Very depressed

narnia2000

Anyone out there know what works for depression? My partner of over 5 years was e-mailing someone on friends re-united, set up a secret e-mail addy etc. I found out 2 weeks ago, found out that she lived in South Africa, she was married 18 years...felt safe enough, we had arguements, thought that we were sorting things out....she got wind of that, left her husband and flew over, only found out because I e-mailed her to find out the score...and her husband picked up the mail, so we have been in contact ever since, both have been missing now for 8 days, as you can imagine I have been at rock bottom ever since.

KentishLady

I was so sorry to read your message.

Feeling depressed/angry/anxious are probably all typical responses to the situation you find yourself in. However if you are worried about depression you should go and see your GP, if nothing else to reassure you that your reactions are entirley normal.

A few years ago my husband had a mental health crisis and ran away from home - I clearly remember the nightmare that the next 24 hours were until we got him home (I live in Kent and he had managed to fly to Manchester ). The next year was awful - he was in and out of hospital and forever trying to escape from home & hospital. The only comfort I can offer you is that time helps you cope with things - it becomes easier although the hurt doesnt go.

If you are worried about his safety I hope you have reported him missing?

Can't think of anything else - hopefully some other people will have some ideas.

KL

Ems*Honie

Hi,

I would reccomend seing your GP and maybe trying some herbal remedies, I used ST Johns wort and found it was really good for me. Def check with the doc's before you start taking anything though

I wish you the best of luck in moving on from this x

Sarahsaver

Medication will not remove the situation you have found yourself in.

It is an awful thing for you but your reaction is normal and is not the same as the kind of depression people have for no apparent reason.

Have you tried relaxation techniques or do you do anything like running, cycling or yoga where you both have to be focussed but at the same time you can kind of 'loose yourself' in the activity?

As far as practicalities go do not try and push things too much. Maybe set yourself one task a day, report him as missing like has been suggested, then give yourself a break for your mind to recover from this shock.

whatatwit

I'm not surprised that you feel depressed.
You have been lied to and quite possibly cheated on..
Do you and your partner have any joint accounts, please make sure that he cannot take all the money in them and possibly run up overdrafts.
Has he taken his passport?

I agree with Sarahsaver, set one task a day and then it should not seem to be quite as overwhelming.

Mojisola

What a dreadful situation you are in - you wouldn't be normal if you didn't feel depressed.

I don't think the police will be interested in him as a missing person - adults are allowed to leave home if they want to. Take all the steps you can to protect any joint finanaces.

I think a visit to the GP would be a good idea - you are under a lot of strain and she/he might be able to help.

Sazbo

My thoughts are with you. I can only echo what has already been said. You're reaction to what has happened is entirely understandable, and as sarahsaver says, maybe not 'classic depression' as such, but may still be worth having a chat with you GP if you are struggling and need some short term support to help you through what must be a very difficult time.

Take good care,

Sazzy x

alison999

i cant add anything to whats been said only that maybe if you keep posting all your feelings here, or maybe start a blog to get everything out. thismay not help but i was in the opposite situation, i thought id liked someone (not my partner) and started a secret blog to get my thoughts down. it was then that i realized what a complete idiot (thats being polite) he was and how lucky i was to have what i already do. if you write your thoughts down, maybe dont do it online, just buy a load of paper get your thoughts down and maybe it'll help you get all your feelings out.

id def. go to the doctors, you dont have to be physically unwell to see them, they're there for the other stuff too, they may even be able to refer you somewhere for some type of therapy.

good look and take care.

just one other thing; dont blame yourself.

absolutebounder

It is a normal reaction but not one for the doctor who is likely to get rid of you with a chemical that doesnt solve the problem. What has happened cannot be altered. You have to accept the past and move on. If he has gone there is no use brooding over it. You may want to but it is no use. There are plenty of good people in this world. seek them out and make new friends who hopefully treat you better.

Sarahsaver

They WILL class someone as a missing person if you have 'due cause for concern for their wellbeing/safety'

dorry_2

sorry about what's happened (((((hugs)))) I agree with the advice of sarah and others, medication may not be answer, you could end up going to docs who would give u some antidepressant, which won't gid rid of the issue. you could try some herbal tea, like st johns wort, its really good for keeping you calm and totally non addictive. it does interact with the pill and other meds, so check first before buying some. Another great calming tea is valerain, you can buy it the herbal shops, dr, stuart makes it. Hope this helps xxxxxxxxxxxxx