I'm scared!

Merlot

Another thing you could try is to phone up your mortgage company (I am making assumptions here, I don't know if you have one) but ask for a payment holiday for a wee while, failing that change to interest only for a short period of time.

Another thing is: is half the house his? If so, get legal advice as soon as possible, some solicitors offer 1/2 hour free consultations.

tiptoes

Hi DM,

((((Hugs)))) to you. I know it's scary right know but what ever happens you will not be letting your kids down. I spilt from my OH 6mth ago know, kids and I moved into rented accomodation as could not take over the mortgage an thing have been a bit tight finacially with only one wage, especially as i had to buy furniture etc.

Think everyone else has covered everything. Definately chck entitled to but remember this is only an estimate.

I found that writting down all my out going really help me focus on where I could make saving. For the first month I wrote down everything I spent in a little book. I know how weird I must have looked to my friend if we where in a cafe and i was scribbling down the price of my coffee or bus fare but you'd be suprise how little spends add up.

Try putting money a side each month to cover bthdays, clothes, etc

morwenna

Hi DM and huge hugs - I was in the same situation, but with three children. Everyone has covered most things, Tax Credits, Council Tax single person discount etc..I would add that if you have anything in joint names, like bank accounts etc, you should close them and get your own account. Also, thjere will be a period where you don't have the money to pay things. Don't panic about this, ring them up and tell them the situation. Every one of my "regular" bills understood and helped me to work out a way to make lower payments until I got back on track. Please get legal advice if the house is jointly owned and look hard at what you are paying out - I saved a lot by cancelling unecessary insurances etc, surprising what we had doubled up on. Good luck and keep us informed how you are coping.

Rowan9

((((hugs)))) - thinking of you. You have had lots of great replies here with tips. I know that people on here will be so supportive. It is hard when you are on your own with kids but just take one day at a time - don't make scary thoughts by projecting into days and weeks ahead and thinking 'what if...'. One day at a time is fine. If that is too much, then break it down into mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend who was going through the same thing. You will come out the other end a stronger person. Sometimes the only way through is through, as the saying goes. Keep going little trooper!!
w

amerthyst

Hi i can totally relate to your situation been there still there but very happy... After the shock of them going you go through a lot of emotions from anger/ rage/ fear.... then bug..r them So far you have received top advice but here's a bit more When your shopping take with you a pen and paper and jot down how much the 'value' /'own brand' are Then go to places like aldi/netto/lidl and jot down how much they are charging... I use to get embarrassed by going in writing down the price of each item and leaving...lol got pulled once they thought i was spying so i showed my list ( I have one list that i take with me that has the FULL price of the major stores) and explained that i'm on my break and as a single parent on a low income with kids i need to see if it's worth my while to shop here !!! ) which is TRUE and not against the law secondly all my fruit/veg i get from aldi/netto/lidl as they are always competing so you get more for less. Now here's the hardest part talk to staff at the meat counter etc of the bigger stores and find out roughly when they reduce their fresh/cooked meat the same goes for bread etc :j Now clothing for the biggest blessing you have in your life 'your children'.... Big stores go to ALL of them asda/tesco do not forget woolies adams next to mention a few and buy clothes for your children you buy the summer clothes in the autum for next year...for the winter coats buy in spring & in the summer the winter clothes So you dont miss the boat talk to the staff every time you see them even if it's hi your friendly face will be remembered and they will be happy to tell you if stuff is being reduced... this has helped in buying toys/ household items including clothes/shoes for myself Now the hair dresser search find the cheapest... i have for a trendy cut/ some colour streaks £20 my hair dresser has elderly women there every day so that's a big sign the only down side is it's so busy you have to wait but to look fab on the cheap it's not that bad waiting as for books and toys charity shops
Plus the money you save from changing your suppliers or talking to them you will have money in your pocket try not to go on the pre pay suppy(card meter etc where you go to a paypoint etc) as you pay more for less gas/electricity so it's false economy in my book
And finally before you get eye strain:rotfl: Remember if you only have tinned beans/soup in your cupboard you and your children won't starve
It took me a while to adapt and now we're great by doing the above i am happy and content and my life is full as i know that me and my children wont struggle WHY well i WISE shop and so will you
Good luck and remember if a relationship fails it's because it was'nt right for YOU and your Children
try and be an angel why you ask ANGELS FLY because they take everything lightly

bank_of_slate

Hi dm and a big welcome!
Please come along to the debt free wannabee board, you'll get loads of advice, support an friends over there!
...Linda xx

kippers

Just wanted to say hi and welcome. You have been given loads of advice and your head must be spinning. Read everything slowly and digest. Take one day at a time.

Bank_of_slate asked you to go along to the debt free wannabee board...i agree. People post a list of all their outgoings and people will will tell you how to reduce them even more than you thought possible.

We can help you here with cost cutting old style ways.

Anyway, a great big hug to you and your children.

Steve-o

Something that a lot of people don't consider for clothes and such: 'charity' shops.

I helped take in the stock of a local Samaritans charity shop some time last year, as I was passing while the shop's ladies were closing for the day. I got chatting to them, and started to browse the shirt rail out of politeness. I was amazed to find a load of name-brand shirts in perfect condition, and I ended up walking out with 7 of them for £7!

The shop always has kids toys, DVDs, videos, etc, as well as a huge variety of clothes. They tend to have regulars who donate whatever they no longer use, and regulars who shop there because they know they can get some good quality stuff at bargain prices. My own personal snobbery about charity shops has gone out of the window, and I'll happily pop into the shop looking for bargains.

Oh yeah, and if you need to offload at any time, you can always CALL the Samaritans as well as popping into their shops! They're open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (the phone lines, not the shops).

Maz

Steve-o wrote: »

Something that a lot of people don't consider for clothes and such: 'charity' shops.

I helped take in the stock of a local Samaritans charity shop some time last year, as I was passing while the shop's ladies were closing for the day. I got chatting to them, and started to browse the shirt rail out of politeness. I was amazed to find a load of name-brand shirts in perfect condition, and I ended up walking out with 7 of them for £7!

The shop always has kids toys, DVDs, videos, etc, as well as a huge variety of clothes. They tend to have regulars who donate whatever they no longer use, and regulars who shop there because they know they can get some good quality stuff at bargain prices. My own personal snobbery about charity shops has gone out of the window, and I'll happily pop into the shop looking for bargains.

Oh yeah, and if you need to offload at any time, you can always CALL the Samaritans as well as popping into their shops! They're open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (the phone lines, not the shops).

Agree totally! Yesterday, I picked up three brand new cotton summer tops (2 are Dorothy Perkins, one Cherokee) and a beautiful, chocolate brown linen top from Noa Noa, all for the princely sum of £8! I reckon the Noa Noa top would have cost at least 40 quid new. Loads of bargains! Plus, they always have loads of children's clothes, good brands, Next etc, with hardly any wear in them. Kids tend to outgrow rather than wear out clothes, maybe with the exception of boys trousers :rolleyes: so, there's usually a good choice. Both of my girls were dressed from charity shops and jumble sales until they were about 5, these places were a god send to an extremely skint young Mum!

marmitegirl

hi just wanted to say keep going ,was in same situation last year amazing how time flies ! Def check out tax credits and working tax credits through this we now get free prescriptions and nhs dentist even for me, which has been big help this month.Keep track of spending and try to reduce each week where you can use the old style tips on here they are many and varied.Take all the help you can from others especially help with kids give yourself time on your own to work things out . You can do this and when you start to get your head round things and take on responsibilities and have success even with little things you will get such a sense of achievement and your confidence will grow. You will stop feeling so bad i realised i hadn't cried for several weeks ,today which is huge when you are where you are right now. Sorry am starting to waffle but want you to know you can get through this and while this isn't the life i might have chosen for myself and my girls its not so bad. Let us know how you get on X
MG