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Neighbour pulling a fast one?

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  • Freecall
    Freecall Posts: 1,306 Forumite
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    A rough sketch would help so much......
  • bouicca21
    bouicca21 Posts: 6,529 Forumite
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    Changing leases costs money, and presumably they would all have to be changed?

    I don't understand the layout but if neighbour is breaking the terms of the lease then it is a matter for the freeholder to swat him down.

    As it happens my next door neighbour fenced his bit of garden off from the communal one, though without intruding on anyone else's rights. When he put his flat up for sale the blurb made much of the privacy of the garden, so presumably both he and the EA think it enhanced the value of his property.

    If your neighbour gets away with enhancing his property at the expense of yours then you should be asking for some substantial compensation.

    I think you need legal advice and to SHOUT loudly at the freeholder.
  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,835 Forumite
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    Don't be bullied into it, you will regret it the moment you sign anything.....
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • AdrianC
    AdrianC Posts: 42,189 Forumite
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    Tiglet wrote: »
    (Also, the other tenant isn't a leaseholder and so doesn't have the same stake in this as I do, so I do feel a little isolated, although I now he doesn't like what's going on).
    Can you explain what you mean by this, please?

    AIUI, there are three flats.
    GF, 1F, 2F.

    GF is the one trying this on.
    You are one of the other two.
    The third flat... If it's rented, it's not the tenant who gets a say. It's his landlord - who WILL be a leaseholder. Now, it may well be that GF has spoken to the tenant, who doesn't object. That's nice, dear... Irrelevant, but nice.

    If you're feeling like this is a fait accompli, well woop-de-doo. You are 50% of the leaseholders affected by this. If you say no, it is rejected. This is YOUR HOME, your single most valuable asset, which could be devalued by this. You don't want it? Man up, and say no. In writing. To the freeholder. That simple. You don't need to discuss it with anybody else.
  • BornAtTheRightTime
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    I have to ask, why are you so reluctant to tell him you disagree?

    Why do you care whether he spent £1 or £1M? It's his money to burn.

    How is writing a letter saying you do not agree to the change, going out of your way? It will take 2 minutes:
    freeholder's name and address, your name and address, dear xxx, please note I do not and will not agree to any change in the garden boundaries and rights of access. I note that neighbour yyy has installed a fence which denies access and infringes my rights, and request that you resolve this with him ASAP. Kind regards, Tiglet.

    These are easily-surmountable obstacles, so what's stopping you?
    3.9kWp solar PV installed 21 Sept 2011, due S and 42° roof.
    17,011kWh generated as at 30 September 2016 - system has now paid for itself. :beer:
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
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    These are easily-surmountable obstacles, so what's stopping you?

    I think the OP needed to hear what others have said in this thread.

    It's easy for some people to stand against bullying behaviour, but others find it difficult and need reassurance, even when they know they're in the right.

    That's when forums like this can be really valuable.
  • robotrobo
    robotrobo Posts: 921 Forumite
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    Seconded.

    Make it in writing - and keep a copy.

    Ignore the fact that you are being made to feel pressurised by them - its only feelings and feelings aren't "concrete" and measurable. Whereas - you losing the privacy of your garden IS "concrete" and measurable.

    They may well be telling the "neighbour who would have to walk across your garden" a few "terminological inexactitudes" (aka lies) about you not being bothered about that. Make sure this neighbour knows the truth of the matter.




    EDIT; I just bet you are a woman on your own?? I do think neighbours probably "try it on" more on a solo female household imo and they don't stop as you get older either (ie with more "life experience" under your belt - eg having to stand up for yourself more than a man or married woman would have to). I naively thought things would get easier as people could see I'd been single for quite some years by now (ie lots of having to stand up for myself under my belt).....got that one wrong then. They don't - they still try it on.

    Time to get in some more practice at "standing up for yourself" then.

    i was going to say "grow a pair" & then reading this post made me realise that it probably is true & that you are a lady.
    anyway like the post says , you must put your foot down & a firm NO NO NO all the way & do it in writing now!, & you will feel a lot better in yourself , once the other bully party as read it , be brave.;)
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    edited 18 August 2015 at 7:32AM
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    Davesnave wrote: »
    I think the OP needed to hear what others have said in this thread.

    It's easy for some people to stand against bullying behaviour, but others find it difficult and need reassurance, even when they know they're in the right.

    That's when forums like this can be really valuable.

    That's what I rather think this thread is about too - ie confidence-building for OP - who knows very well they are in the right, but having difficulty summoning up the nerve to act on it.

    Can I give you one other thought here OP? The previous owner of my current house let some neighbours here get away with blue murder basically. The neighbours just walked over them and did what they pleased. Because they had got used to doing so, they carried right on even after I moved in. It has taken me quite a bit of doing to "put the neighbours back in their box" and stop them taking liberties and I would sometimes love to get in a time machine and say to Previous Owner "Please stand up for yourself - because, in not doing so, you are leaving several messes on the table for the next owner (ie me) to have to clear up and that's not fair".

    Translate that into thinking "What would next owner of my flat think if I let them bully me around and devalue my flat?". Also translate that into many people wouldn't be prepared to buy your flat in the first place and take on the battle to restore the status quo. I rather think that fewer people were interested in buying my current house precisely because the neighbours were busily "having their own way" at that time.
  • Norman_Castle
    Norman_Castle Posts: 11,871 Forumite
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    edited 18 August 2015 at 8:02AM
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    Tiglet wrote: »
    I have been presented with a fait accompli. The neighbour has spent a lot of money on the work and I am having to go out of my way to object. The choice should not be mine; first he has infringed my rights, now he is trying to make me feel bad about objecting to it.
    They should have asked before spending money. Show the same concern for their opinions as they have shown for yours. If you don't like it. Say no.
    I would rather feel guilty for objecting than permanently resentful of these changes.
    Deal with it through the freeholder.
    The freeholder has seen the decking and told him it needs to be taken out. However, the neighbour spoke to me about it today and tells me that the freeholder said they were happy for the work to go ahead so long as everyone agrees.
    The neighbour is trying to get your support to help him make changes that you don't want.
    Don't feel guilty. The freeholder is saying no to the changes. You are simply agreeing with them.
  • moneyistooshorttomention
    moneyistooshorttomention Posts: 17,940 Forumite
    edited 18 August 2015 at 8:53AM
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    I've learnt that Try On type neighbours tend to work on a fait accompli basis. That is - they do something and then something else and so on without asking permission/soliciting opinions in advance/etc and present it as a fait accompli. They will often be prepared to swear that "black is white" that something is the way they want it to be (even if they are well aware that isn't the case) and just sit back and hope you cant find willpower/evidence/etc that they aren't entitled to do so. I've certainly had bare-faced lies told to my face and been astonished that they had the nerve to do so.

    This is done specifically imo in order to make the person on the "receiving end" (ie yourself in this instance) feel "They must be entitled to do whatever-it-is they have just done". I have come to realise that, in actual fact, they are very deliberately going ahead with whatever-they-want precisely in order to try and make the innocent neighbour feel "They must be entitled to do it - otherwise they wouldn't be acting as if they are entitled" and that innocent neighbour is supposed to feel guilty/frightened/etc of challenging them. That is the whole intention of Try On type neighbours.

    I've stood up to mine and it seems to have gone to a level where they just try deliberately Intimidating Looks at me if they get the chance. Fortunately, I have enough confidence from my background that I just totally ignore Those Looks.
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