feel like a rubbish mum - sorry need to vent

3KIDSNOMONEY

hi

not sure what i am expecting people to say but really feel as though i need to vent how i feel at the mo.

i suffer with ocd which makes everyday life very hard. my problems are now starting to affect my kids, particulaly the older ones. all i seem to do is moan and shout at them - despite trying desparately to make them happy.

where am i going wrong - i don't want my kids to grow up to be like me i want them to have a positive view of life and be happy. i am dreading the school hols.

i shouted at my 9 year old last night and she wet the bed last night - she has had bladder problems in the past but i feel dreadful about last night.

on another point - does anyone have any advice on how diet can affect mood - i want to improve my diet and it would be good to know if anything could help. thanks

Elle00

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

hi

not sure what i am expecting people to say but really feel as though i need to vent how i feel at the mo.

i suffer with ocd which makes everyday life very hard. my problems are now starting to affect my kids, particulaly the older ones. all i seem to do is moan and shout at them - despite trying desparately to make them happy.

where am i going wrong - i don't want my kids to grow up to be like me i want them to have a positive view of life and be happy. i am dreading the school hols.

i shouted at my 9 year old last night and she wet the bed last night - she has had bladder problems in the past but i feel dreadful about last night.

on another point - does anyone have any advice on how diet can affect mood - i want to improve my diet and it would be good to know if anything could help. thanks

If things are so bad your daughter wet the bed because you shouted at her then maybe you should consider asking an outside agency for some help and support?

It must be very hard to manage with three kids sometimes if your OCD is really bad so I'm sure social services would want to see if they could offer you any help. For example if money is really tight, they might be able to offer you some funding for a summer playscheme place for the kids to help you manage?

Your local health centre should be able to help with diet. Ask for an appointment with the practice nurse or ask if they have a healthy eating clinic or weight loss clinic (they both encourage similar things!).

Do you have a good GP at all? Mine was really supportive when I was having problems coping with my child. I also go to Home Start but they're only really aimed at families with children under 5.

galvanizersbaby

Hello

Sorry to hear your feeling so rubbish at the mo - we all find it hard with kids sometimes - I know my sister is dreading the holidays with her 3 boys too
You can't be sure that your shouting at your daughter caused her to wet the bed - my son wets the bed occasionally (seems to be just before he wakes) but I'd never attributed it to anything much - if you were shouting then I'm assuming you lost control to a certain extent and your ocd will cause you to have an issue with that in itself I would imagine - try not to give yourself such a hard time - you don't sound like a rubbish mum to me!

You don't say if you've seen anybody about the ocd?

On the diet I thnk a healthy varied diet with lots of fruit and veg is supposed to be the norm advice - I believe bananas are supposed to be mood lifting but personally chocolate does it for me!:D

frugallass

you're not a rubbish mum, you're here looking for advice so that shows that you're keen to rectify what's gone wrong......

if you don't mind me asking, how bad does your condition affect your every day life, what I am really trying to ask is what 'obsessions' do you have? Apologies if my terminology isn't right.

Have you been in touch with these guys? This site looks really informative

http://www.ocduk.org/

Is there a support group nearby?

It mentions fish oils in there, so am sure diet will have an effect on your disorder.

Do you have a partner at home? How does your family help out?

RoxieW

Hi there - fellow OCD sufferer here. I try massively hard to hide it from my children but my oldest is now very particular about making sure electric switches in his room are switched off. Unfortunately, I feel that children learn by example and they will pick up certain things from you. All you can do is try your hardest to shield them from it.
If you are getting angry at your children, i'd recommend removing yourself from the situation for 5 mins - sit in the kitchen and have a cuppa - or go to your bedroom for a 5 min lie down. Just remove yourself from the situation and the crossness will pass.
Good luck hon.

Carmina_Piranha_3

hi, i don't have any advice but just wanted to offer a hug. i reckon more people than you realise have days like this, but they just don't talk about it much.

if you were a rubbish mum you wouldn't be asking for advice. sometimes being a parent is REALLY hard. i find it almost impossible around once every 28 days

Marker_2

You are not a bad mum at all. We all get days where the pressue gets to much and we snap at our little ones. I have played single mum many atime and it is hard work, doing all the 'mumsy' tasks, never get a chance to just let your hair down and enjoy time with them.

Is it just you or do you have a partner?

Don't know alot about OCD, but if you have got family around that can help, especially to do the little things like tidy up after the kids go to bed so it helps in some sort of way to relax and chill out then it may be worth asking for a helping hand.

3KIDSNOMONEY

Hi, despite my username i actually now have 4 kids!

I am seeking help for my ocd but it is a long process and i am not sure how much it will be able to help me. unfortunately it is quite bad and beyond 'classic' ocd such as checking and re-checking things. i don't really want to say how bad but i certainly didn't know that all my symptoms are ocd until i was diagnosed. i have a partner who has been supportive but things are pretty bad now and that is why i have sought help. because a lot of my problems involve contact with other people and places it is very difficult for me to receive help. my gp has always been ok but i feel let down that i wasn't offered help when my problems started several years ago - i really feel that i wouldn't be as bad if i had been offered help back then.

Roxiew - children definitely follow by example and that is really what i am worried about - definitely need to remove myself from situations when i get cross with the kids - am going to try that.

i know that this isn't really moneysaving - but my situation is very difficult to talk to people that i know about.

still interested to see if anybody knows about how diet can affect depression and ocd. Thanks

foreversomeday

I have a little bit of advice - I felt like I was nagging my OH all the time and it felt like everything I said to him was bad - I have since discovered a way to help with this.

Basically every time you say something bad (e.g. don't make a mess, stop fighting, don't take that etc) think through in your head if there is a way you can turn the statement around (to, can we tidy up as we go along please, play nicely, leave that there etc) you will eventually start saying these more positive phrases instead of the negative ones - you feel like you are shouting less, and kids/OH feel more inclined to follow directions.

Marker_2

As far as diet goes I will always recommend people stay away from dairy products, including chocolate. People always comment on how fresh and more active they feel when they remove them from their diet. I know alot of depression sufferers have been advised against them so there must be something in that? Try it.

floss2

Take a look at this, it's a pdf leaflet.....
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/media/news-releases/news-releases-2007/21-june-2007/