Help and advice needed - parents in debt

Butti

DVardysShadow is right, although it is embarrassing and humiliating to admit how much debt you are in ultimately it means you are facing up to it. When people provide partners/relatives/friends with money they are simply enabling them to carry on the behaviour and not face their problems.

B

savingmummy

What a lovely kind daughter you are!
So sorry to hear things got worse and look bad right now for your parents.

It must be hard for you knowing this BUT you done so much, and helped all or more then a child of a parent should have too.
Enjoy being good with money and enjoy your lifetime knowing you will never follow suit!

I hope your parents get straight soon and realise how lucky they are to have a rock as a daughter xx

Nottoobadyet

Well Im sure that though your mom now knows she cant be proud of her money handling, she can be proud of her parenting! From here on out your support may only be emotional, but Im sure it will be priceless to them.

metalgal

i think it may be something to do with people of a certain generation.

My father ran his own very successful business but was stupid with money and never had any back up. Along came the recession and he got screwed. He kept getting loans, not paying people, etc and never letting on what was happening at the point that it could have been helped. Now, he is in debt to the tune of £200,000. including personal and business debt. He was very lucky that a friend of his bought the business and retained him as an employee. He and my mother have had all assets seized,(?) and now live in a rented house, and even now my dad is still a secret squirrel with money. My mums heart is breaking keeping a roof over her head and food on the table but she still has no idea what he is getting paid. He gives her half the rent money and 100pw housekeeping. My mum is on incapacity and a small pension and has to make up for everything herself.

Its really hard seeing your parents in such a dire situation. My dad is still fighting with creditors, but has now got to the stage where is standard reply is "join the queue." I have four sisters and, except one which is a different matter, we all try to help out with certain things like i pay for the dog and his expenses, cant afford much else. The one good thing that has happened in the last year is that i had a daughter last august, their first grandchild. Our family has learnt that money really doesn't matter, my parent's always said they were happiest when they had nothing and lived in a council house. If it gets to the point where you parents are, god forbid, declared bankrupt then they still have you who cares about them. My parents learnt that the only people who really matter are the people who are with them now not the hangers on who were friends when the dinners were being bought for, the concert tickets were being paid for, they disappeared very quickly. It was a horrible way to learn this lesson.

My thoughts go out to you and i want you to know that even getting your mum to admit her problems is a massive step. Your support will prove more valuable than any money ever could. If you ever need to vent to someone PM me and ill give you my email. I understand that even though you love them, sometimes you still want to call them stupid bleeps.

Spirit_2

Well done for the support you have given.

You need to look on this as it really is...........today they are no worse off than they were last week .........but it is now out in the open. The openness and discussion will be better for their health in the long run.
There will be tears, but there were tears before, but now you can discuss it and console each other.

In case you are worrying about doomsday scenarios read the bankruptcy section - there are some really inspirational pheonix from the ashes threads - triumphs of spirit over adversity, friendly advice and lessons learned. It may help to picture what the future looks like, once they have grasped the nettle.