Female bullied at work by male colleague

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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    Can she not handle things herself?

    Usually outside involvement can cause many additional problems.
  • Wyndham
    Wyndham Posts: 2,444 Forumite
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    Can she not handle things herself?

    Usually outside involvement can cause many additional problems.

    This. Why are you getting involved. If you think a letter is the way to go, why are you not supporting her to write her own (if she needs the support).

    She is a manager, but respect is earned. It will not be earned if you go in to 'rescue' her from the situation.
  • Takeaway_Addict
    Takeaway_Addict Posts: 6,538 Forumite
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    edited 16 March 2019 at 11:41AM
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    Why are you posting the letter and not just handing it in?


    Also- put it on here first because I'd be very surprised if its good and not to emotional- better to stick to facts and have a cold element to it
    Don't trust a forum for advice. Get proper paid advice. Any advice given should always be checked
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,180 Forumite
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    She needs to shut him down firmly, get in his face verbally that his behaviour will not be tolerated in the work place, cowards don't like it.
  • cr1mson
    cr1mson Posts: 891 Forumite
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    Has she worked with this person for a while before as you say just started last Sunday? Is it possible that something external has happened that has triggered this? Whilst the behaviour is unacceptable it may have nothing to do with your partner and this gentleman may have something going on that you do not know about and approaching it from this perspective might help.

    I am not sure a letter will help especially if it is from you as this has only been going on for a short while and they may take the view that your partner should have made more attempts to resolve it.

    In terms of practical steps I would make sure she notes any instances and avoids being alone with the individual.
  • ohreally
    ohreally Posts: 7,525 Forumite
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    She has three problems:

    You getting involved. Its not your party so keep out as far as possible.

    Her being ignored in her supervisory capacity. She needs to assert her authority.

    Failure of management to support their staff. I'd consider going to grievance.
    Don’t be a can’t, be a can.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,329 Forumite
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    First, I suggest she think about the scale of the problem. Does he behave professionally with other supervisors or other women? Did he behave like this almost as soon as he arrived or has there been a change in his behaviour?


    I agree with the others who say don't write and send letters for your girlfriend. Taking over is not appropriate support. How would your work react if she started sending in letters on your behalf?
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  • Money_maker
    Money_maker Posts: 5,471 Forumite
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    Sounds like the girlfriend has things to worry about at home as well as work if her situation is being controlled for her. Perhaps an assertiveness course may help her to stand up for herself.
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  • Poison877
    Poison877 Posts: 42 Forumite
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    Money_maker wrote: »
    Sounds like the girlfriend has things to worry about at home as well as work if her situation is being controlled for her. Perhaps an assertiveness course may help her to stand up for herself.
    I am not getting Your point , can You please explain ?
    If You got nothing nice to say , don't say anything at all
  • Les79
    Les79 Posts: 1,337 Forumite
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    Poison877 wrote: »
    I am not getting Your point , can You please explain ?

    I'll explain.


    An assertiveness course is one which teaches you how to be "assertive" and stand up for yourself. How to express yourself in a way which makes your point heard and understood, and garner respect.


    I can find a course online for you if you'd like, so that you can pass it over to your partner?
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