Debt Dilemma

walwyn_2

I have credit card debts of £34k and also have to make another 56 personal loan repayments @ £296 per month.

I'm in real mess and the situation is compounded by the fact that my wife has no idea I'm in such financial trouble. I'm effectively leading a double-life.

The debts were accrued years ago. I now have a new life and and thus I'm determined not to drag my wife into this. We've only been married for a few months, I just didn't have the courage to tell all for fear of losing her. The debts are mine and I'm the one who wants to pay them back.

I've thought about remortgaging but obviously this option means I would need to confess all to my partner as we have a joint mortgage.

I've no idea where to start - can anyone please offer some sensible advice?

RAS

You would be advised to speak to a debt charity http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan#help

Also post up your Statement of Affairs, so peole can help you work out where savings can be made.

it would also help if you could advise

a) are there any debts to which you have not made payments for many years?
b) have you requested the CCa for any of these debts, assuming they are over a year old?

In the medium term, we would suggest that you need to tell OH, as you are not going to be able to afford the sort of stuff she expects on your salary, and if you are thinking about children at any time, then you need to plan for the financial consequences before she get pregnant.

However, she may find it easier to deal with if you can demonstrate that you have some sort of plan to tackle the debt.

And, please do not consolidate the debt into your mortgage, even if she agrees. have a look at the snowball on www.whatsthecost.com and see what happens when you turn £34K of unsecured flexible debt ito a 25 year mortgage. It will cost you a huge amount over that time.

dottyanne

I know it seems hard but i would speak to your wife, you may think your leading a double life but unless your super-human then the stress will become more obvious to her and may lead to confusion. You are man and wife, a couple. I was in a similar predicament some time ago, although our debts were joint i felt totally resposible for missed payments and clearing them as my OH just left me to it - i broke down one evening and he was great. I still deal with the bills/debs but am more open with him - im not 100% yet as i still dont often 'burden' him if were behind etc but i feel better than i did before we spoke. he was more aware than i thought which i think maybe the case with your wife. whatever you decide - good luck.

poppyg_2

Hi and welcome to DFW

Would it help if you posted up a statement of affairs which lists your incomings and outgoings so people on here can offer some advice on possible savings you could make on your outgoings?

I won't nag you to tell your wife but I think maybe like RAS suggested if you start to take some action to pay off these debts, whether that be via shuffling the debts or perhaps through a debt management plan, it might make you feel more comfortable about telling her about the problem.

I agree about not adding the debts to your mortgage or a secured loan - been there don't that, wish I hadn't, big mistake!!

walwyn_2

Many thanks for the support, it seems inevitable that I'll need to speak to the OH.

I've just been on the CCCS website which on first viewing seems useful. My major concern is that our 2-year fixed mortgage term expires in May next year. If I enter into an agreement with CCCS, does it mean I will struggle to obtain another mortage as I've been making reduced payments to creditors? Obviously, I do not want to lose my home and it clearly states that I'll have a poor credit rating for 6 years.

I can confirm that I have no other debts. In fact, the irony is I always pay mortgage and bills on time!

RAS

Hi

Post up an SOA, so we can see what the full situation is. It is really hard to advise properly without knowing income and other outgoings.

MrsTinks

Post a full SOA and we'll be able to better advise you on what options might be best

bank_of_slate

Hi Wal, Welcome to the board, Have a good chat with CCCS so that when you do tell your wife, you're not just hitting her with a problem, it's more of a 'this is the situation and this is what we can do about it!'

I hid my debt from my husband, approx £36,000 and it was horrible! I hated not being able to tell him, I nearly told him so many times but could never get the words out.
I used to bolt home on a lunchtime when I knew the cc statements would come so he'd never find them. It was a nightmare!
He inevitably found a statement that I'd hidden in my bag when he was looking for something so it all came out in a very messy way. At least if you tell her you have some control over the situation
...Linda xx

walwyn_2

Ok, hopefully this info will help

My net monthly income is approx £2,100.

In addition to my credit card and outstanding personal loan my other essential monthly outgoings are as follows:

MORTGAGE £554
COUNCIL TAX £43
GAS & ELECTRICITY£35
WATER RATES £13
TV LICENCE £14
LANDLINE PHONE £6
MOTOR INSURANCE £15
HOME INSURANCE £9

The above are my 50% share of our joint outgoings, eg our mortgage is £1,108 per month

My other essentials are:

INCOME PROTECTION INSURANCE £15
TRAVEL £150
MOBILE £25
PERSONAL ACCIDENT COVER £5

RAS

Hi

What are your debts?

we need Type (loan or CC), total owed, minimum payment, APR, and for CCs the maximum value. For loans, the number of payments outstanding and whether they can be overpaid without penalty.

bank_of_slate

Hi Wal, Have you checked that you're on the cheapest supplier for gas & electric, home insurance and motor insurance?
Can you re-negotiate your mobile costs?
...Linda xx