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Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner offer to lend me money?
MSE_Sarah
Posts: 328 MSE Staff
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a money moral dilemma of your own? [URL="mailto: mmd@moneysavingexpert.com"]Suggest an MMD[/URL].
I've had a large, unexpected expense that I can't afford to pay. I know my partner has the money, but they haven't offered to lend it to me. I'm a bit annoyed.
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a money moral dilemma of your own? [URL="mailto: mmd@moneysavingexpert.com"]Suggest an MMD[/URL].
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Comments
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Not really enough info, they could be totally justified (you are a risk, don't live together, new relationship, money earmarked for something else, don't want to etc) or you could be justified in your anger (you've lent in past, long relationship, open/shared finance).
Bit pointless without more context.0 -
I wonder how single people cope?0
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Need a lot more info. To many scenarios this time in the MMDForty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....0
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Have you tried asking them?
When i've been in a pickle ive asked my bf if he can lend me the money. Generally he has no problem doing that, but i dont expect him to offer it just like that. Granted he did offer to lend me the money to pay off my overdraft but the sooner that debt is gone the sooner we can move in together so it kind of benefitted him also to get the debt gone.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Since one should always treat money lent to friends or family as a gift, and know that it risks breaking that relationship, the questioner should think very hard about whether the really want to borrow money from their partner.Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 20230
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Don’t lend out money that you don’t expect to get back.
Hence why I don’t lend money out in any circumstances as money is slow to earn but quick to spend.
See if you can rejig your money, put whatever it is you need it for off until you’ve saved for it or forget about it completely.:T:T :beer: :beer::beer::beer: to the lil one
:beer::beer::beer:0 -
Not really enough info, they could be totally justified (you are a risk, don't live together, new relationship, money earmarked for something else, don't want to etc) or you could be justified in your anger (you've lent in past, long relationship, open/shared finance).
Bit pointless without more context.
I agree, my answer would depend on the specifics of the situation.
If they've been together 6 months and the expense is to replace an iPhone with a cracked screen, then that's a bit different to if say, you've been together 10 years and he's crashed your car but won't help you buy a new one!
If the question sender were here, I'd advise them to go to either the Debt Free Wannabe or the Boost Your Income parts of the forum.0 -
It's Christmastime. If you can reasonably easily afford it then give your partner some or all the money to pay the debt. Lending to close friends or family could be a recipe for disaster down the line.
The dividend could be well worth it in my experience. Go for it and have a very merry Christmastime.
Warning: In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
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So you expect them to be a mind reader....0
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The thought of “lending” money to my partner doesn’t compute to me, but I know of friends/colleagues that have lent money to their partners, the relationship ended and they didn’t get it back.0
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