help with funeral costs

yully

H, i'm after some advice please. My husbands dad died yesterday and he's been told that as he's next of kin he'll have to pay for the funeral. Although we're not on benefits we've only got my hubbies wage as i'm a student and there's no way we can pay for the funeral. My husband wants nothing to do with it, he hasn't spoken to his father for 3 years and prior to that had very little contact with him. His dad wasn't married but does have brothers and sisters. As the eldest child is my hubbie going to have to sort the funeral and are we going to have to find the money to pay for it?

silvercar

The costs should come from the deceased's estate.

There is no assumption that the eldest child has any more obligation to sort things than any other close relative. Clearly someone has to take responsiblity and get things moving but you don't have to shoulder that responsiblity if you don't want to.

In your situation I would remain very quiet and wait for someone else to come forward.

floss2

I'm sorry for your loss.

Do your OH's family know there has been a breakdown in his relationship with his father?

Did your FiL have any savings? Was he in receipt of any pensions? Did he have any life insurance policies? Was he a member of the HSA or another health savings group?

I would suggest that your OH get together with his aunts & uncles & goes through all his fathers papers to find out what his financial situation was.

hardpressed

Just a warning, the person who arranges the funeral is responsible for paying for it, usually out of the estate, so if there isn't any estate you could fine yourself having to pay. In the circumstances let somebody else make the arrangements.

yully

Thanks for your advice, we're keeping out of it and it looks like his sister is going to take charge. we know he's no money at all, he was an alcoholic and when he was found at home had no food and very little belongings. the rest of the family know my hubbie had no contact with him so at present aren't involving him in the arrangments, just hope it stays that way!

Tigsteroonie

Hi yully, hope you don't mind me butting in on your thread (sounds like it's all resolving okay anyhow)

Can anyone tell me without being judgmental about the relationship what would have happened if there weren't any surviving siblings? OH has had no relationship at all with his father for a few years and it will continue that way, but OH is the only next-of-kin, there's nobody else. There would probably be zero estate as we know of a number of large outstanding debts. When his father dies, who would organise the funeral? Can OH be forced to do it?

alwaysonthego_2

as the another poster pointed out the person who arranges the funeral legally has to pay for it

floss2

silvercar wrote: »

The costs should come from the deceased's estate.

There is no assumption that the eldest child has any more obligation to sort things than any other close relative. Clearly someone has to take responsiblity and get things moving but you don't have to shoulder that responsiblity if you don't want to.

In your situation I would remain very quiet and wait for someone else to come forward.

I think Silvercar is correct - my mother's estate paid for her funeral, even though 3 out of her 4 children were in a position to do so. The one who couldn't afford to was the one who organised it & whose name was on the Co-op Funeralcare bill.

arlybarly

Can anyone tell me without being judgmental about the relationship what would have happened if there weren't any surviving siblings? OH has had no relationship at all with his father for a few years and it will continue that way, but OH is the only next-of-kin, there's nobody else. There would probably be zero estate as we know of a number of large outstanding debts. When his father dies, who would organise the funeral? Can OH be forced to do it?


Last year when my natural father died i was the only next of kin the coroner could contact. i flatly refused to pay the funeral bill as i was taken into care at 18 months old and was lucky enough to end up with my foster parents who ARE WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT my mom and dad.

I did have contact throughtout my life with my natural father (im now 40) but when asked about the funeral bill ect i said no way, this man never brought me up and i do not owe him a thing. To cut a very long and boring story short the hospital said that the state would pay as i was unwilling in these most understandable circumstances but as it was we found out that there was some money left in his estate to cover the funeral.

I was really worried that6 id have to pay as i wouldnt have been entitled to anything from the state as i work and so does oh. You cant be forced to pay for the funeral if you havent arranged it. hope this helps. xx

Anastasia

My sister recently lost her husband and is unable to pay for the funeral. The hospital would have arranged and stood the cost of a burial but he wanted a cremation. She is now claiming an allowance through the benefit system towards the costs.

Check with the hospital to see what they can do for you.

Dick_here

floss2 wrote: »

I think Silvercar is correct - my mother's estate paid for her funeral, even though 3 out of her 4 children were in a position to do so. The one who couldn't afford to was the one who organised it & whose name was on the Co-op Funeralcare bill.

Were you one of the three or the other one ?