surviving suicide - what now?

caraboo

Hi

My neice is 23 - just split up from boyfriend and 3 children. not had a happy childhood. she is currently in hospital after a serious attempt at an overdose.

She has come back to family 300 miles from her children for support as she in unable to live financially where she was. the time away from her children and her unhappy childhood - possibly even post natal depression has brought this on.

What do we do to help.

Slap her - hug her.

Any advice - please not sarky comments this is not the time.

Thanks

G-G_4

Oh dear.. that's awful..

Just ask her if she wants to talk about things or to be left alone for a while..

What a shame.. xx

caraboo

she knows im always there for her - she is like a little sis to me

i want her to be able to stand on her own and feel proud for it.

hosp wont let her out without couselling - which is good. she is very strong willed and thought she would discharge herself - but she is not allowed.

i will keep listening and try to come up with suggestions - but she needs self belief and i cant give her that

Paparika

caraboo wrote: »

she knows im always there for her - she is like a little sis to me

i want her to be able to stand on her own and feel proud for it.

hosp wont let her out without couselling - which is good. she is very strong willed and thought she would discharge herself - but she is not allowed.

i will keep listening and try to come up with suggestions - but she needs self belief and i cant give her that

you can point out to her all the wonderful things she has done with her life

caraboo

the kids are the only thing she is proud off.

she left a loving extended family at 15 to travel??

unhappy childhood means mum and dad were together - not together and so on and so on.


she left school - no qualifications but teachers said very intelligent (top 5 in school) like i say very strong willed. dont understand how/why she is allowing this to happen.

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico

i think the way forward is for her to concentrate on a goal (talking from personal experience)

hopefully during counselling she will be able to identify where she goes from here in terms of finding a reason to go on

if she confides in you - you would be able to help her to focus on this reason or reasons and help her through the days to come good and bad

it will be a long difficult road for her and anyone supporting her - but with enough support she will be able to come out the other side

if you want to discuss things further please feel free to pm me

caraboo

i agree she needs a goal - but does the goal need to be short term - or long term.

i think look to the future and make tiny steps to get there. she did this by moving away from her children to get a job - but so far has been unable to.

i feel helpless - now feel she needs to be nearer children but needs for once to concentrate on self.

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico

caraboo

i think a series of small short term goals would be the answer initially

or if she wants the goal to be being nearer the children - try to help her to break it down into very small steps - that way she can see herself moving towards her ultimate goal without trying to run before she can walk

hope that helps

caraboo

i agree with needing to be near children but dont know how this can work - its either their or here. if she goes back she doesnt have family support - every time she leaves kids she will be on a downer.

im at a loss as to what to say - she knows things arent easy for her but thinks it easier for every one else

macchicken

Its a really hard situation.
All you can do is be there to support her, try and make sure there is always someone arround if she needs them.
Encourage her to keep a diary (writing it all down can really help get it all out)
Just let her know she is not alone.

caraboo

i will take diary tomorrow - she is very good at writing thoughts.

was shocked once when i wrote my thoughts back. said it made her cry