Single parents, income support changes

Maisiepaisie

Sacked from 7 different jobs I take from that, that you are not a good employee?

Usually its because I get flustered if under too much pressure. My last job was at a fast food restaurant and I thought I was doing ok but the manager said I wasn't picking up the job as quickly as he'd hoped. Its a similar story with various office jobs I've had and a bar and waitressing job.

I really don't like being like this and would give anything to feel healthy and well enough to take on a job as well as full time study. I don't think my councillor is much help really as her answer to everything is to just get on and do it, although her suggestion to get out and meet up with likeminded people (my local veggie group) has been helpful. I think I'll go back to the doctors and ask again for antidepressents as things have got worse since I've been worrying about going back to work.

mitchaa

Doctors is the best bet i think.

All the best.

bestpud

Maisiepaisie wrote: »

Usually its because I get flustered if under too much pressure. My last job was at a fast food restaurant and I thought I was doing ok but the manager said I wasn't picking up the job as quickly as he'd hoped. Its a similar story with various office jobs I've had and a bar and waitressing job.

I really don't like being like this and would give anything to feel healthy and well enough to take on a job as well as full time study. I don't think my councillor is much help really as her answer to everything is to just get on and do it, although her suggestion to get out and meet up with likeminded people (my local veggie group) has been helpful. I think I'll go back to the doctors and ask again for antidepressents as things have got worse since I've been worrying about going back to work.

Speaking from experience here, the only times I have found my counsellor 'unhelpful' have been when I've been resistant to change! And that's not because I didn't want it or was too lazy, but simply because it can be very difficult (well terrifying actually! :eek: ) to step out of my comfort zone (even though being in my 'comfort' zone is awful as well!)

Why not tell her you find her suggestions unhelpful, except for the one, and perhaps you can work out what is underlying your fears about work. That will be more productive than her suggesting you get on with it and you going away thinking you will do no such thing, and she doesn't understand you!

I also wonder if you will actually recover quicker if you are away from you house and children a bit more. They are clearly major sources of anxiety for you so being around them all the time is perhaps not best for you? If you could find a small job and start a course, you may benefit from having two lots of new people to talk to, and you being out of your 'stress zone'.

Just my thoughts of course - no right or wrong here!

Oldernotwiser

I'm sorry to hear about your problems but I too think that your way out of them would be through employment and training. That way you'd be more likely to be able to move away from your problematic area.

If other people are also having to deal with your elder son's anti social behaviour it may not be a good thing to keep shielding him from the consequences of his actions. It will also be a good example to your children to see their mother in work and furthering her education. Choose your jobs more carefully in future, common sense should tell you that a fast food place is not the best environment for someone who gets flustered under preasure! Good luck.

Elle00

Wow, okay, well - I can see both sides of this to be honest. But that said, this isn't about judging and attacking people is it? And OP you clearly feel bad enough about things as it is without us lot jumping on you.

So in a nice way, regarding the study issue, you just have to accept that study is a privilege not a right. It's the same for all of us. A lot of people would love to go back into full time education and further their own interests instead of going to work but they can't afford to. Try to think of it like that.

If you have mental health issues then you should try to deal with them seperately from the work issue through your GP. I have long term affective disorder (stress and depression) and just keep finding new ways to live with it to be honest. Why not see your GP and ask them to write you a letter to take to the Job Centre? Ask your GP to list the things you have problems with and the things you're okay with and ask the JC to help you find something that fits in with that?

I've never been fired from a job but I have to admit to flitting around quite a bit in my youth due to stress and depression. I'm an Avon rep at the minute which is about 3 - 4hrs work a week and means I get to work how I want without worrying about bosses or targets or time-keeping (to an extent). I find it really suits my situation from a stress point of view as well as it meaning I don't need to find childcare for my 2yr old (which was sooooo stressful). At some point I'd like to freelance my typing and computer skills but I'll be honest - I'm a bit scared at the minute. Is there something you can think of that would allow you to work from home? You only have to work 16hrs a week to qualify for tax credits you know and that's not hard to achieve when you work from home and deal with all the little things like admin and trips to the post office (thanks to the poster who originally told me that!).

Other than that, there are things you can do that aren't too stressful. Like I used to work part-time in a shop. Okay it was minimum wage and certainly no career option but it was a job, it wasn't stressful and it was easy to do.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know it's been a shock, but try to look for the positives and start to think about ways to deal with this. I really do understand your illness as I suffer from similar (well no, I USED to suffer from similar). But we both know this initial reaction is just shock and that if you get the right help and support to cope with the upheaval (which is the real problem I suspect) then you will find a way to deal with this very soon.

I hope that helps! Best wishes x

Batty_3

Not wishing to be un-sympathtic (as I will face this myself as my youngest is 13 and I'm being made redundant at the end of this month)

BUT

The Chancellor announced this this budget before last, so there has been ample warning (over a year) and by 2010 if your youngest is 7 then YES you have to be seen to be looking for work

(Of course the fact that Childcare costs an absolute fortune, seems to have slipped by the govenment. I used to pay £200 in school holidays and that didn't include meals)

Have you been to the CAB to discuss your options?

Borgie

The Chancellor announced this this budget before last, so there has been ample warning (over a year) and by 2010 if your youngest is 7 then YES you have to be seen to be looking for work

(Of course the fact that Childcare costs an absolute fortune, seems to have slipped by the govenment. I used to pay £200 in school holidays and that didn't include meals)

Have you been to the CAB to discuss your options


I went back to work last year when my youngest was 11. I always said I would when she went to Secondary School.

The childcare isn't too bad cost wise as the childcare element of Tax Credits really helps, it's finding childcare for a now 13 and 14 year old ! There really isn't much available. It's ok leaving them on there own for the odd day but not for weeks on end !

Batty_3

Borgie wrote: »

The Chancellor announced this this budget before last, so there has been ample warning (over a year) and by 2010 if your youngest is 7 then YES you have to be seen to be looking for work

(Of course the fact that Childcare costs an absolute fortune, seems to have slipped by the govenment. I used to pay £200 in school holidays and that didn't include meals)

Have you been to the CAB to discuss your options


I went back to work last year when my youngest was 11. I always said I would when she went to Secondary School.

The childcare isn't too bad cost wise as the childcare element of Tax Credits really helps, it's finding childcare for a now 13 and 14 year old ! There really isn't much available. It's ok leaving them on there own for the odd day but not for weeks on end !

Yes unfortunately the law says you can legally leave them on their own during the day at this age and so Childminders wont take them and Nurserys are relunctant to mix teenagers with primary school children so that's no help

School run clubs charge a fortune because they find 'fun' things to do every day. I had to pay £20 a day per child and then give them a tener a day extra so they could whisk them off to the beach etc...

When I moved however there were a lot of parents who only work 'term-time' and so everyone looked out for the kids whose parents did full time. If my kids couldn't get into School club, they would just stay at home and if they needed anything ask one of the Mums at home for help. It wasn't ideal but places go so quickly and unless you get paid Tax Credits up-front (you dont-you have to submit your avarage last 6 weeks payments) the ones who can pay get the places!

*sigh*

7 weeks is a LONG time to be fretting isn't it? I don't suppose we'll ever see FREE childcare in this country to put our minds at rest each summer!

pipkin71

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

To be honest, 6 months' notice is quite reasonable in your circumstances and as somone has said, if you're already on a course when this is introduced you may well find that you're able to continue with it.

That wont be the case unfortunately Oldernotwiser.

Once the new regulations come into force, studying will not be a reason to stay on benefits.

For single parents whose youngest child is age 12 when the laws come into affect - October this year, but implemented in November to give the changeover time to work, then they have to declare they are looking for work.

What will happen is, those who are affected will change from IS to JSA. They will need to sign on every two weeks, what is not clear right now is if money will be paid fortnightly. The consultation process is still taking place, and, once that ends on the 15th June, the SSAC will place their findings before MPs to vote in parliament.

If jobcentre advisors feel that an LP is not actively seeking work, they can pass the case on to an adjudication officer to determine if that is the case, and, if so, the LP will lose around £60 per week in benefits. Unfortunately, this will also mean HB and CTB will cease.

Pipkin xxxx

pipkin71

Borgie wrote: »

The Chancellor announced this this budget before last, so there has been ample warning (over a year) and by 2010 if your youngest is 7 then YES you have to be seen to be looking for work

As it stands, this is what the Government would like to implement, however, there are various stakeholders - one parent family / gingerbread / poverty action who are campaigning for the age to remain at 12.

These groups are being represented during the consultation with the SSAC, so it is not definite at this stage that the age will drop to 7. It could do though, it just depends on what the SSAC advises once the consultation is complete.

Pipkin xxxx