Im a Young single Mum and really need debt advice please!

x-tinkerbell-x

Hi

Im 19 years old and I have a daughter who will be 3 soon. I live on my own in a private rented house. Im on income support and not getitn any support off my daughters father (making a claim through csa at the moment) Im am really sturggling to keep up with payments, Im in debt with catalog, which has been reffered to a debt agency and I pay them £5 per week, I can cope fine with that one, they have been the most understanding about my situation.Swalec on the other hand have put me on a payment plan, which I was keeping up to date with, but when unexpected payments take priority one week and I cannot pay Swalec, I still pay them but not the agreed amount, this still isn't good enough for them and they have cancelled he payment plan and said to go back on it I need to pay £450, which I dont even get in one month. they said they are going to get a warrent to put in a prepayment meter which is not suitable for me.
Im also in debt with my water and my phone bill, I just cannot afford to pay all these debts anymore. It makes me feel so sick, I cant even afford to get my daughter anything fancy for her birthday which is one things that really gets to me.
I was in Hospital at the beggining of this year after having a breakdown and suffereing from Anorexia, Im worried that the stress off all this is going to send me over the edge again and Ill end up back in hospital, its really getting me that down, i feel like im in a hole I cannot get out of!
Iv heard somewhere that because Im a loan parent, i can get help with my Gas payments through the winter, obviously its not winter anymore but can i get repayments for the winter just gone?

Any advice would be really helpful, Im stuggling so much!

Thanks

Sally

Dill

Hi

If you post this on the Debt Free Wanabee board, people there might be better able to help.

Good Luck

starbump

x-tinkerbell-x wrote: »

It makes me feel so sick, I cant even afford to get my daughter anything fancy for her birthday which is one things that really gets to me.

In a few years time, your daughter won't remember any of these "lean" years so please don't feel down that you're not buying her loads of toys, clothes, etc. Think back to when you were that age and you'll realise you can barely remember a thing. (Frankly, for me, nearly everything below primary/junior school age is hazy - kindergarten age memories are all but non-existent.)

Sorry cannot advise on your debt issues but wish you better fortune in the future. ((hugs))

squashy

Hope you can get some advice about your debts. The Citizens Advice Beauraux (CAB) are great or so I believe.

Just to let you know, one of the things I admire most about my mum was that she brought us up on next to nothing without us ever feeling like we had missed out. My friends may have gone to blackpool for a day trip, but we went to the park with jam sandwiches and rolled down the hill and made daisy chains together. Or we would take our buckets and spades and go and play in the long jump sandpit in the school playing fields nearby. Mum would take me to the market to choose which material I wanted for her to make me a dress, the excitement I had seeing the pattern all pinned out and knowing it would be something beautiful (to me!) when it was finished. I didn't have many sweets but looked forward to friday when we were allowed a 10p mix up, or if it was hot an ice cream from the van! My birthday presents were well thumbed books and games bought second hand, or barbie dolls that my auntie had grown too old for. One year I got a bike (second hand) and I felt like i had won the lottery! I am 30 now nad have little ones myself and I make it my motto to let them have nice memories every day.

I am not suggesting you rushout and invest in a sewing machine. Just demonstrating that your daughter will love you no matter what, even if she can't have everything now it will be a distant memory for her before you know it. As long as you have love to give her she will thrive.

Lots of luck x

alwaysonthego_2

Hi, I work at the CAB and would urge you book an appointment, make sure you have all your paperwork.

With regarding your debt, do you have any priority debt i.e. rent, utility bills arrears. These are the most important and if you are not behind on them please make sure you prioritise them over the catalogue etc. I would carry on making payments to the gas company and consult the cab asap who will negotiate with them on your behalf.

The other debts the cab will help you fill out a monthly expenditure form, but you would have to include all your debts even if your up to date with them. What ever you have left over in a month, we would work out pro rata a payment offer for the creditors. Don't worry, it can be sorted!

With some of your utility bills there is a charity that may be able to give you a grant, but you will need to ask the cab because where you live it can differ.

anewman

Catalogues, while making things easier to buy by paying on a weekly basis, are generally evil IMO. Prices high to start with, and they have stupid rates which significantly increase that already expensive price. Generally better to save up the money you would be spending each week and wait if you can or do without.

If you select the right thing your daughter could be just as happy with something costing £5 as with something costing £50 - and there's no need to feel bad about it. There's no competition on who can give their kids the best or most expensive present (while it may seem like it). At least she's only barely three and won't be telling you about all the kids who at school who are getting a Nintendo Wii or whatever latest expensive console for christmas (which surely knowing what they're getting goes against the spirit of christmas). When I was younger all the other kids seemed to get expensive things whereas being in a single parent family I didn't, and it's not affected me.

You say you're in a private rented house but do not say you are claiming housing benefit?

margaretclare

I would agree about catalogues. They are the easiest forms of credit (debt) available to many people, they are 'convenient', but many of us have found that they are a slippery slope into debt.

Budgeting is the key thing to learn, and it will stand you in good stead for a lifetime. Martin has a Budget Planner on this site. The CAB, already recommended, uses the terms 'priority' and 'non-priority' spending. Priority means the roof over your head i.e. rent or mortgage, council tax, electricity, gas, water and food. Anything else i.e. catalogues, credit cards, unsecured loans, is non-priority. Priority is obviously the most important because these things, if not paid, have the most serious consequences.

I grew up desperately poor but in a loving home, and I've done all right in life. Your little girl needs the security of knowing that you love her and that you spend time with her, that's of far greater value than buying her 'things'. Go along to the public library - free! - and get her some books. Read to her and sing to her. Having that done for me way way back has been of the greatest and longest-lasting benefit to me.

Best wishes

G-G_4

I hope you get things sorted out, I really feel for you x

Best of luck x

ailuro2

Your DD will never know that the toy she got for he 3rd birthday came from the local charity shop, or was a hand-me down from a friend. Making a home-made card for her will save another few pounds. No,I know, it doesn't feel the same as buying a big toy and lots of new clothes for her, and on TV it seems like everyone gives their kids loads! But at the end of the day living within your means and not ending up paying more because you have a prepayment meter or higher interest debt is where you want to be!

Try to be moneysaving in everything you do -
Ask around your friends to see if you can swap clothes instead of buying new ones - this works for adults just as well as kids.
Arrange playdates to get out and meet other people, and try to make contacts who can help you. Websites like https://www.entitledto.org will help you find out if you could claim something extra.

Take a look at the moneysaving old style board, which will teach you how to cook for a fraction of the cost - Yes, I know you have a 3 year old to look after, but she could help to find ingredients etc. Cooking in batches and freezing saves money on electricity too, not just on the cost of food compared to buying convenience food.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=33

Sit down and add up all your monthly outgoings, down to every last penny, haircuts,presents,dentist, bus fares, newspapers, anything else, and work out where the money goes.

Good Luck!

Savvy_Sue

You're getting all the right responses here, but even so ...

MOVING THREADS FOR BETTER RESPONSES

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to the Debt Free Wannabe board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

x-tinkerbell-x

Thank you so much for all your replys, iv found out when the debt clinic is at the CAB by me and luckily my daughter is in nursery that day (i get free nursery for her.) So Im going to sort everything out. Another thing I should be thankful for is my mum passes down my little sisters clothes for my daughter, most of them have only been worn once, so Im lucky there! Like some of you said she wont remember she had 'hand me downs' and I do love her so much!