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Is there such a thing as Dadzilla?
Sunny_Saver
Posts: 3,062 Forumite
About a month ago a courier left a neighbour’s parcel with me. I had never even seen the neighbour before, so was, at first reluctant to take it in, as you never know what the parcel could be. However, the courier said it was for a couple who’d just had a baby etc etc.
In the evening the husband came for the parcel. Silly me said ‘congratulations on the birth of your child’. That started it, out came all the photos on the phone, who was staying with them last week, next week, week after, how his baby was cuter than his sister’s, how his baby was going to be loved and adored and everyone’s favourite. The complications with the birth, then how everything was hunky. Where his family lived, how long their travelling time to visit was. He was at my doorstep or 15-20 minutes. He left with a please come over soon invite.
Following week, same courier leaves a parcel for me with him. I went over to get it, got dragged in to see the sleeping baby, he wanted to wake her up, got the who was there that week etc etc. It wasn’t as quick in and quick out as I hoped. I kept edging to the door, he had more to tell me, you get the picture. I left with another come over again invite.
I told a friend about this and he said jokingly that with some courier firms you could request your parcel being left at xxx house and that maybe I should do the reverse - any house but yyy.
The following week, I go to the GP with my mum and am telling her about what my friend said. Who should come out of the surgery before I can get the punchline out... him, his wife and baby. I quickly said hello and said this is my mum and we have an appointment with the GP and we are late. Again he tells us TMI, ie why they are there. I said ok, we are late. He’s still blocking me saying let me take the baby out of the pram for you. I say we are late. He carries on talking. In the end I was abrupt and said we have to go in we are late and dont want to miss our appointment. We escaped with another invite to go and visit.
Then last weekend, I come out of my house and who’s leaning on my wall chatting on the phone. I rushed back inside before he saw me and left after he left.
I get that he’s a proud dad, but I honestly am not interested in him, or his baby or his wife or who is visiting. I only just met them, I dont want to know about wife’s cracked nipples etc. Even if they were life long friends, I wouldn’t want to know about cracked nipples, poo conistency and colour!
I’m going to find it hard to be polite if I get stopped every time we meet, which is likely to happen give he lives across the road! He seems pleasant enough to do a walk and talk hello to, but not the whole life story thing and certainly not everytime.
You hear of Bridezilla, is there such a thing as a Dadzilla or have I just made that term up for this guy?
In the evening the husband came for the parcel. Silly me said ‘congratulations on the birth of your child’. That started it, out came all the photos on the phone, who was staying with them last week, next week, week after, how his baby was cuter than his sister’s, how his baby was going to be loved and adored and everyone’s favourite. The complications with the birth, then how everything was hunky. Where his family lived, how long their travelling time to visit was. He was at my doorstep or 15-20 minutes. He left with a please come over soon invite.
Following week, same courier leaves a parcel for me with him. I went over to get it, got dragged in to see the sleeping baby, he wanted to wake her up, got the who was there that week etc etc. It wasn’t as quick in and quick out as I hoped. I kept edging to the door, he had more to tell me, you get the picture. I left with another come over again invite.
I told a friend about this and he said jokingly that with some courier firms you could request your parcel being left at xxx house and that maybe I should do the reverse - any house but yyy.
The following week, I go to the GP with my mum and am telling her about what my friend said. Who should come out of the surgery before I can get the punchline out... him, his wife and baby. I quickly said hello and said this is my mum and we have an appointment with the GP and we are late. Again he tells us TMI, ie why they are there. I said ok, we are late. He’s still blocking me saying let me take the baby out of the pram for you. I say we are late. He carries on talking. In the end I was abrupt and said we have to go in we are late and dont want to miss our appointment. We escaped with another invite to go and visit.
Then last weekend, I come out of my house and who’s leaning on my wall chatting on the phone. I rushed back inside before he saw me and left after he left.
I get that he’s a proud dad, but I honestly am not interested in him, or his baby or his wife or who is visiting. I only just met them, I dont want to know about wife’s cracked nipples etc. Even if they were life long friends, I wouldn’t want to know about cracked nipples, poo conistency and colour!
I’m going to find it hard to be polite if I get stopped every time we meet, which is likely to happen give he lives across the road! He seems pleasant enough to do a walk and talk hello to, but not the whole life story thing and certainly not everytime.
You hear of Bridezilla, is there such a thing as a Dadzilla or have I just made that term up for this guy?
“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Comments
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I suspect, as many people do when they have a baby, that he isn't interacting with other adults as much. Hence the build up of things to say.0
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You sound like an awful neighbour.0
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It may not last. I have a neighbour who, if she's in the mood, will tell me all I ever needed to know (and lots more besides) about her daughter and her long-term illness and where she's moved to and so on and so on. But other times she looks straight through me as if she's never seen me before or if I say 'and how's your daughter?' I get the feeling that I shouldn't be prying...
Nowt so queer as folk - and neighbour folk are the queerest of all.
Be grateful that they don't play loud music, allow their dog to use your garden, or fix cars in the street. Other than that, be polite but firm. The novelty will wear off (for him).No longer a spouse, or trailing, but MSE won't allow me to change my username...0 -
Sunny_Saver wrote: »You hear of Bridezilla, is there such a thing as a Dadzilla or have I just made that term up for this guy?
Some people are just into over-sharing.
He may have been like this before the baby but he would have told you in detail about his journey to work or taken you minute-by-minute through the football game he'd just watched and so on.
Now the baby is here, that's what's dominating his life.0 -
Oh, hell. That's a tricky one. He could be one of those people that's naturally very chatty, and a combination of pride and lack of adult company has made him a million times worse.
Perhaps you could try raising a hand in a stop gesture, and saying 'too much information' with a smile, or 'I don't wish to be rude, but I'm late for an appointment, expecting a call, think I've left the iron on'. Sometimes people who talk too much, don't hear what the other person is saying, but will pick up on a stop hand gesture.0 -
Some people are just into over-sharing.
He may have been like this before the baby but he would have told you in detail about his journey to work or taken you minute-by-minute through the football game he'd just watched and so on.
Now the baby is here, that's what's dominating his life.
Yeah, this is neighbour zilla, not dad I reckon! I had one of these once, they are usually perfectly pleasant and nice people who mean no harm but just don't seem to realise that conversation is supposed to be a two way thing! I learned how to escape, my OH never did and was often stuck outside the front door for nearly an hour!
You don't need to be rude, he'd probably be really upset if you were as he won't realise he's doing anything you might not appreciate! You just need to break the flow and not wait for a normal gap or an opportunity to leave, just go! Like when you were at the doctors and said you were going to be late, most people would say "Oh we'll let you go then, see you soon!" but these people don't even register that, so you just say you need to go as you'll be late and then actually go, keep smiling, say goodbye, ignore any further talking from them. It does work, you'll pick up the skill!0 -
I couldn't comment on how he was like pre-baby, as I literally only met him a few weeks ago, think the baby was a week old then.
To me it's like having a random stranger on the bus tell you his life story! At least you can get off a bus.
I don't think he's lacked adult conversation as he's had a load of people staying.
BUT yes I need to learn to walk and talk and run away quickly.
If it wasn't happening to me, it would be funny.“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald0 -
Next time you see him apologise for ignoring him but say yiu cant hear withiurnyiur deaf aids and keep forgetting to put them in !0
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He sounds like a very proud dad. Good for him!
Sometimes it's nice to just listen to people who want to talk to someone.Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
Sunny_Saver wrote: »If it wasn't happening to me, it would be funny.
I am glad you said this, because I have to be honest when I read your first post I did chuckle a little bit
Red-Squirrel wrote: »You don't need to be rude, he'd probably be really upset if you were as he won't realise he's doing anything you might not appreciate! You just need to break the flow and not wait for a normal gap or an opportunity to leave, just go! Like when you were at the doctors and said you were going to be late, most people would say "Oh we'll let you go then, see you soon!" but these people don't even register that, so you just say you need to go as you'll be late and then actually go, keep smiling, say goodbye, ignore any further talking from them. It does work, you'll pick up the skill!
I would agree with this and try to be polite but firm, I think some people understand hints and subtlety and some don't.....your neighbour sounds like a don't! BUT decent neighbours are hard to come by, so if you can remain friendly to a point I am sure that would be beneficial.0
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