Co-owned house - causing friction

LilElvis wrote: »

Why assume that? Ive been (effectively) mortgage free since I was in my early 40's, net worth in 7 figures and would inherit 7 figures if the parents popped their clogs tomorow. I've never relied on receiving a penny and have actively encouraged them to enjoy their lives and not feel that they need to leave anything to us. As it stands they have set up trust funds and pensions for their grandchildren.

Wow ... Modesty and class alive and well :rotfl::rotfl:

svain wrote: »

I stated "people love to jump on posters when it comes to inheritance. Its a common reaction on this site". ... I stand by that

Would that be the threads that ask ways of securing homes so care care fees can be avoided?

I wonder why that is.

I understand the OP being miffed but also understand the mum's position. Her reality is that she is an adult, who has been responsible for the wellbeing of her home for decades. Then her children, who to her, are still just starting their lives (relatively speaking) are telling her stuff she feels isn't relevant.

Its a very hard situation. I have a father and a 22 year old so I get it from all angles from both parties lol. I see my father making errors (like buying a mobility scooter without trying it, deciding he didn't like it and then practically giving it away, did the same with a car), gradually losing his marbles but also loving the irascible stubborn old so and so and realising the stubborness is probably what keeps him going. Although I must admit I did take offence when he told me (very seriously) that he thought I'd got bipolar and it wasn't anything bad, there was treatment lol. I've got my son telling me exactly where I am going wrong in everything, left university although the situation there was sortable, moved into an uncertain housing situation etc, like he's done all my living, with the tact of a blind hippo. My lip is nearly bitten off and I am firmly ignoring the sawdust (probably blinded by my plank).

I have learned to just stand back, prepared to rescue if things go wrong, if I am allowed to. Otherwise you can do nothing. I'm afraid the contract is between her and the builder. Unless you can and are willing to prove her incapable in some way, you can do nothing.

Choose what you feel. Don't feel hurt, be glad she is there and stubborn enough to argue. And leave her to it. You don't need to make her feel incapable. I know you don't want to. There will be plenty of time to rescue the property if it should need it later on. Just keep an eye on the work for now, only step in if your mum really is being robbed blind.

BTW you could, I am sure, fill that hole. Its a fairly easy job.