advise about divorce

susiesue_2

iam gathering up the courage to call a solicitor to make the first steps about getting divorced.

before i go does anybody know if the fact that the house is now in my name after i bought out ex's half of the equity will count against? iam going to try to claim a portion of his pension, intially i said i wouldn't when he left.

i have had to leave my job as he wouldn't have the kids whilst i was at work-i only worked weekends and it was agreed that this would be his time with them. so things we intially agreed on have already been altered by him. (dont i sound bitter?!)

iam hopfully (got interview tomorrow) going to get another part time job which i think has its own company pension into whicj i can transfer the funds.

CB1979_2

yeah don't forget to try and screw him over for every penny he has and try and get CSA involved to mess him up even more.

susiesue_2

well thanks for your advise CB1979. ill consider it.
we have agreed on how much he pays for the children each month and this hasn't changed in the 2 1/2 years he has been gone. if i did go to the csa he would have to pay more. i dont have a penny off him for myself and buy all the kids clothes pay for their school trips, brownies ect. he has them probably once or twice a month-his choice btw. he did have them every weekend. thanks to him i have had to give up my job and therefore losing every penny i had!
i still haven't asked for any more money from him. i even re-mortaged to buy him out so how is that screwing him?? really soem people have nothing better to do than try and upset people

melancholly

ignore his posts - he's apparently in in one of those moods today where all women are evil man-haters.

i'm not really able to give any advice, but you're obviously putting your kids first and that has to count for a lot. regardless of the financial implications of a divorce, after 2 and a half years of him being away, it sounds like it's time to draw a line under it and have the split finalised.

debjay

If things cant be sorted out amicably (and by the sound of it they cant) it makes more sense to see a solicitor asap. Some offer initial consultation free. You need to sort out what you are entitled to in the way of child support, maintenance etc and a solicitor would be able to help you with all of this. You may be able to claim legal aid if you are not working too.
Hope it all works out for

Debt_Free_Chick

susiesue wrote: »

before i go does anybody know if the fact that the house is now in my name after i bought out ex's half of the equity will count against? iam going to try to claim a portion of his pension, intially i said i wouldn't when he left.

I assume this was a mutual agreement and not a formal settlement of the finances?

The starting point is to split all the assets 50/50. You might find that by taking all the equity in the house you've already had assets to the value of your share of his pension.

You might owe him more - or you might not. You need to go through the process, when your solicitor will advise you on this.

SuzySu

Hi from one SuzySu to another

I'm sorry to hear your news - it's upsetting and trying to sort out money and children makes things even worse. I was in the reverse situation to you. I left my ex 6 years ago. I left the house to him (he worked, I stayed at home with the children) and said I wanted nothing from him but did ask for maintenance for the children. He actually remortgaged the house and paid me 25% - advised by his solicitor I think so I wouldn't come back later and demand a huge portion of the property as it was worth a lot of money.

He still pays maintenance and has increased it a bit each year, but I suppose what I am trying to say is yes, get yourself a solicitor. They will think of things you might not have and will fight your corner. I wish I had done the same years ago.

Good luck.