Feeling a bit down

grumpy_grizzly_2

Just a bit of a moan really. I had to leave my joba few weeks ago and since then I've been struggling to get back on track. My job was making me ill and I absolutely don't want to go back to that sector (finance), as I hadn't really been happy in the industry for some time.

Everyone around me took the view that it was a good thing to leave, and that I should enjoy the summer and then work out what to do. But I feel pretty miserable and am struggling to get some direction and work out what I should do next. I've applied for a few jobs but I'm unsure if they're right for me and I can't work out what would be. I'm also really paranoid that a big gap on a CV will look bad.

I'm pretty lonely most of the time and I hate being cooped up at home. We live in a rural area, miles away from family and friends (who're all working anyway) and until this week I didn't have car access, plus I feel that if I'm not working I should be careful about wasting petrol in the current financial climate.

To top it all, other half is off on an overseas business trip in a couple of weeks, and has decided to take a few days holiday at the end and go sightseeing. I'm a bit upset as it means I'll be on my own day and night for 2 weeks. He travels reasonably often but at least when I was working I was only lonely in the evenings.I'd hoped to go out and meet him at the end of his trip for a holiday but the flight prices are prohibitive. He doesn't seem to understand why I'm upset.

I feel I'm drifting along at the moment with no real purpose. How do I get that back and start to feel energised and positive again?

Thanks

Reggie_Rebel

Is there anything in the Village (assuming you live in a village) you can get involved in?

Bowls or cricket teas, church clubs etc, they are usually happy to welcome new helpers, and it could help to give you a new purpose and make you some new friends.

When hubby comes home you can tell him he's tea's in Tesco you have Sandwiches and trifle to make for the third XI

do_it_today!

Hi GG :hello:
why dont you just give yourself a few days off from thinking about what you should be doing next and just focus on doing a few things that would make you feel happy and relaxed. try and arrange to visit friends over the coming weekends, I dont know what your interests are? maybe a film a bit of pampering - go for a walk, read a book, find an exhibition to see.

It sounds like you have just come from a really stressful situation and if you can find away to simply unwind from that and relax then you will be more likely to start thinking about the things you want to do. Give yourself a little time out and this will help you come to a desicion/ideas soon enough. Afterall you left work to stop feeling bad.

Good luck

BlondeHeadOn

Is there any chance you could take off for a 2-week holiday yourself? Visting friends or family, attend a course, find a cheap deal somewhere? If your OH is away then you might as well get some time for yourself somewhere else - no reason to stay in the quiet village all the time.

I think other posters are right and you ned time to re-coup. It sounds like the quiet and lonely village is not the best place to do this though!

Hugs, and take care.
:grouphug:

Meltrix

Hey grumpy grizzly - i'll try and tackle the job side for you. You'll have to forgive me though if i'm being typically male and trying to offer solutions or if you're doing/know all this already!

Firstly, don't be down! You've made a positive step in changing direction and leaving a job/industry that wasn't making you happy. I've been in the exact same position as you and it was the best move i ever made. It's perfectly natural to be a little daunted by the prospect of nothing to go to initially but you can use the time well to figure out what you do want to do. By the sounds of it you are in a fortunate position in that you aren't financially desperate to get work immediately. As someone who recruits i can tell you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a gap on your CV, plenty of people take time out whether it be to start a family, re-evaluate career etc. As long as you state somewhere in a covering letter or on your CV why there's a missing period then that's fine. What does look bad is lots of short stints in jobs (except fixed term contracts) so don't just jump on the first offer that comes if it isn't right because it would look worse if you then leave after a few months.

As for finding out what you do want to do, i can highly recommend using something like a mind map technique to get yourself thinking laterally. Think of what interests you and then look at potential careers that link in to that etc, think of what skills you have and likewise what ties in well with those skills. Flick through the job ads to get some other inspiration. However, don't forget once a job is in print you are then in direct competition for that post. Far better to identify a company/organisation you'd like to work for and write to them off spec, you never know your letter may land on a desk at just the right time. Also ask friends and family if they have any contacts in the areas you are interested in and then get in touch with them (even if it's just for a chat about how to get into that field and what skills you'd need etc, you never know they may then refer you on to contacts of theirs). From a recruiters point of view if a referred candidate is good then this is an extremely good way of getting employees as they save on any advertising/agency fees. Many companies also offer their employees a referral reward so if you know someone who works for a company/organisation you'd like to work for and you join them then everyone's a winner!:T

In terms of feeling like you are achieving something and being energised, the job hunt can be a little daunting and depressing at times, waiting for that phonecall or that letter to come through the door - i know i've been there. However if you can treat your job hunt as a 9-5 occupation it can help to give you a sense of achievement and will also maximise your chances of getting what you want. Mix the day up a bit, a few hours in the morning researching career ideas/organisations/contacts etc, a few hours writing letters (for cold approaches having set letters that you can mailmerge with some customisable fields makes it easier) and a few hours tailoring your CV to different careers. If you're applying directly to advertisements, make sure every key word that features in the ad, features somewhere in your covering letter and CV (as long as it's true of course). Most recruiters will just glance at a covering letter/CV in an initial assessment to see if it should go into the possibles pile or rejection pile so the more tailored you letter/CV is to the person spec the better your chances. Once a letter/application has gone, move straight on to the next and don't sit and wait for the response - keep yourself busy! If you haven't done a job interview for a while then it might take you a few to get into your stride, perhaps see if you can get a friend to give you a mock interview - this should help you think about how you can relate your experience to the requirements of the role etc. and give you some stock answers.

Another good way of using the time is to maybe learn a particular skill that would be required for the role you'd like to do, go on a course etc. Or maybe, if you can afford to do it, do some voluntary work to gain some relevant experience you never know where it might lead...

Phew - i've probably gone on enough but hope some of that helps. Best of luck!:beer:

BallandChain

Excellent post Meltrix. If the OP has left her job what does she put down on her CV the reasons why she left? If she wasn't happy in her last job would a prospective employer take her on because she got fed up?

BenL

Excellent post Meltrix!

Meltrix

BallandChain wrote: »

Excellent post Meltrix. If the OP has left her job what does she put down on her CV the reasons why she left? If she wasn't happy in her last job would a prospective employer take her on because she got fed up?

A 'career break' is probably the most common term used in this situation. Everyone gets fed up in a job at one time or the other - whether that's through lack of progression opportunities, an unchallenging environment, low pay etc - so stating that they've taken time out to re-evaluate should actually be seen as a quite healthy thing to do. Having said that I certainly wouldn't put down the reason for leaving as being 'fed up' though, i'd turn it into a positive such as wanting a new challenge or wanting to progress etc. If the OP decides to go for something completely different then stating that they decided to leave their last role as they wanted to change direction is perfectly acceptable too.