Mother in law taking photos of inside my house

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RebekahR
RebekahR Posts: 5,980 Forumite
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So this morning I heard and saw my mother-in-law taking photos downstairs. I was upstairs on the landing and could hear her. I asked who was flashing but she never said anything. So incase I was just making it all up I thought I would check her camera when I went down. Sure enough she had taken photos of all the messy places in my house. The side board with paperwork piled up, the messy kids toys, and the sofa with bedding on. Now seriously who goes into someone else's house and photos their paperwork, and indeed their private space??! I suspect as narcissistic as she is she will have great intentions of taking this home to show her friends and shame me. She detests that I don't keep a perfect house like she does. But seriously this is one step too far and I feel really violated! Or maybe I'm just being ott? ...
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  • lincroft1710
    lincroft1710 Posts: 17,646 Forumite
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    just tell the interfering bovine creature she is no longer welcome in your home
    If you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    I hope that you deleted the photos before you gave her back her phone and asked her to let you know before she intends to visit in future, in order that you can "mess the place up a bit" before she arrives!
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,381 Forumite
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    Are you ashamed of your house?
    Are you worried what others might think if they see the photos?

    If the answer is no to both...why care?

    And don't let her in again!!!
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.31% of current retirement "pot" (as at end March 2024)
  • Brighton_belle
    Brighton_belle Posts: 5,223 Forumite
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    Are you ashamed of your house?
    Are you worried what others might think if they see the photos?

    If the answer is no to both...why care?

    And don't let her in again!!!

    What if it is yes though...may of us have untidy corners we that we wouldn't want to be flashed around strangers to shame us.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
  • NeilCr
    NeilCr Posts: 4,430 Forumite
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    edited 13 October 2019 at 5:10PM
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    I guess this is just me.

    But

    MIL takes photos of inside of OPs house without asking. OP then roots through MIL's camera, presumably without asking. Is there much difference?

    I have said it before but sometimes I am definitely in a non MSE parallel universe where me, my partner, her family and my friends respect everyone's privacy. None of us would, for example, just start looking through someone else's phone.
  • maman
    maman Posts: 28,589 Forumite
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    I think I might inhabit the same universe as you Neil . You are not alone!:)

    I blame the soaps myself. Some people seem to think they live in them and seem desperate for drama in their lives.

    My advice to OP is that if you're happy with the state of your home then just ignore it. I agree it's odd behaviour but I find going through someone's phone /camera worse.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,306 Forumite
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    Where is the OP's partner in all this? Can it be their job to ensure their home is up to their mother's standards before she visits - or otherwise stop the MIL finding fault.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 32,753 Forumite
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    And your OH point of view is? It's his mother so presumably he's ready, willing and able to remind her of a few boundaries.
    Talk about banning her is just silly - overreaction plus banning your partners mother from the house over something so easily sorted isn't particularly conducive to maintaining familial relationships.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • RebekahR
    RebekahR Posts: 5,980 Forumite
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    Yup you guys are right. Two wrongs don't make a right. I don't even go in the same room as her when she stays because she always always turns the conversation into some form of telling me off or criticism for not keeping my home picture perfect as it should be. I have 2 small children 7 and 4. If they get toys out they are told off and must only play with 1 at a time. And no paint, play dough or anything else is allowed out ever in her eyes. She moves, reads and sorts through paperwork thinking nothing of throwing anything away. Just yesterday I rescued 2 kids toys and something of mine from the dustbin. She says they have enough and won't be missed. Surely that is my call. This is just another jab at me to be able to go back to her friends with photographing evidence of how I don't keep the family home how it should be. It was a camera but yes camera or phone still is wrong.
  • POPPYOSCAR
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
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    I would have asked her why she was taking photos of your house.

    If she denied it I would say you saw her doing it.

    As others have said what has your partner got to say about it?
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