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  • FIRST POST
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 1st Jan 18, 10:51 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 18, 10:51 AM
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings 1st Jan 18 at 10:51 AM
    Good Morning my Lovelies.

    And welcome to the new bright and shiny Frump to Fab Thread.

    First of all a very big hello and welcome to everyone, newbies, lurkers and returners....and those undecided.

    Second let me wish you all “Happy New Year”.

    Let’s rock this one!!!!

    Well now where do we start this year. We have quite a history here now don’t we. I was thinking this morning about how the thread has developed so for the newbies......a brief potted history.

    A few years ago my son took a photo of me. I was horrified. I burst into tears. I could hardly believe my eyes at the image before me. But.......as we know the camera doesn’t lie and I couldn’t argue with what That image revealed.

    I went upstairs and stood in front of a full mirror and allowed the awful truth to sink in........never mind frump, I looked like a bag lady.

    In my defence.......it was not down to laziness, far from it. I was caring for my semi Paralysed terminally ill husband. My days were full on with caring duties. I scarcely had a spare minute, it was all I could do to shower and brush my teeth sometimes.

    All very noble of course but I had completely neglected myself in the process. I had forgotten the simple golden rule........we cannot care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. We cannot give love, if we don’t treat ourselves with love.

    How many women forget this simple fact. In our busy lives as mothers, daughters, sisters how often to we put ourselves last on that never ending “to do list”.

    As I stood and looked in that mirror I realised the folly of my ways and I resolved to “do something”. I wasn’t sure what exactly but I knew I had to make a start somewhere.

    So I started the first Frump to Fab Thread and, as they say, the rest is history. What started as a simple diary to help me make the necessary changes to get me out of “Frumpdom” has become a wonderful friendship group of likeminded women.

    Yes some of us are of a certain age but not all. Frumpdom is not the preserve of the middle aged woman who has “let herself go”. Becoming a frump can happen to anyone, young women, even teenagers.

    But here’s the good news .......it’s never too late to reverse the process, never too late to ditch the frump, never too late for the caterpillar to turn into a beautiful butterfly or for the ugly duckling to turn into a graceful and elegant swan.

    There are no rules to this thread except one.

    Kindness please........we don’t judge anyone here, we don’t get into futile pointless arguments, we don’t make nasty comments, we don’t indulge in sarcasm, we don’t bully others, we don’t play mind games and we don’t try to score points by making others feel small.

    So all that being said .....if you are ready to change your stars and become that alluring goddess you always longed to be, if you want to reclaim the energy and vitality that was once yours but has somehow disappeared then this is place for you.

    Let’s all get fabulous.

    Lesson no 1.

    Wear perfume, every day. Don’t save it for best. Get out all those unused smellies lurking in the back of the bathroom cabinet or bedside drawer and start using them.

    Smell divine......and fabulousity will follow. That’s a promise.

    A women who smells gorgeous is gorgeous. It’s the first step on your journey.

    Right I’m off to bathe in a sea of perfumed bubbles but first ..........

    This Forum tip was included in MoneySavingExpert.com's weekly email!
    Last edited by Former MSE Andrea; 24-01-2018 at 9:02 AM.
Page 77
    • maman
    • By maman 14th Oct 18, 5:48 PM
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    maman
    Sounds like a very productive day LL . Well done!

    I've looked at pinafores too humpty . The needlecord one I saw in TU had embroidery on it so was a bit too fussy for me. I've seen a plain denim one somewhere that I thought would work for me but I have a denim skirt that would serve the same purpose so can't really justify.

    Talking of pinafores takes me back to my pregnancy with DD. I made myself just one charcoal grey pinafore and that saw me through the few weeks I needed maternity clothes. I was so small and she was a winter baby that I managed with big (what we now call boyfriend) cardigans or jumpers over my normal clothes. I bought one maternity dress for a party in early December as everyone was convinced I had my dates wrong and I thought I would wear it over Christmas but she was born on 20th so I didn't need it after all.

    From a fabbing point of view my pregnancy was perfect. The reason I was so small was that I carried her as a breech and although I didn't have morning sickness as such, I felt queasy throughout as she was pressing on my stomach. I lived on peanuts and oranges and had just one proper meal a day. I gained just half a stone and lost about a stone in myself so after she was born I was slimmer than I started! I have no stretch marks and my stomach was flat immediately and I had a bigger bust! I remember asking for a favourite pre pregnancy dress to be brought in to wear home and I felt fantastic.It was a long time ago but I remember as if it was yesterday.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 14th Oct 18, 6:43 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Wow. Maman.

    When I was pregnant with DS1 I put on 4.1/2 stones. I was like a baby elephant. Mind I put on 12lbs in the final week, all fluids. My feet were like footballs. Believe it or not it wasnt down to overeating. I ate like a bird because The nausea was constant and I had no appetite. By the time my son was a year old, I weighed less than before I got pregnant. The second pregnancy was completely different. Again constant nausea but at six months people didn't believe I was pregnant I was so neat and tidy. Just goes to show how different our bodies are, that even our own pregnancies can be so variable.

    Maman. Thanks - Yes I feel much better now - at least emotionally - for pushing myself, although still tired. Widowhood is strange, one day I feel fine, then for no reason I dip. Keeping busy is the best form of medicine (at least it works best for me). It would be so easy to wallow in self pity and give up but I won't do that. I'm no quitter.

    My sister has been maudlin today (her words) about our Parents. She's been looking at photos. TBH I still can't look at photos of my husband. They are in a cupboard, safe and sound. My youngest son also has them backed up on several electronic devices. They will still be there when I'm ready.

    I think the weather hasnt helped today. It's been very dark. I wonder what kind of winter it's going to be.

    I might have to go in search of some sunshine after Christmas ....
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 14-10-2018 at 6:46 PM.
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 14th Oct 18, 7:11 PM
    • 1,694 Posts
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    sugarbaby125
    Hello Ladies,

    I took my sister H for lunch on Friday at Chicago Rib Shack and we had good food and caught up with each other's family news. I used my Groupon voucher for the 2 course meal for the 2 of us and my sister paid for the drinks we had and the built in service charge.

    On Saturday I went to celebrate one of my great niece's 16th birthday at Frankie and Benny's Strand. There were 12 members of the family having lunch together. I made sure I took lots of photos to share with the rest of the family who were unable to come to the restaurant on Facebook. We all had such an enjoyable time together and for once my great niece was not shy, she was confident and sociable with all of the family. She enjoyed being the centre of attention for the blowing out of the candles and for cutting the 1st slice of cake.

    As the sun was shining on Saturday, I was able to dress elegantly with my clothing and all of my accessories matching. I wore a Next linen mix cream and navy skirt with a M & S navy wrap over navy short sleeve top with Navy Van Dal leather slingbacks. I was carrying a blue leather Osprey handbag and a navy and cream Liz Earle Tote bag. I wore solid silver drop earrings, chain and pendant, a lovely murano glass beaded blue and pink bracelet and my Stainless steel and Diamond Ingersoll watch. I only had on black mascara on my top lashes as I did not feel in the mood for more facial make up and I only had clear nail polish on my finger nails and toe nails. As the sun was really shining I was able to wear my Ralph Lauren Polo sunglasses.

    When I asked my 26 year old daughter how I looked, she was very complimentary which made all of the effort I had made worth it. My daughter is a very honest person and is not tactful so when she gives me a compliment it is very gratifying. My sister H was also complimentary about my outfit and co-ordinated look at the restaurant.

    Today I have taken it really easy and had lots of rest. My son came home from his student accommodation to pay a short visit. He is really enjoying University and living independently. He too is a saver and a money saving expert so when he got his 1st student loan payment, he did not rush out to spend silly money on items he did not need, He needed a new pair of leather trainers but he chose to buy a really inexpensive brand from Sports direct for £25. He just continues to make me proud of the young man he has become.
    Last edited by sugarbaby125; 14-10-2018 at 8:06 PM.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 14th Oct 18, 9:05 PM
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    chanie
    sugar your weekend sounds perfect. Pleased that your DS is settling into uni life.

    LL and maman thanks for your pregnancy stories, it’s nice to find out how others experienced their pregnancies.

    Next weekend, me and DD are going to have some girls fun time, as OH is taking DS to a football match. I am looking forward to it as we rarely get 121 time. We are going to town so I said she can choose a bath bomb from lush and she wants to go for ice cream.
    2019 savings on purchases £3380.63
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    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 15th Oct 18, 7:47 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Nice weather for ducks. Lol.

    It really isnt fit to go out. Luckily I dont have to So Iíll just crack on with the sorting and decluttering and maybe tackle the paperwork.

    Btw. I have heard from both the Johns. John 1 pushing for a date and John 2 still playing it cool. I think I need a third John. One who is a little more dynamic and who will set my pulse racing.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 15th Oct 18, 7:59 AM
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    moneyistooshorttomention

    From a fabbing point of view my pregnancy was perfect. The reason I was so small was that I carried her as a breech and although I didn't have morning sickness as such, I felt queasy throughout as she was pressing on my stomach. I lived on peanuts and oranges and had just one proper meal a day. I gained just half a stone and lost about a stone in myself so after she was born I was slimmer than I started! I have no stretch marks and my stomach was flat immediately and I had a bigger bust! I remember asking for a favourite pre pregnancy dress to be brought in to wear home and I felt fantastic.It was a long time ago but I remember as if it was yesterday.
    Originally posted by maman
    Oh! It only took 60 plus years for that penny to drop.

    As we know - my mother is tiny anyway and I was her first child too. It hadn't registered with me - though she said she was very ill on having me and so much so that she didn't see me for the first few days. I knew she didn't look pregnant when she was and, being my mother was absolutely determined it wasn't going to have an effect on her figure anyway.

    I must have been a breach birth then. That explains a lot. Now I know.

    Things were rather different for her with the second child. She said I was "short and fat" and he was "long and thin" and she had him at home (which was rather brave of her in the circumstances - after having had me). But I expect she had no option - as my father was away and her mother certainly wasn't going to look after me (as she hated children).
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 15-10-2018 at 8:12 AM.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 15th Oct 18, 8:07 AM
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    moneyistooshorttomention

    Btw. I have heard from both the Johns. John 1 pushing for a date and John 2 still playing it cool. I think I need a third John. One who is a little more dynamic and who will set my pulse racing.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Even at our age LL - there's no need to "settle".

    I think you need a "third John" by the sound of it. You had a pretty dynamic husband by the sound of it and men like that are probably few and far between.

    Better to be on one's own than "settle" in my opinion. That's a word and concept I've always distrusted ever since a male friend (who had hoped to be more than a friend - but he wasn't lucky...) said to me years back "Most people 'settle' in the end" and then went to join his new partner and I took one horrified look at her and thought "Blow that for a game of soldiers - I'll never 'settle' - if that's what 'settling' means".
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 15th Oct 18, 9:09 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Money.....you are quite right. We should never "settle".
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 15th Oct 18, 9:24 AM
    • 32,741 Posts
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    seven-day-weekend
    Money.....you are quite right. We should never "settle".
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Hi all!

    Well...on the theme of 'not settling' - we have decided to sell our static caravan. It is beautiful, and so is the site, but we decided at the weekend that the money we pay in site fees could be better spent going on different holidays with our little sports car that we have recently bought.

    If we sell it now, we should still get a reasonable price for it, whereas in a few years it will be that much less.

    We have contacted our site sales team to discuss the best way to go about this and are waiting for them to ring back.

    More adventures on the way!!
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 15th Oct 18, 9:40 AM
    • 4,226 Posts
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    silvasava
    Hi all!

    Well...on the theme of 'not settling' - we have decided to sell our static caravan. It is beautiful, and so is the site, but we decided at the weekend that the money we pay in site fees could be better spent going on different holidays with our little sports car that we have recently bought.

    If we sell it now, we should still get a reasonable price for it, whereas in a few years it will be that much less.

    We have contacted our site sales team to discuss the best way to go about this and are waiting for them to ring back.

    More adventures on the way!!
    Originally posted by seven-day-weekend
    We sold our tourer a couple of years ago as we wer'n't using it to get the full benefit. We've now been taking more trips away in the UK to places we havn't seen before - not regretting it Dont mean to be pessimistic SDW but some times the sites pay well below market value sp hope you get a good price x
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 15th Oct 18, 9:44 AM
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    pollypenny
    LL, definitely don't settle for anyone. On the other hand, a date or two might be fun - as long as the guy has no expectation other than company!
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 15th Oct 18, 10:56 AM
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    sugarbaby125
    Hello Ladies,

    LL you are doing a great job of organising your new home so that it is a reflection of your own style while it is comfortable and stylish

    None of us need to 'settle' for any man that is not going to make our pulse race and make other parts of our bodies go all a quiver. Better to be single than to 'settle' just to have ourselves a partner.

    I have been divorced for 24 years now and still enjoy being single. I had a brief relationship 19 years ago that resulted in me being pregnant with my youngest son. The man I was in a relationship with subsequently disappeared from my life after I told him I was pregnant. He had shown his true colours. As I was already a Mother of 3 children I had with my ex husband, I knew I could cope with being a single mother of 4 children.

    Years later I ran into this man on the street and he wanted me to take his number so we could keep in touch, but I did not want to know. There has been some difficult times with my younger son as a teenager when he wanted to know why he had never had any contact with his biological Father, but in the end he came to accept that not all Fathers were worthy of the title and he had not lost out in not having that man as part of his life.

    I had nausea with all 4 pregnancies, but by the 16th week it was over. I did not gain more than 3kg in any of my 4 pregnancies, so I never had to purchase a single item of maternity wear ever. I breast fed all 4 of my children and did my pelvic floor exercises after their births. Even though I gained very little weight in my 1st pregnancy and did not look pregnant until the last few weeks, I still looked pregnant after giving birth, which was a real shock to me. It took very little time for me to be back to my slender shape once I was a busy 1st time Mother at home. I have a high pain threshold and when I was in labour, I was always being questioned about if I was truly having contractions 5 minutes apart on arriving at the Hospital but it would soon be confirmed by all the machines they would hook me up to. I had to have a C Section with my last birth because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my son's neck twice.

    When I look at my 4 adult children I always feel such pride that they are all adults that reflect so well on me and my parenting skills.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 15th Oct 18, 11:40 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Just resting my back now. I'm really having to pace myself today. I do an hour or so and then have a little break. Still little and often is better than nowt. I am hoping I will get fitter and stronger soon. It's not for the want Of trying. I'll get there.

    SUgarbaby.....you have every right to be proud of your family, and yours and their achievements. Motherhood is not always a picnic even when you have a loving husband who dotes on his kids. It must be even more difficult as a single mum. I take my hat off to you.

    I dote on my boys (well I think you've all sussed that) but there were times when I really struggled, especially when DS1 got sick. DS2 was healthy but could be a handful, dyslexic, arty, dreamy but also a bit prickly and at times wilful. The teenage tantrums were volcanic, the stuff of family legend. It's a wonder our doors had any hinges left. Oddly enough he has turned out to be the most delightful charming man, and very caring towards his mum. .

    Having had two MILS from hell I am especially gratified that I have such great relationships with their womenfolk. The MIL/DIL dynamic can be very tricky but I'm pleased to say we all get along famously. I am very fond of the girls. I love the way they both dote on my baby boys the way they support and encourage their ambitions, even the little pushes and nudges they administer when necessary. My babies are in good hands.

    Relationships are a minefield at times which is why when we find good people we need to nurture them, partners, lovers, children, friends.

    John 1 is a widower and very keen. He is a very nice man, witty, charming, intelligent and easy company. He reminds of Rick Wakeman. He is wealthy and I would want for nothing but he's not for me. I know this sounds awful but he's too old 76 and probably too sick. I am sorry but I don't want to be a rich man's nursemaid. That makes me sound very selfish I know but I nursed a man I adored for 9 years. I know the score and I just don't feel I could do it again. I can't date him because he wouldn't be happy with that, he wants the whole ball of wax, wedding bells the lot.

    John 2 is divorced. I know he wants me but he is playing hard to get. I dont know if it's shyness or whether he's just carrying too much emotional baggage. Either way, if he wants to be in with a chance then he has to up his game. he's sexy and attractive and a great kisser and he certainly makes me quiver in all the right places but he needs to be more than that. Lol.

    Hard to please. Moi?? You betcha!!

    I agree with all you lovely ladies, better no man, than the wrong man.

    My DIL keeps sending me pictures of men she thinks would suit me. She thinks I would favour someone like Andy Garcia..... I am not really into Latin lovers, suave Englishmen are more my style.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 15-10-2018 at 11:54 AM.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 15th Oct 18, 12:02 PM
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    lessonlearned
    SDW Good luck with the selling the caravan. Hope you get a good price.
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 15th Oct 18, 3:12 PM
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    seven-day-weekend
    We sold our tourer a couple of years ago as we wer'n't using it to get the full benefit. We've now been taking more trips away in the UK to places we havn't seen before - not regretting it Dont mean to be pessimistic SDW but some times the sites pay well below market value sp hope you get a good price x
    Originally posted by silvasava
    I don't think they necessarily have a market value, it depends on so many things, but I am aware that it will be less than if we sell it ourselves ...

    .....although we have now had an estimate for it from the sales team and it is only £4k less than if we sell it ourselves for top price.

    So we shall see.
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 15th Oct 18, 3:46 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    Maman I was huge when I was pregnant. All my babies were 9 or 10 lbs. I'm 5'4" and very thin when I got pregnant with the first, 22" waist and it was almost 60" when I gave birth. Big babies who always managed to lie awkwardly. With my first two, in the 70s and never had a scan, they were convinced there were 2 in there with one hiding but no just a big healthy but slightly awkward baby. I didn't put weight on me if you understand, it was all baby belly and my little thin legs looked a bit pathetic so I tended to wear trousers.


    Isn't skin marvelous when you think how it stretched and then went back. I don't think it is that elastic now unfortunately.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 15th Oct 18, 3:54 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    When I look at my 4 adult children I always feel such pride that they are all adults that reflect so well on me and my parenting skills.
    Originally posted by sugarbaby125

    I've got 4 as well, and six grandchildren. I had some photos with them all and when I look at little me in the middle of my big sons plus daughter and grandchildren I can't really believe they are all mine. My own little tribe. Mind you it is a different story at Christmas, with three of them having November birthdays 2 January and 2 February I suddenly think maybe an only child would have been a more MSE idea
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 16th Oct 18, 8:37 AM
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    • 80,044 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Wahoo.....sunshine.

    I'm off out in a minute on a shopping trip, mainly diy stuff. Going to look at secondary glazing systems. There are two large original single glazed wooden windows 1935, to the front elevation, gorgeous but freezing. Although the house isn't listed And I could replace them i think it would be sacrilege - just my opinion of course. Hopefully I can get the glazing ordered and fitted fairly quickly. The windows are in mint condition and fit well with no drafts so secondary glazing should do the trick.

    Unfortunately the house is very poorly insulated and I'm noticing the gas usage for heating is very high, and it's not even that cold yet. I will be upgrading the insulation of course next year when I start knocking the house apart but I need some quick fixes for this winter, so I shall be buying draft excluders, fleece fabric, thermal curtain linings, a couple of extra rugs etc. I have been reading that we are in for a cold winter. So like a good girl guide I shall "be prepared".

    The decluttering went well. I have a car load to drop off at the chazzer.

    Whilst I'm out I shall have a nice lunch somewhere.

    I shall wear my nice new green coat. It's fairly lightweight but nice and cosy.
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 16th Oct 18, 9:00 AM
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    sugarbaby125
    I've got 4 as well, and six grandchildren. I had some photos with them all and when I look at little me in the middle of my big sons plus daughter and grandchildren I can't really believe they are all mine. My own little tribe. Mind you it is a different story at Christmas, with three of them having November birthdays 2 January and 2 February I suddenly think maybe an only child would have been a more MSE idea
    Originally posted by humptydumptybits
    Humpty I have a 19 year old grandson, and 3 granddaughters aged 17, 13 and 12 years old. They too are bright lights in my life.

    My 2 eldest children have December birthdays, so December has always been a month where I have to plan and be very organised as I have always refused to give them joint presents to make life less costly for myself.
    Last edited by sugarbaby125; 16-10-2018 at 4:16 PM.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 16th Oct 18, 1:53 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    I don't do joint presents either as it feels unfair. My youngest two haven't got children yet so I think I will have more to buy for in the not too distant future. I think I need to set up a special "presents" account to even the expenditure out over the year. Nov/Dec/Jan are so expensive for me with Christmas, lots of birthdays and things like my house and car insurance being due not to mention the MOT. I've just realised the way my SRP works out I get two payments in December so that will be useful.
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