Divorce - How much longer should it take??

purplesmiler82

My partner is going through a divorce and it does not seem to be progressing vert fast. He moved out of the marital home last February and moved in with his folks and at the same time started the divorce proceedings. At the time the solicitor said that it would only take a few months and not cost that much!!!

To cut a long story short - both he and his wife went to mediation but after 2 visits she refused to go, and she failed to do anything she agreed to at mediaction. from what we can gather from letters recieved we think she is on her fourth solicitor as well!!

The decree nisi came through and she can apply for decri absolute as of 1st June but she is being as awkward as she can be and child and finances have not been sorted yet

Offers have been exchanegd between solicitors but she is dragging her feet. Every time a letter is sent to her it must be a month before we get a reply....... Is there any way of speeding the process up??? Is it possible for us to apply to the court for them to sort it out?? What is the usual process??

Sorry for waffling

loftus

Your partner can instruct his solicitor to start ancilliary relief proceedings but be prepared for your legal bills to mount. If your partners ex refuses to apply for the absolute then after a further amount of time (I think its around 3 months) your partner can apply himself. However a solicitor would normally advise sorting out arrangements for the children and the finances first.

Bobbity123

Your partner can ring the court that gave the Nisi and ask when he can apply for the Absolute without the consent of his partner - think it is a few months.

floss2

No court will grant a decree absolut without confirmation from BOTH solicitors that all finances & anything to do with access & children are all sorted & agreed.

Once the decree absolut is granted then everything is final.

One more point, if she has anything of his that he wants back, he needs to get it before the absolut as after then he is not entitled to anything that is in her possession, even if it is his, and she does not have to return anything.

Wish I had known that bit when I got divorced!!

purplesmiler82

Thanks for telling me that Floss as he has still got stuff in the loft that he will need to get out.

Looks like its going to be a waiting game then - Whoppy!!!!!

Just wish it would sort itself out. Its mainly the finance that needs sorting, its just such a long process of writing between solicitors and then waiting for her response etc

As for childcare everytime something is arranged she unarranges it :
When they did go to mediation it was agreed the child would spend 50% of time with each parent but then she went and planned activities e.g horesriding, dance, theatre, music lessons vertually everynight of the week so of course the kid didnt want to come. So it then went to alternate weekends, but the kid wanted to stay more so it was alternate Tuesdays as well untill recently when mother booked another horseriding in for then so its back to every other weekend unless mother springs other activites on us!!!
Hoping once its been finalised by the court the childcare issue will settle down so we can actually start planning things

Waffling again!!

aimex

you can actually obtain decree absolute without finances being sorted, but it is best to wait until they are sorted - neater! if your partner is not the petitioner then he can apply for decree nisi to be made absolute 3 months after the petitioner could have applied but this will involve a court hearing and a fee (increased costs!!!)

x

floss2

Re the custody/childcare point - I would suggest that your OH asks his solicitor to point out that the mediation process had brought agreement over custody - this is a major point & if this is what he wants & was agreed, then he should be objecting every time the child's mum arranges things to break the agreement. This needs to be sorted before he requests his absolut, and before he finalises any financial settlement - in fact it could be an ideal lever.......

He may need to just turn up to clear the loft of his stuff - I have heard of bitter ex's who on receipt of a letter stating the wish to remove things, have replied "there is nothing, as I have binned it all" (and no, it wasn't me!)

Troubled_Joe

floss2 wrote: »

No court will grant a decree absolut without confirmation from BOTH solicitors that all finances & anything to do with access & children are all sorted & agreed.

Once the decree absolut is granted then everything is final.

One more point, if she has anything of his that he wants back, he needs to get it before the absolut as after then he is not entitled to anything that is in her possession, even if it is his, and she does not have to return anything.

Wish I had known that bit when I got divorced!!

No offence, but this is wholly incorrect. A court will not enquire as to finances upon considering decree absolute. A District Judge does not even see the application for DA unless it is opposed. It is granted as a matter of course provided that 6 weeks and a day have passed since nisi.

Also ancillary relief proceedings can be brought at any time if they have not previously been subject to an order of the court (by consent or otherwise). I recently acted for a client in ancills proceedings 11 years after decree absolute.

floss2

Troubled_Joe wrote: »

No offence, but this is wholly incorrect. A court will not enquire as to finances upon considering decree absolute. A District Judge does not even see the application for DA unless it is opposed. It is granted as a matter of course provided that 6 weeks and a day have passed since nisi.....

Ok, then YOU tell the staff at Runcorn County Court where my divorce was heard, and explain to them why they would not allow my ex husband to apply for his absolut 4 months after the nisi was granted (he divorced me, so he had to apply) until he had paid my settlement cheque to my solicitor & they had confirmation from both sets of solicitors?

Troubled_Joe

Calm down. I was just trying to provide the OP with correct information rather than the misinformation that you gave. The OP may have relied on your post and acted to their detriment.

I wouldn't be able to speak about your matter with the staff at Runcorn County Court without filing a Notice of Acting.

floss2

Maybe this will be more accurate info for the OP regarding children: http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/divorce/children/notsatisfied.htm