Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow

Sister came back tonight with better news, he was more positive and more like himself. He took all meds and was generally ok, but extremely tired.

So that was good!

Also I reorganised much of Mum's shed and managed to plan the conservatory so I will have some where to work.

It rained for most of the day so I didn't get to the rabbit stuff which is a problem.

But tomorrow is another day and my sister had a good day so all is well XXX

Been a busy week, a school trip a parents evening, I am so behind at work it is ridiculous and it is stressing me out. If the care/hospital/situation with my BIL and Mum gets any worse I cannot see how I can keep up a full time job. One of my friends quit her job on Friday (she can't leave till July!) because of work load and mental exceptions. And I would be outright sacked for the lack of marking(not GCSE they are fine, just the other 11 classes).

Any way, BIL had a mixed week. My sister seems to think he isn't himself, it is horrible actually because she is doing all of this and some days he barely knows who she is. One of the therapists said to make a scrap book about himself and what he likes but he was adamant he doesn't want to focus on the past, he wants to focus on what he is now and that everything in the past doesn't matter. And that obviously hurt my sister considerably, as she said in a less guarded moment that he was clear that included her. Broke my heart that did.

I mean I know we aren't close and I did resent them, I always found them oddly routined and as a result insular and selfish,that sounds bloody awful doesn't it!! I don't mean it like that I just think they were determined to have the things they wanted and live as they wished regardless - and they no responsibilities, no job, kids, pets and that was a choice, they weren't intentionally doing it hurt people or be superior.

I am very glad I realised all this about...well a year ago? I sort of worked it out for myself, I mean we are SO different and as much as I found it confusing and it made me angry, it is because we are different. But my resentment of their responses to Mum and my other sister had lessened a great deal, it does rear up when Mum says we have no one to help us (er we really never did unless it was planned months or even years in advance :rotfl:) but at the moment this whole situation is so devastating for my sister that I can't see beyond that horror and it is horror. The person you have devoted yourself to at the exclusion of all others has for the moment gone and you don't know when or if he will be back. And in his place is someone who you don't recognise anymore than he recognises you. I think it must be the hardest thing to do. I wouldn't even know where to begin to deal with it.

Saying that I suppose I will face that with mum, tho I suppose with parents it is expected. Dear Lord I am being very depressing this morning!

My poor Mum hates the sofas. I like them, they are warm and cosy and nice for naps. Today I need to rearrange the living room and conservatory. I do need to put the dinning table in the shed which is a bit sad. But overall I am hoping for a less cluttered room and more comfortable seat for her.

Right now I have get on as it is nine o clock. I am meant to be going to the pet shop as well. hmmm.