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Being forced to pay private school fees
burbri1581
Posts: 2 Newbie
My wife has decided to divorce me because my business is no longer doing well and I'm struggling to pay private school fees for our four children. Currently I'm being forced through the courts to pay two thirds of the fees - the courts decreed that we need to pay half each but my wife successfully applied for a bursary which she alone has used to reduce her portion of the fees by around 50%. I don't like the school, there have been indidents of drug abuse and my oldest son is getting bullied. I wish to remove my children to an excellent state school near by. My lawyer is telling me I'm compelled to keep paying the fees against my wishes. I can't believe its right that I'm being forced into this and would appreciate comments from anyone in a similar situation or any advice please.
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Can you afford them? Without going on skid row?It is nice to see the value of your house going up'' Why ?
Unless you are planning to sell up and not live anywhere, I can;t see the advantage.
If you are planning to upsize the new house will cost more.
If you are planning to downsize your new house will cost more than it should
If you are trying to buy your first house its almost impossible.0 -
I would have thought, that since the children will have already gone through the upheaval of their parents getting divorced, that keeping them in their same schools for stability was in their best interests, if at all possible.
Surely you want to do what is in your children's best interests?
4 at private school is going to be painfully expensive though, although presumably you were happy to pay for it when you were still married.0 -
It's worth checking if they could actually get into the State school that you mention. If it is 'excellent' as you say, the chances are that it will be oversubscribed and getting four children into it damn near impossible. You also have to consider the impact on the children - which will depend on factors such as their ages, how long they have been their, whether or not they have always been private educated etc. Uprooting them from one environment to another may not be that simple.
As for whether it is right or wrong to expect you to continue to pay, IMHO it is right. If your wife had made the decision without you and expected you to pay up, it might be different but presumably you decided together to educate your children privately..
Incidences of drug taking and bullying can happen in any school - so if bullying is the main concern, what steps have you and your wife taken (with the school) to deal with it?
ETA - re the bursary. If you were ordered to pay a portion of the fees payable, I would have thought that this would be calculated after any bursary or scholarship has been applied. Can't your lawyer apply for your payments to be reduced accordingly?0 -
Just tell her that if she wants you to pay half the fees, then you both pay 50/50 AFTER the deduction of the bursary. I presume that's the only way you can afford it?
Put it in writing then continue to pay your half after the bursary deduction.
Can she afford to pay the same proportion as you? If not, then perhaps she needs to accept that private school is now out of your budget and an alternative option needs to be found.Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
burbri1581 wrote: »My wife has decided to divorce me because my business is no longer doing well and I'm struggling to pay private school fees for our four children. Currently I'm being forced through the courts to pay two thirds of the fees - the courts decreed that we need to pay half each but my wife successfully applied for a bursary which she alone has used to reduce her portion of the fees by around 50%. I don't like the school, there have been indidents of drug abuse and my oldest son is getting bullied. I wish to remove my children to an excellent state school near by. My lawyer is telling me I'm compelled to keep paying the fees against my wishes. I can't believe its right that I'm being forced into this and would appreciate comments from anyone in a similar situation or any advice please.I would have thought, that since the children will have already gone through the upheaval of their parents getting divorced, that keeping them in their same schools for stability was in their best interests, if at all possible.
Surely you want to do what is in your children's best interests?
4 at private school is going to be painfully expensive though, although presumably you were happy to pay for it when you were still married.
Are you just deciding to guilt the OP?
He is saying he was struggling with the fee's before.
Im sure in an ideal world he would pay but it seems he is struggling0 -
burbri1581 wrote: »My lawyer is telling me I'm compelled to keep paying the fees against my wishes.
My first thought is you need a better solicitor,
Can you turn the business around? If not or not quickly there needs to be some tough conversations around that you simply cannot afford to maintain their current lifestyle.0 -
Just tell her that if she wants you to pay half the fees, then you both pay 50/50 AFTER the deduction of the bursary. I presume that's the only way you can afford it?
Put it in writing then continue to pay your half after the bursary deduction.
Can she afford to pay the same proportion as you? If not, then perhaps she needs to accept that private school is now out of your budget and an alternative option needs to be found.
The OP can't just change it when a court order is in place.
You need to get back to the court and get the bursary counted (unless it's been given on the basis of her income alone and then you need to have the court look at this as she shouldn't be getting payment from someone else alongside a bursary given on her income) and the order varied or stopped on the basis that your income has dropped.0
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