Depressed and lost faith.

Neff_2

Where do i start?
Basically ive been doing a dmp for 18 months,
dont get too much hassle anymore, just them asking me
to increase now and then, its going to take me
24 years to pay it off, im 39!!

Im a single working mum, work 9-3 school hours,
Have no family here, friends seem to only appear when they want something.
i live in a council falt with the neighbours from hell,
My job and daughters school is 15 miles away, so fuel is too much.
No jobs here, nothing here, tried to get transfered, but as council say
my needs are being met, which is true, my daughter is 13
and has no mates here, all her mates are 15 miles away, so she just comes
home and goes to her room, i cant afford to taxi her places.

If I put her in school here, got rid of my car, and gave up work,
I would be £30 a week worse off.

I guess what im trying to say is, ive worked all my life, as a single mum, struggled, where has it got me?
Should have had 4 kids, never worked and got a council house.

Ive always prided on working, but im losing faith.
I have NO money for nowt, all my clothes are falling apart,
ive got one toilet roll left, dont get paid till thursday.
I buy food for my daughter and just have sandwiches for myself
cus there isnt enough money to feed us both.
how do I get my faith back, how do i get motivated again.
Someone please reason with me why i should carry on working!!!
its just all pathetic!
Help

4littleone

Just afew questions.

Who is the dmp with? Is it a fee paying company or is it with someone like CCCS?

Why don't you post a SOA on this thread and perhaps we can look at where you could save more, earn more etc.
Can you move and rent privately? What are the council doing about the neighbours?
Can your daughter get a paper round to give her bus fares to visit friends?

I'm sorry you're feeling so low but i bet the lovely people on here can help.

Dithering_Dad

If you have no major assets then have you considered getting yourself declared bankrupt - 24 years worth of debt versus 12 months of working with the Official Receiver and a further 5 years of rebuilding your credit record - no contest as far as I'm concerned.

I'd also look at renting closer to work. You will probably pay more in rent but your car expenses will be much reduced (you may even be able to do without), your daughter will be closer to her school friends and you'll be away from your annoying neighbours.

Hope this helps.
DD

dancingfairy

You've got you daughter who you are teaching the value of hard work to, you've got pride in knowing that you are not taking advantage of the benefits system unfairly. (by the way I have no problem with people taking benefits when they need them). You are obviously doing your best in a difficult situation and hopefully your daughter realises this.
Obviously things need to change if you can't afford to feed yourself properly - no wonder you feel low.
Grab yourself a cuppa and post an SOA and see what ideas people come up with.:grouphug: (It's a group hug in case you were wondering!)
df

marksandsparksgal

Hi Neff, have you looked at the Up Your Income board, and also the Freebies board? There are many things you can do, like clicking certain sites etc, or joining sites that'll pay you for your opinions on stuff. It's not a massive amount, but now and again it's lovely to get a voucher for free through the post, that you can use to top up the essentials of give yourself a treat now and again.

As others have said, pop a SOA up, and the people on here will help you out.

kate705

Hi Neff
I'm not very good at sorting out my own money and don't know what the answers are for you.

I just wanted to say good luck to you and your daughter and to stay on here for help,
Kate xxxx

klane

if you don't know what an SOA is... it's a statement of affairs - there's a link to make one in one of the sticky threads at the top. :hello:

I'm sure we can all help you see some positives and look for ways to improve! Maybe your DMP needs reevaluating if you can barely feed you both... again, who is this with?

Neff_2

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b]

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax 560

Benefits and child maint 572
Total monthly income 1132

Monthly Expense Details


Rent 240
Management charge
Council tax................... 108(includes arrears)
Electricity............... 57 (includes arrears)
Gas............................. 29 (include arrears)
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates................... 34
Telephone (land line)........ 15
Mobile phone...................... 10
TV Licence.............................. 11.61
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 17.99
Groceries etc. .........................100
Clothing................................ 20
Petrol/diesel........................... 200
Road tax................................ 17
Car Insurance........................... 35
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 60
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............20
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance.....................
Contents insurance......................12
Life assurance .........................
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)......10
Haircuts................................10
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 10

CCCS DMP 105
Total monthly expenses.................. 1121

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross).....................
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 500

RAS

Neff

How much is your debt in total, for which you are on the DMP?

I agree with Dithering Dad, you would be advised to talk to NDL or Christians against Poverty about the possibility of going BK. In the end it is up to you.

Can you get full-time work, near home or near the school? When does your daughter leave school? If you stopped driving here there would the LEa pick up the cost of transporting her?

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Hiya sweetie,

Sorry you're feeling poo. Most of us can identify with that hopeless helpless feeling as we've all been there at one time or another.

Just a quickie cos i'm on my way out the door, but like many people, your car is a huge drain on your finances.

What are the private rents like near work and school? If you weren't paying for the car could you afford them?

Or put in for a swap? Is there anything about where you currently live that other people might find desirable?

I also think bankruptcy might be an option for you - although it might hamper your attempts to rent privately for a few years - ask CCCS what they think.

Also please remind yourself that things change. Your daughter is growing up, you may find another job, or get more hours, or a pay rise...or find an extremely rich and generous fella.

Lots could happen in the next few years.

In the meantime, there's a wealth of info about cooking on the cheap on Moneysaving Old Style that means you and your daughter can both eat well, and lots of freebies and stuff that can make life a bit more bearable on the freebies boards.

Plus a whole bunch of new friends - all in the same boat as you - here on DFW which definitely makes it all better for me. (I love ya fellow DFW's! :heartpuls )

A few small things can make all the difference hon.

Love Jacks xxx

Neff_2

Thanks for your replies.
Rent private as a single mum
They dont like single mums!!!
I have tried, min rent here is 500 for 2 bed.
Plus I dont have the 1000 upfront for rent and deposit.

I cant work full time because my daughter is 13.
cant leave her home alone and have no family or friends to help.
Shes had personal problems too, councilling ect
But thats another story.
So cannot leave her alone.

OH debt is 26,000 aprox