, it's now £150."
    :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    i must confess when i first read it thought it said a limp d ick:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    Sealed pot challenge number 003 £350 for 2015, 2016 £400 Actual£345, £400 for 2017 Actual £500:T:T £770 for 2018 £1295 for 2019:j:j spc number 22 £1,457Stopped Smoking 22/01/15:D:D::dance::dance:- 5 st 1 1/2lb :dance::dance:
  • tweets
    tweets Posts: 35,946 Forumite
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    Happy Birthday mattswife :bdaycake:
  • bubbs
    bubbs Posts: 66,926 Forumite
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    Chrisv wrote: »
    A v T
    2x Quality Street Chocolate Tub (720g) £8.00 N/A
    1x Cadbury Roses Chocolate Tub (660g) £4.00 N/A
    1x Celebrations Chocolate Tub (650g) £4.00 £5.00
    Did you try again Chris?:(
    mattswife wrote: »
    will catch up in a bit but i got the Hobbs birthday candle email today (coz its my birthday yay) i emailed them to ask if they could possibly post it to me and id pay postage, they replied they would love to post it to me and asked for my address, no request for postage! an option if anyone every gets this a a gift choice. x

    Happy Birthday :bdaycake:
    Sealed pot challenge number 003 £350 for 2015, 2016 £400 Actual£345, £400 for 2017 Actual £500:T:T £770 for 2018 £1295 for 2019:j:j spc number 22 £1,457Stopped Smoking 22/01/15:D:D::dance::dance:- 5 st 1 1/2lb :dance::dance:
  • tweets
    tweets Posts: 35,946 Forumite
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    bubbs wrote: »
    :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    i must confess when i first read it thought it said a limp d ick:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:



    A women takes a limp d ick into a veterinary surgeon :eek::cool:
  • braveheart60uk
    braveheart60uk Posts: 3,119 Forumite
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    Just got a booklet for 25% discount at Greene King Pubs.
    Share price is about £5.10 at the moment. Benefits for 100+ shares

    held on 31 July. Dividend 33.2p = approx 6%
    Speculate share price about £5.50 and eat out every month (uo to 5 times a month allowed) to value of £30 = £360 annual, 25% 0ff = £90 or 16% share value.
    So dividend plus discount = 22% return (share prices can go down as well as up)


    IMG_20180914_185007_edit_1536947422754.jpg



    P&O (carnival Group) and others offer shareholder perks


    https://www.hl.co.uk/shares/shareholder-perks
  • braveheart60uk
    braveheart60uk Posts: 3,119 Forumite
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    PS if you cash out Quidco in a "British Pub Card" you get a 10% bonus, so about a total 33% bonus off.
  • bubbs
    bubbs Posts: 66,926 Forumite
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    tweets wrote: »
    A women takes a limp d ick into a veterinary surgeon :eek::cool:

    No tellings these days:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
    Sealed pot challenge number 003 £350 for 2015, 2016 £400 Actual£345, £400 for 2017 Actual £500:T:T £770 for 2018 £1295 for 2019:j:j spc number 22 £1,457Stopped Smoking 22/01/15:D:D::dance::dance:- 5 st 1 1/2lb :dance::dance:
  • Chrisv
    Chrisv Posts: 5,119 Forumite
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    bubbs wrote: »
    Did you try again Chris? :(

    I did :rotfl: - Don't worry bubbs, I won't be eating them, they're for the Grandchildren ;)
  • tweets
    tweets Posts: 35,946 Forumite
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    bubbs wrote: »
    No tellings these days:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

    I hope no ones reading thread backwards :D :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
  • bubbs
    bubbs Posts: 66,926 Forumite
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    Chrisv wrote: »
    I did :rotfl: - Don't worry bubbs, I won't be eating them, they're for the Grandchildren ;)

    Thanks for trying and glad you are not going to over indulge :rotfl::rotfl:
    Sealed pot challenge number 003 £350 for 2015, 2016 £400 Actual£345, £400 for 2017 Actual £500:T:T £770 for 2018 £1295 for 2019:j:j spc number 22 £1,457Stopped Smoking 22/01/15:D:D::dance::dance:- 5 st 1 1/2lb :dance::dance:
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