Very depressed

narnia2000

OMG I didn't realise that he has rights, he still has keys to the house, but I pay the mortgage and it is in my name only...where do I stand on all of this? The last thing that I need is him taking me to court!

jeannieblue

narnia2000 wrote: »

OMG I didn't realise that he has rights, he still has keys to the house, but I pay the mortgage and it is in my name only...where do I stand on all of this? The last thing that I need is him taking me to court!

Don't panic for starters....

I'm not sure he does have any rights. Keep calm, keep him away (ie change the locks).

If possible, talk to someone at CAB or it probably may be worth paying out for a half an hour consultation with a solicitor. No idea what it costs these days, but about eight years ago i paid £20 for half an hour.

To be honest, what does he have rights to? As said, don't panic, seek expert advice. He doesn't deserve anything as he sounds like one of life's !!!!!!!!!!s, and nobody has respect for them. He obviously doesn't have any respect for you and i hope that when he does try crawling back, you will not entertain him. Send him packing - best of all, don't answer the door and don't answer his calls. Unless you want him back? Soiled goods?? nah, you're worth more than that my love.

jeannieblue

Good heavens - I didn't swear in above post and it got blanked out!! !!!!!!!!!!? A bad word? What if i split it into two words, free and loader, is that allowed?

Edit: It did it again.. I would like to know why that word is offensive...

Mojisola

Has he contributed in any meaningful way to your joint finances - paid the gas/electrics/council tax?

alison999

Mojisola wrote: »

Has he contributed in any meaningful way to your joint finances - paid the gas/electrics/council tax?

it is VERY VERY hard to prove you paid ANYTHING if its not in your name. I had all this pointed out to me lots of times b/c when we bought our first house I couldn't have my name on deeds b/c i was only 17, my parents were frantic.

I really dont think he can do anything but keep records of when you've tried to contact him so you can prove that you've tried to "do the right thing" (the right thing is to cut off his **** but legally, i wouldnt advise it lol). box up his stuff & give it to a friend to pass on, or leave it in the shed/garage and text him/leave a voice mail & send a letter recorded delivery (if you have a address for him) , tell him its there for when he wants to get it, but if he hasnt got it by **date** then you'll dispose of it. You're not a storage facility, if he doesnt have anywhere to put it he can arrange storage himself. Give him 6 - 8 weeks, that way you're being more than generous. Keep a copy of the letter & postage receipts for proof of postage.

jeannieblue

alison999 wrote: »

it is VERY VERY hard to prove you paid ANYTHING if its not in your name. I had all this pointed out to me lots of times b/c when we bought our first house I couldn't have my name on deeds b/c i was only 17, my parents were frantic.

I really dont think he can do anything but keep records of when you've tried to contact him so you can prove that you've tried to "do the right thing" (the right thing is to cut off his **** but legally, i wouldnt advise it lol). box up his stuff & give it to a friend to pass on, or leave it in the shed/garage and text him/leave a voice mail & send a letter recorded delivery (if you have a address for him) , tell him its there for when he wants to get it, but if he hasnt got it by **date** then you'll dispose of it. You're not a storage facility, if he doesnt have anywhere to put it he can arrange storage himself. Give him 6 - 8 weeks, that way you're being more than generous. Keep a copy of the letter & postage receipts for proof of postage.

Excellent advice. Probably not what you want to hear right now - but it is good solid advice.

It is also a constructive thing for you to do - go on, take charge and act - you will feel alot better for it. I do hope you have some mates around to help you. Then go up the pub for a pint. - Any chance you can leave by the back door - leave the front bolted? So the !!!!! can't get in if you go out?

Sarahsaver

I don't think he has rights, if the house is in your name (on the deeds too i hope?) then he does not have the right to break in, unlike my ex did - i was told by the cops in my case there was nothing they could do if he broke in as ours WAS in joint names on the deeds. since got it changed by the courts.
Change the locks and then if he hassles you get him his first harassment warning - the police were keen in my case and that of a friend, they see it as preventing domestic violence these days. Then if he breaks the terms of the warning he can be up in court

Like I said before one thing at a time, and don't be too kind and considerate with his belongings. Just let him know they will be in a certain place opn a certain day and thats that. use your time for YOU!

narnia2000

I will take the advice and thanks for all of it, I will have to wait until Tuesday though, there is always the possibility that he will calmly turn up tomorrow evening, take his things and go, given that she is due to fly back Monday, that way I can at least I can get an ending. She may well go back to her husband after her fling, sounds like he is willing to forgive.
If he doesn't do that, or she doesn't return then I doubt that I will ever see him again, so Ill sort the locks and box his stuff then.

alison999

narnia2000 wrote: »

I will take the advice and thanks for all of it, I will have to wait until Tuesday though, there is always the possibility that he will calmly turn up tomorrow evening, take his things and go, given that she is due to fly back Monday, that way I can at least I can get an ending. She may well go back to her husband after her fling, sounds like he is willing to forgive.
If he doesn't do that, or she doesn't return then I doubt that I will ever see him again, so Ill sort the locks and box his stuff then.

he might forgive but could you? personally, & i know its easy for me to say b/c its not my relationship but you are worthy of having someone 354.676765,567676 times infinerty better than him!

narnia2000

No I could never forgive him, but I just need an ending.....if he disappears into the ether, then I know from past experience that it will take me much longer to get over, if I can have the calm talk, then it will be easier for me in the long run..........thanks for all your support,