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MotherInDisarray
Posts: 4 Newbie
Okay, I've searched high and low for a thread which might answer all my questions so apologies for a new thread. Sorry it's long.
Husband and I of 6 years (and two kids) have decided to call quits on the marriage (well, he has but that's not important). It's the right thing to do but not ideal.
We're currently private renting a 3 bed house, struggling to make ends meet each month and have borrowed a fair bit from friends which I need to find a way to repay.
It's been agreed that I will move out and he will stay with the kids (don't question, it's the right thing for us).
However, our major problem is that we don't have any savings whatsoever, have a fair amount of debt each (although I am finally on a StepChange DMP for mine) and therefore, don't have the £3-4k required for me to move to a new rental property (to cover deposits, rent in advance, fees and a sofa/bed!)
Realistically, what are my options? I did ask my parents if they could make one final sub to me for £1500 for a deposit but they said they're pretty much out. I wondered about an Amigo Loan but the interest is scandalous so that's also out of the question really. Parents have okay credit, should I ask them to take a loan out (they're homeowners) which will have better interest and just make the payments on it?
It was going to be tight to pay rent on a flat, bills, DMP, food and petrol etc. as it was so it all makes me a bit panicky, but staying here with him is making me ill.
I mean, basically we're screwed, right? We live in the most expensive part of the country (SW London/Surrey) but obviously with us both working and the kids at school, we can't stray too far to find somewhere cheaper.
I work 29.6 hours a week, take home is £26k gross, so I certainly shouldn't be poor but I have terrible credit history and with the DMP can't do anything in my name. Not even thought about how 'husband' is going to afford to survive, even with me continuing to pay childcare.
Any ideas at all (please be gentle!!)
Husband and I of 6 years (and two kids) have decided to call quits on the marriage (well, he has but that's not important). It's the right thing to do but not ideal.
We're currently private renting a 3 bed house, struggling to make ends meet each month and have borrowed a fair bit from friends which I need to find a way to repay.
It's been agreed that I will move out and he will stay with the kids (don't question, it's the right thing for us).
However, our major problem is that we don't have any savings whatsoever, have a fair amount of debt each (although I am finally on a StepChange DMP for mine) and therefore, don't have the £3-4k required for me to move to a new rental property (to cover deposits, rent in advance, fees and a sofa/bed!)
Realistically, what are my options? I did ask my parents if they could make one final sub to me for £1500 for a deposit but they said they're pretty much out. I wondered about an Amigo Loan but the interest is scandalous so that's also out of the question really. Parents have okay credit, should I ask them to take a loan out (they're homeowners) which will have better interest and just make the payments on it?
It was going to be tight to pay rent on a flat, bills, DMP, food and petrol etc. as it was so it all makes me a bit panicky, but staying here with him is making me ill.
I mean, basically we're screwed, right? We live in the most expensive part of the country (SW London/Surrey) but obviously with us both working and the kids at school, we can't stray too far to find somewhere cheaper.
I work 29.6 hours a week, take home is £26k gross, so I certainly shouldn't be poor but I have terrible credit history and with the DMP can't do anything in my name. Not even thought about how 'husband' is going to afford to survive, even with me continuing to pay childcare.
Any ideas at all (please be gentle!!)
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Comments
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Are you able to increase your hours to work full time?
If you need to stay in that area but can't afford to move out can you both continue to live together? Maybe in seperate bedrooms and pay down the debt. You could post a statement of affairs (SOA) in the debt free part of the forum and they may have advice on how you can cut down your outgoings.
I'd stay away from the Amigo loans. It could start off a bad cycle of reliance on them and you end up snowballing in them.0 -
Well you clearly can't afford a flat of your own so the cheaper option is a room in a house/flat share.
Or try moving to a less expensive area?
No way you can stay where you are in separate rooms?
Final option, is to couch-surf on friends and family's sofas for a while till you get the debt under control and some savings behind you.0 -
Have you looked into what benefits might be available to you? Working tax credits? Housing benefits? I haven!!!8217;t got much idea myself but there are calculators online that can help.0
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Firstly, thanks so far.
Have considered a 4 bed house in a slightly cheaper part of our world which would allow us to live 'seperately' to some degree.
I don't want a house share for a variety of reasons, not least I then can't have the kids to stay so that's off the table really (at least, in the long term, though I appreciate it would at least get me out of here).
Have considered moving back to my parents but that means a 3 hour+ round trip to work and the increased petrol costs but it's a possible (at least the kids can stay!)
As for benefits, as I'm working and earning, there's zip all available to me, no housing benefit, tax credits, nothing. Even a tenancy bond or similar to pay the deposit is closed because I'm working.
I think I will have to ask about going back up to full time, I dropped when my son was younger. However, it's another contract change and they don't usually like you going back up (cost saving, I work at a University that's in the sh**!) I am hoping to start a part time course at the University however, that THEY will pay for. Hopefully after that point I will be able to change roles and earn more but that's obviously 2.5 years away!
And noted on Amigo Loans, found enough on here that tells me to avoid like the plague!!0 -
If your parents will accept it then surely the best option is staying with them. OK a long commute but at least it is a positive move financially. Otherwise you will end up spending loads to get nowhere. Also if you have to continue part time then you have the time available for the commute.0
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Alas I will still work the same days/hours, I just have a Wednesday off (which from September will be taken up with my course so I'll actually have to make the commute 5 days a week!) Hmmm....! Still, Sept is a long way off, might have been able to put a bit aside by then for an actual deposit.0
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Look for a place as a lodger and take your children to your parents when it's your weekend for visitation.
Have you factored in child maintenance costs to your budget?0 -
You and hubs are in this leaky boat together so can you work out some sort of timeshare whereby the children live in the current rental full time but when it's your turn to have the children hubs makes himself scarce. That leaves you able to be a lodger or in a house share the rest of the time. That's assuming you only have a couple of nights per week with the children when hubs can get a B&B or stay with friends etc.
Not ideal but with money that tight it seems clear you can't afford to run two full time homes and it would at least give the children some stability in not having to keep moving home between the two of you.0 -
Hi.
The other thing to add - go to https://www.entitiledto.co.uk put in your details and it tells you what benefits you would be entitled to. It may surprise you how much you can get, which may make it easier for you.
Not sure if that will help, but its worth looking at.0 -
MotherInDisarray wrote: »
I did ask my parents if they could make one final sub to me for £1500 for a deposit but they said they're pretty much out. ............. Parents have okay credit, should I ask them to take a loan out (they're homeowners) which will have better interest and just make the payments on it?
NO! - definitely not.
You probably can't/definitely shouldn't take out a loan on someone else's house/home.
What protection would your parents have to ensure that you absolutely definitely made those payments without fail on the dot every month until the loan was paid back at the end of the loan period (or earlier)??
What guarantee could you provide your parents that, even if your financial circumstances got even worse, you would definitely make those loan payments each month?
Who would "carry the can" if something went wrong one way or another with you making those loan payments? I bet it would be your parents and not yourself.0
This discussion has been closed.
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