Protecting my assets in new relationship

Turquoise

Having divorced a couple of years ago, I've since met a lovely man who I am thinking about now as a permanent partner and considering him moving in with me. The concern is that I have a good job, some savings and my own home which is roughly 50% paid for and he unfortunately has a poorly paid job, debts which he incurred partly as a result of divorce and partly because he is not good with money.

Whilst I don't wish to be negative about the future of this relationship, I have to be realistic. What is the best way of ensuring that I protect my savings, home etc if things were to go pear-shaped at a later date? Is there a process a solicitor can arrange to draw up some legal document, should I class him as a lodger with a rent book? Although I am not contemplating marriage, I understand that co-habitees can now claim split of monies upon relationship split.

I am also concerned that the fact he is now with a debt management company and cannot get credit until he pays his debts off could reflect badly on my own snow white credit rating.

And finally, does him living with me have any effect upon the payments he makes to his ex-wife for their children?

Your advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

count_rostov

Do you have any children yourself, or nieces and nephews? Could you tie up your assets to them? I would worry that if anything happened to them your estate would go to your new partner rather than them.
I have no experience of your situation but when my boyfriend and I bought our house my parents gave us a deposit of almost a quarter of the value of the house and the lawyer drew up an agreement which ringfenced that amount and any profit made on that share in case we split up or i died intestate.
Mayeb speak to a lawyer about it? I think you usually get a free consultation period.

hobo28

As the law stands at the moment, as long as you are not married, the house is not in joint names and he does not contribute towards the bills/mortgage/home improvement then he's not going to be entitled to anything.

You could draw up a co-habiting agreement. If you google it, there are examples of them.

mademoiselle_2

Turquoise, be careful.

It's good to see that you are trying to consider the financial implications of this relationship, I applaud you for that.

But now that you have put it down in black and white: you - good job, own house, assets; him - poor job, debts, wanting to move in with you...

Does it make you see a red flag or two? Or, as Mrs Merton put it: " So, Debbie Magee...what attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

There are a lot of vultures out there, who are very good at hiding their true intentions. Two years out of a divorce is still very much in the 'vulnerable' territory.

If it were me, I would not be considering letting him under my roof. Too much to lose.

Jet

As a 34 year old woman with a house that is 95% paid for, a reasonable job and able to support myself and my child with a bit left over every month, I am quite amazed at how many 40 something men I meet who have nothing but debt. Understandable if there has been a divorce, but quite often they've never been married or even lived with someone.

I even had one guy say that single mothers only went out with him for his money - and yet he had none! :rolleyes:

I too would be keen to protect my interests and have done in the past when my ex partner moved in for a short while.

mkbean

some people are good with money, some people become good with money, and some people will never learn.

I'm not sure a relationship will work long term between people in categories 1 and 2 and people in 3....

teagan1966

i met a realy nice guy like u mb its the same 1 !, he had never been married no kids moved about a bit always paid cash didnt think at the time ! , he moved in we got on well we went on holiday came back he lost his job , i said dont bother signing on il help you it wont be long before u get a job , well 2 years later all he did was sit on my pc and sleep !, he went 2 see his sick stepdad he said !, nearly 12 mths ago he left me with a loan 2 pay off , he even borrowed money from my xmas fund , never gave it back !im a single parent with 3 children , cant get any lower can u realy, so id say be very wary this guy seemed fantastic 2 good 2 b true ! well it was , i dont no where u live but if its glouster and if this guys initails r dt ! mb u should message me back !, but im gettin him back im selling all his things on ebay and iv made 100 quid already !
i would realy think before u do i will always now
hope this helps u

Mips

teagan1966 wrote: »

i met a realy nice guy like u mb its the same 1 !, he had never been married no kids moved about a bit always paid cash didnt think at the time ! , he moved in we got on well we went on holiday came back he lost his job , i said dont bother signing on il help you it wont be long before u get a job , well 2 years later all he did was sit on my pc and sleep !, he went 2 see his sick stepdad he said !, nearly 12 mths ago he left me with a loan 2 pay off , he even borrowed money from my xmas fund , never gave it back !im a single parent with 3 children , cant get any lower can u realy, so id say be very wary this guy seemed fantastic 2 good 2 b true ! well it was , i dont no where u live but if its glouster and if this guys initails r dt ! mb u should message me back !, but im gettin him back im selling all his things on ebay and iv made 100 quid already !
i would realy think before u do i will always now
hope this helps u

The OP's new man has children.. so it can't be the same one!

teagan1966

i no i just reread it lol but it should b a warning anyways , i realy thort this guy was diffrent !

Mips

teagan1966 wrote: »

i no i just reread it lol but it should b a warning anyways , i realy thort this guy was diffrent !

I am sorry to hear of your situation, taking advantage of a Mum with 3 children is absolutely disgusting.

Best move forward now and remember that there are really good men out there and one day you will find one!

teagan1966

sure is, hed even borrowed money of my son , but i paid my son back i was on income support at the time but im workin now , im a firm believer in what goes around comes around !, and im sellin his stuff on ebay and hed cry if he new how much 4 !, he new id been hurt in the past and 2 do it 2 me again its took me 12 mths 2 get over it but im on the rite track now !!!