Interfering Dad??

stebiz

Since my daughter joined Secondary School this year she met up with a lovely girl and they have been best mates since. When I say Best Mates I mean speaking to each other everyday. Texting every 30 minutes. Going out together. Walking to and from school together. Two weeks ago this all stopped. My daughter has no real idea why but is really cut up about it. She says that the only thing she can think of is when her mate was showing interest in another boy, who is the boyfriend of another friend of hers, she said it ws wrong. She has tried to text, talk to her etc but she is just 'blanked'. I know deep down she is really unhappy.

Is there anything a Dad could discretely do to help? Or is it one of those learning curves she must learn to deal with herself.

Stebiz

ParadiseKidd

stebiz wrote: »

Or is it one of those learning curves she must learn to deal with herself.

Stebiz

Got it in one! Girls tend to argue alot throughout their lives and there is often lots of jealously about boys, disagreements about appropriate behavior, and some growing up faster than others. She'll be stronger if she deals with this on her own, but has her dad to talk to if she needs advice.

I'd be concerned / intervene, however, if there were signs of bullying or ganging up on any side - especially toward your daughter!

Maybe you could talk to her a bit? Start off with something like 'I'm wondering how you're feeling about falling out with ...', or 'you've seemed pretty down over the past few days, is there anything you want to talk about' - its about letting her know you're there and you care - which you obviously are and do from your post!!!

stebiz

ParadiseKidd wrote: »

Got it in one! Girls tend to argue alot throughout their lives and there is often lots of jealously about boys, disagreements about appropriate behavior, and some growing up faster than others. She'll be stronger if she deals with this on her own, but has her dad to talk to if she needs advice.

I'd be concerned / intervene, however, if there were signs of bullying or ganging up on any side - especially toward your daughter!

Maybe you could talk to her a bit? Start off with something like 'I'm wondering how you're feeling about falling out with ...', or 'you've seemed pretty down over the past few days, is there anything you want to talk about' - its about letting her know you're there and you care - which you obviously are and do from your post!!!

Thanks. Yes I think deep down I always felt that was the case.

Appreciate your advice.

Stebiz

moneypooh

My DD has had a friend since pre-school and they are the best of friends AND the worst of enemies. It has been hard to watch sometimes, especially when she gets hurt.
They fall out over school work, boys and even mobile phones. However you do just have to be supportive and let her work things out for herself. Fortunately our DD has talked to us about it so we have been able to give her advice, wipe her tears and get the smiles when things go well. It's all part of growing up.

windswept

Unfortunately, this is girls all over. ( I was a teenage girl in the 80's).
My dd has had the same group of friends since infants' school and the amount of times they have fallen out and will "never speak to each other ever again" is mind boggling.
By the time you have worried yourself sick and tied yourself up in knots over the arguments and tears - they are usually best mates again.
Never, ever get involved, especially concerning other parents, when it comes to teenage arguments - you can and do lose friends and can look like an idiot when things blow over, as they inevitably do.
Obviously it's a whole different ballgame if any kind of bullying is involved - but parents can sometimes think their child is being bullied when it's simply a case of teenage unpleasantness - kids can be vile to one another and they have to learn how to deal with it.
I wouldn't wish a teenage daughter on anyone - from the age of 12-15 they are generally horrible! Mine is now 18 and still has her "moments".