Non Molestation order question
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Thank you for this.I would always ask for this kind of dubious advice in writing - most people will think things through more carefully if they have to put it in writing.
I wouldn't put yourself at risk of breaking the court rules when it's so easy to conference call or Skype.
Put in writing to the Social Worker why you won't attend so that your ex can't make out that you've been reluctant to deal with issues about the children.0 -
Thank you for that. Thats nice of you to sayI would not attend the meeting.
Social workers are trained in all legal aspects of the law.
Have your children been approached about this meeting and are they happy to attend?
I would be very concerned if they are being forced to attend.
Some social workers think they know best and are not taking into consideration all parties concerned.
I would also contact the school and explain to the headteacher why you will not be present as it will show the school that you are a very responsible parent.
You sound as if you are doing a grand job bring up your family, keep going and good luck.
Regarding the kids possibly being forced into going to the meeting.
I have asked them if they wanted to go, they are happy to as it will be a chance for them to have their say. They have both seen the negative way the Social worker treats me and talks to me. They have also had a gut full of the social worker defending their mum when she lets them down, lies to them and basically behaves poorly. I have stressed I do not want them to take sides, they love us both but they lived through what their mum put me through and now she is still behaving badly they have had enough. They dont even like staying at her place, they only do it because I asked them to as I feel their mum has the potential to be a good mum, or at least thats what I thought. Recent events have made me question this but I do know she loves them, she is just rubbish at showing it.
Anyway, Im starting to ramble, they will attend, have their say and hopefully be listened too. However they are at the point that if the Social worker openly sides with their mum again the brown stuff could hit the swirly thing0 -
The one thing I wont miss about the ex is exactly this.DoubleDoors wrote: »I wouldn't trust the (verbal) word of the social worker and I certainly wouldn't trust the ex-wife. What is it with women these days? Making up allegations out of revenge, it seems to be happening more and more. Something needs to be done about it, really.
She made so many false accusations and had me arrested more times than I can remember. Ironically I am the one with the missing teeth if you catch my drift. She had a terrible upbringing and I used to use this as an excuse for her.
When she left I was relieved, I thought 'Brilliant, I can move on and be a Dad without dealing with her crap'
How wrong I was, she even tried to get me arrested recently because I said I wasnt happy with her for upsetting our daughter on the phone. Thankfully the police did not take her seriously this time.
Sadly though the social worker laps up all her lies but thats social workers I guess.
I'm confident things will get better eventually. It will no doubt be a long road but It will be worth it in the end.0 -
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I do agree but they are keen to have their say.Setting aside the non molestation order I would be concerned about the children having to attend such a meeting. Surely it is going to put them in an awful position.
Bless em, they have had a rough year. 2017 is one year Ill be glad to see the back of0 -
Single_Dad wrote: »Thank you all for the advice.
Ill be taking it. Im going to contact the Social; workers manager today and tell her I wont be attending the meeting and why.
Hopefully they will play ball and allow me to have my say over the phone.
If you do that by phone, think about recording the conservation and/or following it up in writing, stating your reasons for refusing to attend the meeting.
With a manipulative ex, be aware that she could try to use your refusal to attend in person against you.0 -
OP
An order was granted presumably under part 45 of the families act. You successfully defended this, so well done. An undertaking is a civil promise, not a criminal offence.
You cannot be arrested for breaching it. Your wife would have to go back to court and convince a judge that it is contempt of court.
I would suggest you write a letter to the school, the social worker, the police which outlines your concerns.
Seperately you need to contact CMS for maintenance.0 -
Everyone, please understand there is no NMO in place. The Op gave an undertaking, the order is dismissed0
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Single_Dad wrote: »Sadly no. I cant work at the minute as I am having to look after my son. He has quite a bad stomach condition that leaves him in pain for most of the time.
He is getting better slowly so hopefully Ill be back in work very soon.
If you feel you are having difficulties working with the social worker have you sought legal advice regarding this aspect?
From what you have said, as you aren't working and possibly receiving benefits, you would be entitled to advice regarding social services involvement through the Legal Help scheme. I know it doesn't help regarding the ins and outs of the Non-Mol proceedings but questions regarding this social work meeting can be answered through the Legal Help/children issue side of it.0 -
What is the specific wording of the undertaking you gave?
It's not a good idea to do anything in breach of it, as technically that is a contempt of court.
It is unusual to involve children directly in any meeting, normally a social worker would speak to them, perhaps at home or in a neutral place such as school.
I recommend that you speak to a solicitor and get some proper advice. If you can, find a solicitor who deals with both public and private children law, as they will be familiar with Social Services' powers and processes.
You can also tell the social worker that as your undertaking to the court prevents you from sitting down with your ex, you will be happy to meet with her if she is prepared to cooperate to take a joint application to the court for you to be released from the undertaking. Please be aware that because the undertaking is given to the court, it is the court, not your ex, who has the power to release you from it.
Also, social workers are not legally trained or qualified - never assume that they are correct when telling you about it!
Have you been given copied of minutes from any previous meetings with social services? If not, ask for these, review them for factual accuracy and respond in writing if they have made any factual errors (for instance, stating your wife's allegations as facts rather than stating that these are her allegations) Again, arranging for a solicitor to attend with you may help you.All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)0
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