Work related drepression - what are my rights?

arealbasketcase

ceejayblu

you just scared me PLEASE do not assume the HR manager is on your side, if she is any good at all at her job she has to be impartial, DO NOT (and yes I know capitals is forum for shouting) go into an interview thinking the HR will back you up, that is not her role at all.

Remember there are always two sides to every argument and the manager you dislike may well be very plausible in front of other managers, heck she might even be in the right, I don't know and NEITHER does your HR.

Please be careful and be prepared, if necessary take in some notes and don't be afraid to use them - I don't mean a speech, just jot down the little things she has done that have built into a big thing.

Now I'm getting biblical and I am supposed to be working, never mind some things are more important.

In the meeting tomorrow try not to be too specific, if she is the type of person you describe she will turn individual incidents around and trivialise them. You need to be able to give the overall impression of how she has made you feel. Think of it as divide and conquer - if she can take each incident and show it in tiny bits she divides up the big picture. Am I making any sense?

If you need to hear more and think I have something to say PM me - I have been on both sides of this fence and I know how truly horrible it is.

Apologies to OP for hijacking but this is important.

ceejayblue

arealbasketcase wrote: »

ceejayblu

you just scared me PLEASE do not assume the HR manager is on your side, if she is any good at all at her job she has to be impartial, DO NOT (and yes I know capitals is forum for shouting) go into an interview thinking the HR will back you up, that is not her role at all.

Remember there are always two sides to every argument and the manager you dislike may well be very plausible in front of other managers, heck she might even be in the right, I don't know and NEITHER does your HR.

Please be careful and be prepared, if necessary take in some notes and don't be afraid to use them - I don't mean a speech, just jot down the little things she has done that have built into a big thing.

Now I'm getting biblical and I am supposed to be working, never mind some things are more important.

In the meeting tomorrow try not to be too specific, if she is the type of person you describe she will turn individual incidents around and trivialise them. You need to be able to give the overall impression of how she has made you feel. Think of it as divide and conquer - if she can take each incident and show it in tiny bits she divides up the big picture. Am I making any sense?

If you need to hear more and think I have something to say PM me - I have been on both sides of this fence and I know how truly horrible it is.

Apologies to OP for hijacking but this is important.

Thank you for this. I will be careful. My OH wants me to give details of events etc but this is a sickness review and I feel if I get into the detail of everything she's done it will turn nasty.

I am feeling quite sick and anxious about it all (they'll be here in 15 mins) but I have to try keep to the point of any of their questions.

I know that at the end of the day the HR Manager has a responsibility to the company but we have a very good relationship and she has been very supportive in the past when things have happened with my boss. I don't think she will totally abandon me but am realistic to know that she may not be able to give me as much support as she would like.

I'll let you know how things go after the meeting.

Thanks again

Chris

therealdessie

Just to chuck in my tuppence, I've been on both sides of this too - and it's horrible for everyone. However, being realistic, in my experience HR do as they're told to do by the company, and will certainly never admit fault unless it's on both sides (in which case don't expect a drastic resolution).

So often in situations like this the only realistic solution is a move to another department, or finding a new job. But once that's done, you'll feel so much better!

ceejayblue

(thought I'd already posted this but might not have clicked submit or put it somewhere else!!!)

Have just had my meeting with my boss and HR Advisor. My OH was with me and everything went quite well. We addressed the problems I'd been having with my boss and although she did try to turn things around I think that HR understand the problems.

I said that I had not felt supported even though she knew that I was suffering with stress and that things that previously would not have bothered me assumed great proportions and added to the stress. I made sure that I also highlighted how we do on most occasions work well as a team and that although we had had our differences in the past we usually managed to overcome them. However, in the past few months when I was not well she did not appear to be concerned at how or what she said affected me.

I said that I had felt continually criticised and she said that there were reasons for that because work was being returned to her to re-do. Having said that she has never actually elaborated on what work was returned! Must ask that next time I speak to her!

My OH brought up the comment she made about me taking holiday when off sick and he said I had said she had said "Oh but you were well enough to go on holiday?" She was adamant that she didn't say that but asked me whether I was unwell while I was away. I said it wasn't so much what she said as the way that she said it that intimated to me that she wasn't happy about me going away.

Anyway, they have said they would like me to come back to work but only when I am well enough and don't want me to get into the position that I become agrophobic or so bad that I don't want to go back at all. Well, I don't really but the job is well paid and has good holiday entitlement etc so I'd be stupid to leave before I've got something equally as good.

I know going back will be difficult, the longer I'm off the harder it gets but I have decided I will go back, if only for a few months and look for something else. I'd rather carry on working for them for awhile and get a few months of normalness in before I apply for something else and have to put down that I've been off work with depression for 8 weeks!

therealdessie

Not sure if it has already been said, but make sure you exercise your right to get every document pertaining to this copied to you - including any statements from the manager. Knowing that you will be seeing everything that is written may well dissaude further naughtiness!!

arealbasketcase

I apologise, again, to the OP for hijacking the thread but...

ceejayblue: I am glad it went ok today, this is the first chance I've had to log in (lunchtime here) and check back. I think going back into work is usually the best answer for most people most of the time, it's too easy to get sucked into the spiral and end up in THAT place where the whole world becomes scary.

I think you should be really proud of yourself, so here is a :T from me.

Off to the coffee shop now, ttfn.