Supporting my daughter as she prepares to go to Uni
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Thanks for your responses. Sorry for the delay in responding but I locked myself out of my account and had to reset my password etc.
I appreciate what you are saying in that my Grandchildren have not worked whilst they were studying. My Granddaughter did go to the US last summer to do Camp America.
I am giving my Granddaughter the money to help her Parents as it is much more expensive for accommodation at US Universities plus the added expense of flights etc. I am happy to give her £5000 which will be mostly used for that accommodation.
My Grandson fell out of love with Physics after about the first 18 months of his degree. He is a very clever boy but his heart was just not in Physics. . He has spent the past 9 months considering his future.
He has been offered a place at Newcastle and Birmingham Universities for a Masters in Computer Sciences. Birmingham was his first choice. He is a quiet boy who lacks confidence so I want to help him as much as possible. He will talk to me but not his Parents. My Daughter tends to be very confrontational which is why he won't talk to them. I don't get involved in discussing his situation with her. It is pointless as it is always very negative.
He will get a loan which will cover his course fee but it leaves nothing or almost nothing for living expenses. I am not sure but I think his accommodation will be around £500 a month. I am wondering if around £75 a week or £300 a month would cover his general day to day living. So I would be happy to give him £800 a month. I just want him to get a qualification which will open up a better opportunity for a career in which he will be happy.
Thanks again for your views and advice. Sue
Like a lot of students, he can apply for a maintenance loan to fund his living costs, my daughter is going to Uni in September, she will receive £8400 to cover her costs, after her accomodation is paid it will leave her with about £5000. My daughter is also planning on getting a job which will fit around her course. He could apply for the maintenance loan too, it will depend on his parents income? I appreciate you're trying to help him but it might actually help him if he got a job to help fund his studies and boost his confidence ? Does your daughter know you will be giving him the money ?0 -
I don't think he can get a grant for a Post Grad course. He can get a loan which I understand is £10,000 but the fee is about £9300 .
Yes my Daughter knows that I am supporting him for this year I did try to discuss how much I thought would be needed for his living expenses over and above his rent. I mentioned £50 but she said no way which is why I am talking about £75 a week.
I intend to have a chat with my Grandson on my own so that we can discuss the ins and outs of thing. I know a Masters will be involve hard work on his part and I just want to talk to him about his commitment. I appreciate what you are saying about him finding some work as I feel he has got until September so 3 months which would allow him to have a buffer. He still has got some savings but I reckon he must have exhausted most of that in the past few months. It is difficult being the Grandmother but I do have a very good relationship with both of these Grandchildren. I have another 3 Grandchildren but they are younger 15 13 and 7 .
I just want the best for all of them. Thanks again Sue.0 -
Sometimes the best for them is a little tough love.0
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My grandson came to see me on Sunday . We had a long conversation about his goals. I said what I needed was a strong committment to work hard . He says he really wants to get this qualification so that he can have a career in this field.
My Daughter says that they appreciate any financial help I can offer but that they are prepared to contribute to.his financial costs
In the meantime he has gone to Bath to attend the Graduate Ball as his girlfriend's partner
Says he intends to look for a summer job when he comes back next week..
His girlfriend is going home and will work for the summer also
We had a chat about accommodation and he hopes to live in University accommodation. Birmingham were just waiting on email confirmation of his BSc Physics degree. I am sure this will have now been confirmed.
I spoke to him.about communication with his Parents He says it seems pointless due to negatively on my Daughter's part.
She is very confrontational and tends to say oh he probably won't get a job at the end of this either.
My Nephew who has got.a senior position at Microsoft in Seattle. Has worked for them for 20 years plus
Has got in excess of 30 Patents. He worked twice with Amazon but Microsoft always poach him back after a very short time.
He has said he will set up some contacts teams companies etc when he completes his Master's. He sees his Physics degree as being an advantage.
My hope is that he will successfully complete his Master's that these contacts will lead to some success in finding his first job. Fingers crossed !
Thanks to everyone for their advice and support to a worrying GRANNY Sue0 -
My grandson came to see me on Sunday . We had a long conversation about his goals. I said what I needed was a strong committment to work hard . He says he really wants to get this qualification so that he can have a career in this field.
My Daughter says that they appreciate any financial help I can offer but that they are prepared to contribute to.his financial costs
In the meantime he has gone to Bath to attend the Graduate Ball as his girlfriend's partner
Says he intends to look for a summer job when he comes back next week..
His girlfriend is going home and will work for the summer also
We had a chat about accommodation and he hopes to live in University accommodation. Birmingham were just waiting on email confirmation of his BSc Physics degree. I am sure this will have now been confirmed.
I spoke to him.about communication with his Parents He says it seems pointless due to negatively on my Daughter's part.
She is very confrontational and tends to say oh he probably won't get a job at the end of this either.
My Nephew who has got.a senior position at Microsoft in Seattle. Has worked for them for 20 years plus
Has got in excess of 30 Patents. He worked twice with Amazon but Microsoft always poach him back after a very short time.
He has said he will set up some contacts teams companies etc when he completes his Master's. He sees his Physics degree as being an advantage.
My hope is that he will successfully complete his Master's that these contacts will lead to some success in finding his first job. Fingers crossed !
Thanks to everyone for their advice and support to a worrying GRANNY Sue
I hope it all goes well for your grandson, he seems to be saying all the right things now. My daughter is going to Uni in September, her accommodation is all confirmed and sorted as is her funding. She has had a a part time job since she was 16 and loves it, she loves the money too ! She also volunteers 2 days a week at a local school when she's not at college (she's doing a teaching degree at Uni) I can't really fund her social life as i'm a single parent (no grandparents) so she knows she has to work if she wants to go out/buy make up/clothes etc. I'm not sure she would have done this if someone else had been providing her with money. The job has also helped her gain confidence and given her a whole new set of friends.
We all want to help our children but i agree with other posters who say that tough love is sometimes the best way. I would love to be able to give my daughter more money but our situation really has worked out well so far.
OP i know you only have the best intentions for helping your grandson but your daughter must have her reasons for saying what she does. Computer Sciences is a hugely competitive market and he will have to be at the top of his game to do well. I wish your grandson well, i hope it all works out ok for him but i think maybe you should try a little tough love.0 -
My grandson came to see me on Sunday . We had a long conversation about his goals. I said what I needed was a strong committment to work hard . He says he really wants to get this qualification so that he can have a career in this field.
My Daughter says that they appreciate any financial help I can offer but that they are prepared to contribute to.his financial costs
In the meantime he has gone to Bath to attend the Graduate Ball as his girlfriend's partner
Says he intends to look for a summer job when he comes back next week..
His girlfriend is going home and will work for the summer also
We had a chat about accommodation and he hopes to live in University accommodation. Birmingham were just waiting on email confirmation of his BSc Physics degree. I am sure this will have now been confirmed.
I spoke to him.about communication with his Parents He says it seems pointless due to negatively on my Daughter's part.
She is very confrontational and tends to say oh he probably won't get a job at the end of this either.
My Nephew who has got.a senior position at Microsoft in Seattle. Has worked for them for 20 years plus
Has got in excess of 30 Patents. He worked twice with Amazon but Microsoft always poach him back after a very short time.
He has said he will set up some contacts teams companies etc when he completes his Master's. He sees his Physics degree as being an advantage.
My hope is that he will successfully complete his Master's that these contacts will lead to some success in finding his first job. Fingers crossed !
Thanks to everyone for their advice and support to a worrying GRANNY Sue
If he has worked for Microsoft in Seattle for 20 years plus has he been resident in the UK for the last three years to qualify for a Post Graduate loan?0 -
Sorry I have not made this clear. It is Nephew who has worked for Microsoft for 20+ years.
I get what you are saying about tough love but for now I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully when he completes his Masters he may be in a better place regarding career opportunities. He does not want to go down the Physics route hence the reason for the Masters in Computer Sciences.
I am very happy that you have got things all settled for your Daughter. Being a single parent is I am sure very hard. Without her doing part time work no doubt she would not have the money she wants for her social activities. No doubt she may appreciate her opportunity more than my Grandson. I wish her well and every success her studies.
Thanks again Sue0 -
I don't think he can get a grant for a Post Grad course. He can get a loan which I understand is £10,000 but the fee is about £9300 .
Yes my Daughter knows that I am supporting him for this year I did try to discuss how much I thought would be needed for his living expenses over and above his rent. I mentioned £50 but she said no way which is why I am talking about £75 a week.
I intend to have a chat with my Grandson on my own so that we can discuss the ins and outs of thing. I know a Masters will be involve hard work on his part and I just want to talk to him about his commitment. I appreciate what you are saying about him finding some work as I feel he has got until September so 3 months which would allow him to have a buffer. He still has got some savings but I reckon he must have exhausted most of that in the past few months. It is difficult being the Grandmother but I do have a very good relationship with both of these Grandchildren. I have another 3 Grandchildren but they are younger 15 13 and 7 .
I just want the best for all of them. Thanks again Sue.
I'm a grandmother and understand your feelings but I think a reality check would be good for him. If I was you I would be saying get a job and save between now and September and if he does that you will match it, or give him double what he saves or however much it would work out as. I wouldn't be giving thousands to someone who has been thinking about what to do for 9 months and is still sitting there now.
Sometimes kids need a bit of a push and making life too easy isn't always the kindness we think it is.0 -
Sorry I have not made this clear. It is Nephew who has worked for Microsoft for 20+ years.
I get what you are saying about tough love but for now I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully when he completes his Masters he may be in a better place regarding career opportunities. He does not want to go down the Physics route hence the reason for the Masters in Computer Sciences.
I am very happy that you have got things all settled for your Daughter. Being a single parent is I am sure very hard. Without her doing part time work no doubt she would not have the money she wants for her social activities. No doubt she may appreciate her opportunity more than my Grandson. I wish her well and every success her studies.
Thanks again Sue
He doesn't need to do a masters to go into IT or computing related field. The degree is enough.
My job required a STEM or Computer Science degree. That was it. I have been a software developer for 8 years.
Your grandson CAN get a job from his degree, he is choosing not to.
Good luck Sue, and your grandson. He will need it if he hasn't had any job experience before.0 -
He doesn't need to do a masters to go into IT or computing related field. The degree is enough.
I would say it depends on what sort of job he wants to do in IT. As a developer I'd agree with you, and that's exactly what I did (degree in chemistry followed by a job as a trainee programmer - 37 years ago!), but if he wants to work in an academic field or (for instance) go for one of the AI jobs in Silicon Valley that I read about that pay new starts $500K salary then a higher degree probably is necessary.0
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