Should I?

notagoodsituation

I am not saying that a DMP or an IVA is a bad thing, but then there are several repercussions that will come with this... hence if I become insolvent I will need to find a new job, I will find it difficult to buy a house and will end up renting for the rest of my life.

To be honest, everyone, lets be open about it, i am just depressed as hell that I work my !!!! off to earn money, considering getting a second job, but not sure i can cope with the tiredness of it and my current role.

I will patch things up with my mum and dad, and i am going to ask them for their advice, i think i will write to them, because there is never going to be a good time to do it.

I don't want them to give me the money, but if they could lend me some that I could pay back at an affordable rate or something like that it will help me out, allow me to save for a hosue, and then get back on my own two feet. Once i have had the houes for a few years i can always re-mortgage and release some equity and pay them some more money back.

I am looking more for moral advice here people, rather than other advice if that makes sense.

Thanks

N

betti911

Congratulations on having your lightbulb moment. I was in a similar position to you debt wise a few years ago. My parents could have paid off my debt but chose not to. It has been the steepest learning curve of my life but I think/hope that I will eventually come out of it a better person.

Instead of asking your parents for money would it be possible to stay with them for a bit hence saving you £400 rent a month? Your car seems to be costing you quite a bit in running costs. I noticed that you valued it at 6k. Is it new? Is there any chance you could sell this and use public transport for a bit? Is there any way you can reduce the interest in your credit card debt? I also make good use of a spending diary so that I can calculate how much I spend each week. I would be honest with your parents but try to handle the situation yourself. Hope this helps. Good luck!

beanielou

My advice is to get the debts under control before you even think about buying a house.

skint_spice

could you sell the car and buy a cheaper one and use that to pay some of the debt off? second job would be tiring but needn't be forever.

whitewing

Personally, I wouldn't write. I would go with your SOA and all your paperwork and see them.

If my son were to do this, then as a parent I like to think that I would support him. However, that does not mean I would necessarily provide the answers he would want (ie I may not lend the money). Also remember that your parents are imperfect humans and may still be smarting from other aspects of your relationship. You haven't elaborated, so to use an example, it wouldn't bother me if my son were a homo, but I may be disappointed that I may not have biological grandchildren. So that may take a while to get used to, for example. (My son is only 11; like most mums I imagine a range of scenarios, lol).

Your debt could be a way of building bridges but it could also be a huge and nasty shock if you don't handle it with care. Go with the idea of getting some shared support but don't be surprised if solutions don't work out as planned...

what kind of moral advice are you after?....

notagoodsituation

Thanks for the response, living with paretns for a while isnt an option, because I am over here in Manchester and they are over in Durham. I can't reduce the interest because my payment history is so !!!!! that I cannot get any more credit etc. They offered me a loan to refinance my overdraft but this would have meant i paid off £6k of the current £2k.

My car is unfortunatley essential for my job, and i travel a lot with my job, hence the costs of fuel etc, although I do get an allowance for this, I don't get the allowance for my journey from home into the office which is 40 miles - with the current fuel prices its being well expensive.

I just had another moment, good thought, as my credit rating is a bit pants, why don't I ask them to take a loan on my behalf, and I will pay them that and then that way im not lending any money at all.

N

betti911

Do you have the money to make the repayments towards such a loan? Would they (your parents) fit the criteria for such a loan? I would sit down and work out exactly how you would work your finances out before you present this situation to them.

Perhaps you could find a second job in the interim? One thing I've noticed in your SOA is that you've only got £40 down for socialising. Is that realistic?

notagoodsituation

at the moment £40 a month is realistic, because I rarely leave the house. Socialising this month has consisted of lunch at the toby carvery once £3.50 and an hour in the local with my neighbour.

The reason I want to get out of this situation so badly is that I want to get back to having a normal life that someone my age does, who earns half of what I do.

My parents would fit the criteria no issues, earn in excess of £100k per year.

jenevieve

Maybe asking them to take a loan out on your behalf is one idea but I think that if you decide to go to them that you have a couple of options on the table so that if they reject your first idea (for whatever reason) then you can show them that you have thought this through thoroughly and are fully prepared to take responsibility.
Showing that you have thought it through completely and worked out a way of how you can do this on your own anyway first - and then asking them if they would consider helping you out and being prepared to put your own plan into action if they refuse.

Good luck with whatever you do - I cannot imagine telling my parents about the mess I am in; I would be terrified it would give them a heart attack!

betti911

Well notagoodsituation you sound determined. I earn a little over what you do a month and I'm prob weekly budget wise the poorest lawyer I know but now I'm so much happier as its finally me taking control over my life and not my debts

But you are right, its short term pain for long term gain. If you are determined enough to get out of this situation then you will do. At the start of my journey there seemed so many hurdles along the way. My debt diary on here has helped. I'll watch out for your progress.