help pls

cprtknight4

Hi, im not sure if I am posting this in the right place.

I was wondering if someone could give me some advise. My husband and I are 25 and 23 respectively and we have two young children. But we want to put into place some guidelines on what we want to happen if for unfortunate circumstances we both pass away.

We would like the children to go to the one set of grandparents but we know that it will cause problems the other side of the family. We do not want them staying with the other set of grandparents or anyone in the family as trouble is always around the corner.

What I was wondering is how can we make this as watertight as possible, so that they will go to the people we want them to go to. I have contacted layers abut a will, but they advised that this can be contested.

Kind regards in advance

t_obermory

I'm sure someone more knowledgeable about this will come along but as far as I'm aware you are unable in British law to name a guardian for your children in case of your death. You can name who you want to look after them in your will and provided its not contested the children will live with them; if the other side of the family do contest this though social services will place the children with who they think is most suitable - your wishes will be taken into account though.

As I said I'm not sure thats all 100% accurate, but I think thats how it stands.

zztopgirl

Hi, im in the same boat so to speak. We have already made a will, but like our lawyer says, once we are dead, we cant control where our dd goes, if nobody on my side of the family can have her, she either goes into care or (more likely) goes to dh's side of the family (and gets abused/turned into an alcoholic or druggie) and nothing we can do to stop it from happening. We have proof that the in-laws are not suitable guardians but at the end of the day, they are still counted as relations. Thats what the lawyer told us. I dont know if she is right or if we just have a bad lawyer.

I have considered rewriting the wills to put down as many options as possible, such as friends and distant family, before the in-laws come into consideration.

Would be grateful too if anyone here can shed any light on what to do.

foreversomeday

Hmm, that's interesting, and worrying as DF & I were planning on making a will when LO gets here to say what will happen to him if anything did happen to us.

cprtknight4

hi, thanks for the quick replies, I thought that was how it stood.

Does anyone know what will happen to the children straight away, if something did happen. As will they not have to chase where people live?

As we live in one county and the chosen grandparents live in a different county. But only 30 miles away.

Thank you

localhero

You can and should appoint guardians for your children in your Will (who may be under 18 when you die).

Otherwise Social Services will decide for you and may choose somebody you wouldn't have chosen.

Yes, other relatives could challenge this arrangement if they feel that your choice is unsuitable, but their likelihood of success would be greatly reduced if your wishes are stated in black and white.

If you feel that a challenge might be made to a Will, then I would advise that you write a separate letter and leave this with your Will (though don't attach it) stating the reasons you've made your choice and conversely why particular guardians haven't been appointed.

If a Court did have to decide on the issue of guardianship then these documents will carry great weight, though ultimately the court would decide on what's in the best interests of your children.

Obviously gain the agreement from your guardian(s) in advance and ensure that your executors know of the whereabouts of your Will.

Hope that helps. It is most important that you do write a Will.

Mojisola

I think, in practice, that if you say in your will who you want your child to live with, that will be respected unless the other side of the family could come up with some very good reasons against your choice.

It can help to each write a letter which is kept with the wills explaining your reasons - you can be fairly blunt in this as there will be no comeback on you! This should undermine any arguments the "unwanted" guardians may have.

Edited to say that localhero beat me to the post!

cprtknight4

Just a quick question, how much does a will cost?

kind regards

localhero

The costs vary.

Straightforward wills for a married/unmarried couple should cost around £120 for both.

There will be plenty of willwriters that charge less than that, but do choose carefully as the law allows anyone to operate as a willwriter - the vast majority will not have passed any exams whatsoever in writing wills.

Check out the Institute of Professional Willwriters at www.ipw.org.uk, for members in your area. Most will visit you in your home for a fixed fee. The IPW have now gained Stage 1 approval from the Office of Fair Trading for their code of conduct.

cprtknight4

Thank you very much for the quick reply, will do that as son as possible.

Kind regards

zztopgirl

Local Hero, just wanted to say thanks for the advice:beer:, will get a letter sorted out to be attached to our wills. The in-laws also live in a different country so im sure social services would not remove dd from her home country and allow her to be raised in a different and strange enviroment without weighing up all other options first, especially as she would be separated from other family members, her half-sister, etc. But want to make sure we have covered every avenue and will get that letter written out asap.