Does it get better again!

Scared_witless

I can't begin to explain how bad I feel at the moment, don't know if the whole thing has just hit home or whether I'm just not handling it as well as I should be.

OH and me went BR 20/2/08, our situation was due to a failed business and we lost a lot more of our money than all of our creditors put together. Initially I was really scared (hence the daft name!) but slowly with the help of the brilliant people on this board I understood the process more and put quite a lot of work into preparing for the BR by sorting our accounts out and tying money up etc so that every penny was accounted for leaving very little for the OR to do other than to check everything and inform our creditors.

This appeared to pay off and the OR was/is so far very understanding and helpful? A relation is currently buying our BI in our house (we are in negative equity) and the hiccups have started but we expected that and know we have to hang on in there and know that it will probably take a long time. (Thanks to Richard and Rog2)

Whats the problem you are probably thinking. Well the future just seems so depressing and bleak, we are both relatavely quite young (in our 40s) and we have been through such a lot so far its really difficult to muster up any energy or enthusiasm for anything. I feel like a complete failure and everyone knows our business, you only have to google our names and the info's there for anyone to see. We havn't had a holiday for years as we invested so much into our dream (the business) and now when we really need one we can't afford one, not even a weekend away, besides, if we did get away I know I would probably just worry about the house situation anyway.

Its only 3 months into the BR, does it get better? Initially I felt really positive and so releived but lately all thats gone and the reality is crap. Our close family are really supportive but no one really fully understands unless you're either going through it or have been through it.

Sorry for moaning, Its taking masses of energy keeping my head held up and trying to remain posititve whilst focussing on the future. Just wondered if anyone else felt worse before they felt better.

SWx

Cinderbrook

Hi,
I am sorry you are feeling bad about all this but in my view if you had the spark and drive to start a business you will have the spark and drive again one day. Going BR does offer an opportunity to change direction or career so maybe you should start getting excited about your next moves. With regard to a holiday why not try house swapping, that must be a cheapish way of doing it. And you know the old saying `a change is as good as a rest`. I am sure there are loads of things you can do so try to file away what has happened. Remember that in this country we have a bad attitude toward business failure but in the States you only fail when you give up. Get a bottle of wine and start planning your future!! Best wishes,
C

maxmycardagain

Does it get better?







No

Richard_S

Hi SW,

I think the truth is that it's a long hard slog until you get to the point where you can honestly say that life is enjoyable again. That the sacrifices you made, and the pain you suffered prior to, during, and after bankruptcy were actually worth it. Until you get to that point I would say life is a roller coaster of emotions.

We're only a couple of months away from the second anniversary of our bankruptcy, and our life is still a long way from where we'd like it to be, but we do enjoy the time we spend together, and with our friends and family, without that nagging burden of debt and financial problems.

I think it's going to take at least another 5 years before we can truthfully say that life is really good again, but little by little, day by day, things do get better. 3 months into your bankruptcy really isn't very long, even though it probably feels more like 3 years. I really shouldn't suggest patience to anybody given that I'm probably one of the most impatient people in the world, but I think that's probably the best I can suggest.

Best regards

Rich

maxmycardagain

I go to bed some nights not bothered if i wake up the next day

Richard_S

maxmycardagain wrote: »

Does it get better?



No

It's certainly improved the quality of your posts and threads Max.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::D

Richard_S

maxmycardagain wrote: »

I go to bed some nights not bothered if i wake up the next day

Have you been watching EastEnders again Max?:rolleyes: It just doesn't improve your outlook on life.:D

maxmycardagain

Ive got a situation at the moment if I get a knockback then the blackhole im looking down will become home.

maxmycardagain

maxmycardagain wrote: »

I go to bed some nights not bothered if i wake up the next day

when I wake up I get distraught that Ive gotta go through it all again
same !!!!!, different day

Scared_witless

Thanks Cinderbrook, initially I did think of BR as a new start and a change of direction but that feeling has just worn off! maybe a bottle of wine will temporarily sort me out though.

Max, we'll just be peed off together!

and Richard, I know its very early days, I suppose I'm just really impatient too, it has helped a bit though having someone put it in perspective.

I think I'm just having a bad day and should probably go to bed and start a fresh tommorrow, its hard work going through such varying emotions!

SWx

Pobby

You have my sympathies. When I had to give up my business it was like loosing a child. All the years of hard work , the investment , it was very painful . Yet good on you, you gave it your best shot and bugga what others think. They wouldn`t have the guts to go it alone. I am many years down the road from that now and it does get better . I really hope things turn the corner for you, they did for me and I wish that you will get that well earned holiday.