Help me sort out my life please..

nicnic_3

Hi all I've just joined this board out of pure desperation. I'm 28, still living at home, in a lot of debt, a terrible saver, and compulsive buyer of electonics and clothes. Typical useless individual huh? Probably, I'm worse than typical.

First of all I don't even know how much I owe. I have stuck my head in the sand for a very, very long time. It's mainly debt from my student days where I obtained 4 loans (3 x £1800 SL + 1 x £1200 SL) and also 1 x £1500 (overdraft) + 1 x £500 (visa) to the best of my knowledge. At least 8.5 grand, not including interest.

After leaving Uni I moved in with my folks for a while, and after a few months we all moved to a different area but I did not inform anybody, I admit probably because at that point I thought I could just run away from it. During this time and the proceding years all my debts were passed to credit agencies, and my Student Loan was divided in to TWO debts, and therefore two lots of interest. I suspect there are many CCJ's against me.

After leaving Uni I worked for myself as a web designer for approx 5 years, but that didn't work out so got myself a job in November 2004 where I am now earning £18k a year. It was very hard for me to give up work for myself as it felt like I had wasted the previous 5 years of my life, and had failed. But I realised that was the first step to sorting my life out. I'm also still doing freelancing on top of my job and earn probably another 5k - 8k a year on top 'after tax'.

Nearly a year has gone by and I'm in no better position, still at home and still in debt. Not paid any of it off. I'm unable to obtain credit in any shape or form, I'm even unable to open the most basic of Bank accounts. I've tried many times online and they always turn me down. I have also only just gone on to the electoral role about 2 months ago, so that may have something to do with it. I have been thinking recently about renting a flat or even buying somewhere, but the latter is impossible as I doubt anyone would touch me.

My mother out of the kindness of her heart got me a visa card from her bank, and I have been using it for about a year. To start with it was fine I always paid at the end of the month no problem. But it soon spiralled out of control and I ended up racking up nearly 3 grand. I have knuckled down and paid this off however, the past couple of months I've stayed in and just today I paid off over 2 grand into it, plus 1 grand the previous month, so it is now clear. I also cut up my card... The difference is this is my mum's debt (in her name) and not mine so I knew I had to deal with it.

This probably all sounds like I'm moaning, maybe I am, but only at my own stupidity, I know what I need to do, I just cannot do it!!!! I could really, really do with some guidlines/tips/idea/motivation to help me get my life on track. One of the reasons I spend my money instead of giving it to the creditors is I will freely admit pure greed, it makes me feel good getting a something new and it makes me feel better about myself albeit for not very long. I just can't bring myself to hand over my money when I get it, have always said to myself I'll save up and pay it off in one go, but obviously that has never happened and I suppose I've been kidding myself.

I think to myself I'm 28, I live at home, I don't drive, I'm single, I frequently work 14/16 hours a day and end up looking utterely washed out and when I do make good money I !!!!!! it up the wall or buy a new piece of hifi kit to make me feel like it is all worth it. I'm a total mess. The only thing I look forward to are holidays which I again spend fortunes on.

I know I need a huge kick up the !!!!!! and you will probably all tell me that.

Well thats my anoymous life exposed and I look forward (hestitantly) to hear if anyone can offer me some practical advice to getting to the place I want to be - carefree and normality.

oh_heck

Hi nicnic,first of all welcome to mse and you've made the best move by posting ,there are lots of people on here willing to help you and as long as your willing to help yourself and you are I'm sure you will get lots of useful advice.

Most posters are in bed now but be patient I'm sure posts will appear very soon and they are very friendly so don't be afraid to ask any questions etc


good luck

nicnic_3

Thanks ohheck, quick reply Just going to bed myself now (I'm also an insomniac, never go to bed before 2/3am, and up for work at 8am mon-fri! Only time you got to yourself I find.

Am looking forward to hearing some advice and possibly seeing some heavy boots. Will be having a proper read of this board tomorrow too...

tattooed_lady

Hi nicnic,

Just wanted to offer you some moral support! You've taken a huge step by posting on this board and it must be a relief to 'get it off your chest' as such. I'm sure others will be along to help you soon.

Maybe you could request copies of your credit reports as a start, just to see how bad things actually are, and also post a list of your incomings/outgoings so people can see where your money goes.

All the best

Lucie_2

nicnic
at least you still have the "fruits" of your spending, as it were. Get all that surplus hi-fi equipment & all those clothes you don't wear listed on e-bay or in the loot. That way you can use whatever you make to pay off some more of your debts.
Lots of people get into debt through alcohol & gambling & have literally nothing to show for their habit. You do. Getting rid of it all could be a step towards proving to yourself that you don't need all these gadgets to make you happy.
You're lucky that you still live at home, so you're not going to lose the roof over your head, but you need to get that head out of the sand & deal with the problem (as I think you have now realised) otherwise you're never going to get a place of your own.
Well done for posting & moneysaving is contagious - hang around here long enough & some of it will rub off on you!

Murtle

Well done, no time like the present to get head out of sand and to move on to the next stage of your life!!!

Your debts aren't beyond salvage, but first you need to identify what debt you have. Contact the student loans people

http://www.slc.co.uk/index.html

notify them of your change in address, and see what the situation is with them.

Contact your visa card company and do the same.

Make a note of your overdraft situation.

Then, complete a budget, this involves listing ALL your outgoing and incomings. Martin has one you can complete, it's at the top of this page.

Then once you have done that, paste that detail into this thread. Then we'll all advise you can ignore/disagree/agree with all advice, but it will be provided to help you, but at the end of the day it is up to you to action, we can only provide support through the process! Some days are good, some days are bad....some are hard work!!!

Good luck and look forward to hearing from you soon!

homersimpson_3

yes you do need a good kick up the !!!!!! (your words not mine) and your mother has not arguably helped by getting you another credit card to increase debt. if she didn't know about debts, why have you not told her? how do you think she would feel if baliffs turn up at house if goods repossessed? you're living under her roof. if she did know why encourage you into more debt. i don't understand some of this posting-
1) how is your salary being paid if no bank account?.
2) why are you buying all this stuff- to make you feel better? is your life so empty? do you live at home with parents, go to work for 14 hours and that's it. you're so tired there's nothing else- if so (no shame in it) go and get one- take a hobby- join a camera club, go swimming or salsa dancing etc- the hobby/interest etc would fulfil need, want or gap. you'll make new friends and maybe meet someone which again will change your life.
3) you earn 23k (salary of 18k +5k freelancing)- minimal expenses- you could pay off these debts in no time. there are loads of people who earn considerably alot less than you & manage- you don't know how lucky you are- you also have time on your side - you're only 28.
4) i agree you should contact credit card companies and student counsellor. prepare budget and work out exactly how much income you have coming in and your outgoings. get these goods and sell them on e bay or wherever and use the money to pay off the debt. if you don't trust yourself ask responsible adult to help you (i'm writing this post and i feel as if i am writing to a child- scary!). my main advice would be 'grow up' and 'stop wasting you life before it's too late'.

System

My support goes to you too but i know you are doing the right thing by facing your debts head on. The first thing you would need to do is to write down how much you actually owe and to who. It may shock you as to your debt, but at least you know what your up against.... you see, ignorance is not bliss. As my eldest son found out when his debt caught up with him.

Keep posting, you can get through this.

Thefunkygibbons

To start with, there are two jobs
1. Work out what you owe
2. Work out what you can save

Do you have any correspendence that can help you track old debts?

Start with a credit check from the 3 agencies and see what is on the file

If there are CCJs you should be able to get copies from the court involved

Next, post a budget

List all details of your incomings and your outgoings

we will be able to help spot what you have missed and also what things you can reduce

In addition, get a payment diary and every day, list every penny you spend so after a monbth you will be able to see where the money goes. Next month, you can work on reducing it

southernscouser

nicnic,

If there are only two things I could tell you, firstly, it would be to take responsibilty for your debt. I don't want to sound hypocritical coz I've have loads of debt myslef, but make sure you contact everyone you know you have debts with.

The worst thing would be thinking you have everything under control and another letter arrives on the doormat saying you owe whoever XXXX amount.

Secondly, take a note of all the posts you get. These peeps know what they are talking about as alot of them (if not most) have been in the same position as you and I. And best of all, all the advice is FREE! (very important)

Good luck mate.

nicnic_3

Many thanks for the replies I've tried filling in Martin's debt planner thingy and here's what I have so far:

Income:

Average Income From Employment: £1,160.00
Other Income: £245.00
MONTHLY INCOME TOTAL: £1,405.00

This is gaurenteed every month. Freelance work is much more difficult to calculate as I may have to wait months for payment.

Expenditure:

Rent (to mum) £200.00 PCM
Council Tax: £36.00 PCM
Internet: £18.00 PCM
Mobile phone: £30.00 PCM
Smokes: £100.00 PCM
Meals at work: £25.00 PCM
Taxi's: £173.20 PCM
Buses: £40.00 PCM
Gym: £40.00 PCM
Toiletries: £40.00 PCM
Haircut: £20.00 PCM
Debt repayment: £50.00 PCM (Student Loans)

TOTAL: £772.2 PCM

Xmas: £200.00 PA
Winter Holiday: £1000.00 PA
Summer Holiday: £1000.00 PA
Clothes : £1000.00 PA
Books: £150.00 PA

TOTAL: £3350.00 PCM

These are really hard to determine but I've done my best. I've also tried to cut back, i.e. not going to go out as it usually costs me 80 quid a time. I do have money left over at the end of the month according to this so I must have missed something because I usually never do! I will usually buy something large, which I am going to stop myself doing completely.

I'll try and get a final figure for all outstanding debts asap.

To answer a few questions:
My one and only bank account that my wages are paid into is from when I was a student, it's a basic chequeless account. All attempts to open a current account have been declined.

The reason I buy this crap is I suppose because a) I've never be able to afford it before (although I obviously can't afford it and should be paying my debts off instead), b) one hobby I do have is djing and that was a 2 grand layout for decks, mixer and records etc. I also go to the gym which also costs me 40 a month. and c) it makes me feel like I'm acheiving something by having expensive things around me, which I guess aren't really mine at the end of the day until the debts are cleared. Thinking about the way I buy things, I usually use the credit card and then pay it off over a period of time... Again, I cut mine up yesterday...

I'm paying 30 a month for my mobile phone and also recently got a PayG which I've spent less than a tenner on in 2 months, so next thing is cancelling my contract.

Taxi's are a huge expenditure. I get one to work everyday for me and the old dear, mainly because I'm usually up till 2/3am working or trying to get some time to myself and a taxi let me have an extra hour in bed. From tomorrow I'm gonna be getting buses...

I do feel guilty, especially reading the other posts on here... I do need to grow up, I've never had to stand on my own feet.

Another thing is that I've tried requesting a copy of my credit reports in the past from a couple of websites, but they have not been able to find me, becuase I have not been on the electoral role before I imagine.