Do you eat together?

ramellous1

I found this following article FOOD for thought.

You want your children to be happy, right? I mean, do I really have to ask? And drug and alcohol abuse ravages young lives, right?
So what if I told you that you could help keep them away from these by doing something as simple as sitting with them at dinner a few times each week? It's true and it's probably the best deal you are going to encounter today.
Columbia University in New York studied families who eat dinner together and found that teenagers are twice as likely to try marijuana, start smoking, or alcohol abuse if they eat dinner with their families less than three times per week. (This is why they launched Family Day on the fourth Monday in September back in 2001.)
What is so magical about eating dinner together? Well, to do so properly, you have to turn off the TV and walk away from the magazines, paper, and computer. This way, you can look your children in the eyes. Now, engage in the lives of your family. Give your children your attention and see if they will not give you theirs. You have made a conscious decision to spend time with them. You have chosen them over everything else you could be doing. Your children are aware of this at an early age. They have been chosen by you and they know it.
It is a daily decision that parents must make, and each time you choose to give your children your attention, they feel just a little more special. They know how much they really do mean to you because you have proven it once again.
We usually eat during the news hour and my children know I'm a news junkie. So when I choose them over the news, I earn the right to enter their lives and become part of their decision-making. They know I sacrificed for them and that means a lot. Now, when I mention how important it is to say no to drugs - and yes to faith - I've earned the right to do so.
The kids know they are holding their parents captive, so they can talk about anything they want. We try to keep dinner upbeat and positive, but we also remember that we are their parents and not their friends . So, we might laugh about something that happened that day one minute, then remind them of table manners the next. We have to referee sometimes, when a disagreement breaks out, but the point is, we are together, engaged in each other's lives, and purposefully working together to make our family better.
As children get older, this is going to be more and more difficult, so start when they are young and hang on to dinnertime as long as you can. If you can't do this because of your schedule, find some time each week to give your undivided attention. That's the point. Life is never simple and we have to work with what we're given.
Children that feel connected to their families are not looking for something else to fill that void in their lives. Their esteems are healthier, and their power to say no to peer pressure is stronger. They know that whatever they do, they are going to have to look at their parents or guardians across the dinner table.
The magic of the dinner table is not in the eating of the food, it's the time we spend making eye contact. It's our choosing them and giving them our ears. Make the choice and see if doesn't help them in their own decisions later.

DigitalJedi

Totally agree with this. We purposely did not put a TV in the dining area because of this.

Its in my mind so important that as a family you sit down together and eat. Doesn't have to be 100% of time. I occasionally let the kids veg out in front of the TV as a treat but thats like once every 2 months. All other times we sit at the table.

pukkamum

We always sit down to eat at the table together, i find it is the only time when we can sit and chat without any distractions (t.v toys etc) we generally end up sitting at the table for an hour even when finished chatting about our day etc it is lovely and as our table is in the kitchen i can clear and wash up whilst still being involved. I find it really shocking the amount of people i know who don't even have a dining taqble and if they have don't use it. My friend said to me but how do you watch telly!!!Errrr we don't and we're not dead yet lol Don't get me wrong on the odd occasion we will sit on the couch with a pizza and a film but it is rarely as i find it uncomfortable eating on my knee.

Kazzajr

There is only myself and ds(5) in our household but I make a point of always eating our evening meal together at the table (in kitchen so no distractions) some people think it's strange to sit at the table when there is only the 2 of us but it gives us a chance to talk about our day. The only time we don't do this is on a Saturday night we still eat together but in the living room watching tv this is our 'party night' when we have finger food treats for dinner.

Mrs7ones

We have breakfast and tea at the table together on week days, with a set tea time of 5.30 every day. We have sunday lunch together too. Saturday is the only day we don't all eat at the same time, but still the kids eat at the dining room table with us in attendance!!

ameliarate

I agree, I have always insisted on all meals being eaten at the dining table except for the odd occasion when we are having a takeaway and watching a film. It makes for better table manners as well.
When my dd got a little older there was less conversation (a few grunts here and there), but it was a time when she had my undivided attention and I had hers.

smooser

While I was growing up we always made a point of sitting down together but as me and my sis got into our teens it became less practical and just led to arguments. We eventually descended into eating in front of the tv; somethimes at different times/different meals etc. By this stage had little effect on our behaviour anyway (in my opinion...!) as we were both brought up to have good table manners. We still made sure Sunday Lunch was a table affair though and this made for much more relaxed chat as we weren't always in each other's laps every evening.

vixarooni

were an eat at the table family too. We do dabble with a bit of arm chair eating, but its still all 5 of us eating together, not at random times like ships in the night.

margaretclare

I have never in my life fallen into the habit of eating on a sofa in front of a TV set. For me, the only place to eat is sitting at a table.

How do people cope with the mess - you see TV ads with the whole family eating a pizza in their hands, fizzy drinks etc. Doesn't an awful lot of the food end up on the carpet or the furniture?

FairyElephant_2

I've always thought this was important too, as I was brought up this way - so I always try to do this when we have step-kids with us (when it's just DH & I we are often in front of the TV I'm afraid, but we are so busy that we'd never watch any news or anything if we didn't! - and we always get to talk over our day when we go to bed).
I try even more since we discovered that their birth-mum doesn't bother with this and they often get their own frozen ready-meals and eat on their own.......We worked this out after we noticed that their table-manners were getting appalling!

That's not to say we don't have more relaxed meals with them - often on the Friday when we get them it is quite late, so we have pizza in front of the TV and we catch up on the TV series we record to watch with them (something else tehir mum doesn't do - they watch TV separately in a different room!).

Surfbabe

Our family always eat together - I have breakfast with my DD who is nearly 17 - we eat at the dining room table. DH, DD & I eat at the Dining room Table every evening unless there is a good reason. When DS is home he also eats with us. The whole family appreicaites the time together and consequnetly we have a good relationship with each other. The children know they can take the mickey out of their dad, that we can have a laugh together and most importatnly talk about lots of different things. They have also learnt table manners - which having just returned from holiday, it would seem that an awful lot of children are sadly lacking. (Parents too come to that !!)