pregnant and frightened please help

sylviemylove

got to run, picking up my neighbours kids, but will log on again asap. Thanks for all the advice, much appreciated. I'll be back!

Summer1969

sylviemylove wrote: »

Thanks all for your encouragement. I know I should tell my husband but I feel I have let him down so much. When we wed i was earning decent money, confident and now i feel as though he might feel he's backed a losing horse! I am self employed and work changes so dramatically, if things pick up next year i could in theory be debt free again. I suppose its that hope, that he may never need to know, that has kept me quiet. Stupid, i know

I know its easier said than done, but your husband will want to know. Wouldn't you want to know and help him if it was reversed? You are partners, you both need each other's support. You really don't need the extra stress of keeping things quiet from him.

immoral_angeluk

Congrats on the pregnancy hun.

proudmum_3

Your husband will obviously realise that you aren't earning as much if you're not working on a regular basis and secrets always reveal themselves.
Have a good chat with hubby and then you can hopefully work together to find the best solution for you.
I bet hubby is thrilled with the baby and certainly wouldn't want you putting your self through any unecessary stress. It's true that a problem shared etc..
Good luck in whatever you decide to do but please let us all know how you are getting on.
Take care of yourself and remember that life is more important than money

10past6

pinkrach001 wrote: »

im wondering whether an IVA would be of any use?? but then Im not qualified in any way to advise on that frontxxxxxx

IVA's are only applicable to a very, very small % of people, in this case, imho an IVA IS NOT applicable to you, due to a small amout of debt.

*Large debt to you, but small in terms of an IVA*

pinkrach001

10past6 - thanks, like i said, not qualified, just was first thing i thought of cos of my EH experiences x

DEATH-A-LOT

Just really here to say congrats on the pregnancy.:beer:(Oh maybe not have a beer:rotfl:)


All the people i have met on this board are very friendly and co-operative.
So take one day at a time and don't get stressed!

in2deep_2

Hi, you really should tell the OH it does lift the pressure like you wouldn't believe even if there is a bit of shouting.

JayZed

Sylvie, I agree with the comments upthread about telling your husband. That's the point of marriage/relationships - you can share burdens, tackle problems together and support each other. If you don't tell him then keeping things secret is going to make the stress ten times worse for you.

I also agree with 10past6's comments: in the greater scheme of things this is not a particularly big debt, even if it seems daunting to you.

You mention remortgaging - perhaps you and your husband should look into this option. Your outgoings are going to increase in December, and adding some of the debt to your mortgage will make the immediate future much more manageable. Say you add 10K to your mortgage, would that really make so much of a difference to your monthly payments? That would leave you with 5K debt to pay off in the short term, which should be doable.

jo_b_2

Hi Sylvie. Congrats on the unexpected pregnancy! :T Children can really help to reassess your priorites and put everything else into perspective!

I'd echo what others have said - at this moment in time, you need to be minimising stress. Trying to shoulder the whole burden of this debt alone without involving your husband is going to be really stressful. I'd recommend talking things through with him.

He's not going to feel like 'he's backed a loser' when you're carrying a baby you made together!

Good luck! xx