coming clean to Partner - now wants me off mortgage.

liz_uk

I posted my woes on here last week.. I finally confessed all to my partner who did not take it so well.

We have been together for 11 years and lived together for 3, we also have a child together.

Our fixed rate mortgage ends soon, and we were looking at other options.. My partner has now told me that he wants me off the mortgage as I am a `liability`, and that he won`t be offered a good rate because of my debts.

I don`t know what to feel about this...

.... should I let him do this?? Or stick to my guns.

OliveOyl_2

I don't know for sure, but I don't think not being on the mortgage is going to get rid of his link with you.

I think my brother got caught the other way, she wasn't on the mortgage, but could prove that she had contributed to his living costs (they ate together, she paid the food bill and the contributed to power bills) so was entitled to a share in the property.....

But is seems a bit of a mean thing to do, is he lashing out because he is angry with you?

nimbo

with the current climate financially everyone is going to get worse rates than have been offered in that past, but to take your name off the mortgauge seems to be more than a bit unfair. and surely if your already linked to your OH with one finincial product then any damage that may happen will already have appened...

you need to decide what you feel happy with, i mean will it just be a bit of time before he comes to terms with this? or is this as accepting as he is going to be???

good luck sweetie.

silvercar

The names on the property deeds need to match the names on the mortgage, so if you take your name off the mortgage you have to take your names off the property. So you would be giving him half the property.

If you are not married to him this could trigger a stamp duty liability (if your half is over 125k). It would limit your rights if you ever split up....

dfw844

Are you managing your debt well? ie. always making the correct payments at the correct time?

If you are, I don't think you are a 'liability'. I know you owe a lot in comparison to your income, but actually, a debt of £10k in a household that owns their own home cannot be big news to a mortgage company.

It depends not so much on how much debt you have, but whether you are having trouble managing it.

Also, taking your name of the mortgage surely has lots of legal implications... I'm sure people will be along talking about that in no time though!

Anyway, good luck with everything, it sounds like you're having a hard time of it at the mo. I hope he comes around soon.

xx

liz_uk

We paid £195k for the property.

The reason I don`t want to be taken off, is to ensure my own financial wellbeing if the worst came to the worst and we ever seperated.. i`d have nothing... As selfish as it may sound, I have our child to think about too.

Also, when it comes to fowm filling, what would I be.. I wouldn`t be a homeowner, or a lodger.... I just hate the thought of having to explain that.

bagpuss_fan

Am I missing something here? If it was my DH he would be saying, once the fixed rate ends, we're looking into remortgage anyway, so we'll pay off the debts!

I know someone who's DH was really bad with money, she conned him into signing over the house to her (I can't trust you with money, sign the house over to prove you're comitted, and we'll give it another go etc). Once he'd done it, she kicked him out! Hey presto, the house (and the equity in it) it all hers!! I'm not suggesting you OH wants to do this, but just a warning - people do strange things when money's involved.

As he obviously hasn't suggested paying off the debts at the same time, why don't you? Even if it means a solicitors agreement to say IF anything happened and you split, he would be due £10,000 more than you from the proceeds of the sale. You would be back on track, and all would be well.

Bargin_Betty79

Hi Liz,
Sorry to hear your partner didn't take it well, mine didn't either!
We were actually advised by a Financial Advisor not to put me on the mortgage as my credit history was so bad and my partner did manage to get a mortgage with a decent monthly repayment himself. We have a co-habitation contract in place which states that I pay a half share of the mortgage and household bills and would be entitled to the same if we did split up, its not the most romantic way of doing things but we thought it was best to have some type of agreement in place.
It probably doesnt really answer your question but I wanted to let you know there are others in this situation and there's ways round it.
xx

liz_uk

dfw844 wrote: »

Are you managing your debt well? ie. always making the correct payments at the correct time?

xx

I have never missed any payments !!

So yes it is well managed.. x

I can see he is worried incase I do fall behind on payments, putting the house at risk... but I know thats not going to happen..

liz_uk

Bagpuss fan - he was screwed over by his ex - who left him and took half of his last house. So now when it comes to money, he is a nightmare !!

bagpuss_fan

OH I see, behind every mans problems is an EX !

Why not suggest what I said? Do you have enough equity? (half of it is yours after all). Surely with a solicitors agreement, he'd be happy with that. If you haven't missed any payments, I don't think it would count against you.