Loan from ex-inlaws - help!

Uber

Hi everyone,

To cut a long story short...

Just over a year ago GF's parents decide to lend her a chunk of money so we can buy our first house. I say I don't want to buy a house, and that I can't afford monthly payments to them aswell as the extra mortgage we would need. Inlaws give us £6000 extra to pay off debt that I had, therefore clearing my outgoings enabling me to comfortably pay for the house. We got the money, paid off my £6k debt, got our own £50k mortgage and put that with the money from her parents and bought a house.

Fast forward a year - we've split up and i've moved out, leaving her and everything behind. Her parents are now hounding me to repay the £6000 and being quite forceful about it (trying to get my parents to pay it etc.)

Now i'm not asking for any moral advice here! If I had the money I would give it to them purely on the principle that I would never have to see or hear from them again, but I don't have the money, so am asking if anyone could offer any advice on where I stand?

When we first split up her parents tried getting me to sign something that acknowledged the fact that I owed this money to them. I did sign it but it was not witnessed and does not actually state "YES I OWE YOU THIS MONEY" - so as much as they wish they had something like that, they don't.

At the time the money was given to me there was no agreement verbally made or put onto paper. Their solicitors were aware of the deal but nothing legally binding, it wasn't even mentioned in conversation. I know it would have been difficult for us to have a "If you break up..." conversation at the time, but fact of the matter is I was never told "THIS IS A LOAN".

My heart tells me I should pay it back, but the bank balance tells me I can't. I don't have any means to borrow it (believe me i've tried!), and I have told the inlaws that but they are insisting that something is paid, even if it's just £200 a month in the short term. I have read however that as soon as a person begins to pay something back they acknowledge the whole debt, which i'm not ready to do yet!

I feel that as my ex now has the house, all the furniture and contents (even the dog!), I should have some leeway on the actual amount I should pay back. The inlaws don't agree however. I have told them that I feel the house has appreciated in value even in the short space of a year, but again they disagree. I was recently made aware of a house a few doors down that had just sold for £10k more than what we paid for ours, so i'm sure the value has increased.

At the moment I have had my name taken off the joint mortgage and have ceased paying it, but still have my name on the title deeds. I have just received a letter from their solicitor with the forms to legally sign over the house to my ex - haven't signed it yet though as i'm not clear whether it would make my situation worse.

So all in all i'm a bit stuck! Was thinking of going to a solciitor with the whole story but was hoping someone here could advise a little too?

Thanks for reading.

*MF*

Hi ... this sounds picky, but isn't meant to be, ok.

The only bit of extra info that I think you could have shared relates to whether you and ex GF both shared the cost of the mortgage, and other purchases for the house until you split up - equally or on what basis roughly.

Reason for saying that is that it is part of the equation imho.

Beyond that, i agree with your judgement that you should definitely see a solicitor, I just don't like the thought of you being the only one in this without any legal advice - not least 1) on the papers you are being asked to sign and 2) no matter what is finally agreed that you have some assurance that it is legally watertight and that is in everyone's interest i think..

None of this said to make a judgement on what is or isn't fair let alone practical - just my thoughts on reading your post.

MABLE

Uber wrote: »

Hi everyone,

To cut a long story short...

Just over a year ago GF's parents decide to lend her a chunk of money so we can buy our first house. I say I don't want to buy a house, and that I can't afford monthly payments to them aswell as the extra mortgage we would need. Inlaws give us £6000 extra to pay off debt that I had, therefore clearing my outgoings enabling me to comfortably pay for the house. We got the money, paid off my £6k debt, got our own £50k mortgage and put that with the money from her parents and bought a house.

Fast forward a year - we've split up and i've moved out, leaving her and everything behind. Her parents are now hounding me to repay the £6000 and being quite forceful about it (trying to get my parents to pay it etc.)

Now i'm not asking for any moral advice here! If I had the money I would give it to them purely on the principle that I would never have to see or hear from them again, but I don't have the money, so am asking if anyone could offer any advice on where I stand?

When we first split up her parents tried getting me to sign something that acknowledged the fact that I owed this money to them. I did sign it but it was not witnessed and does not actually state "YES I OWE YOU THIS MONEY" - so as much as they wish they had something like that, they don't.

At the time the money was given to me there was no agreement verbally made or put onto paper. Their solicitors were aware of the deal but nothing legally binding, it wasn't even mentioned in conversation. I know it would have been difficult for us to have a "If you break up..." conversation at the time, but fact of the matter is I was never told "THIS IS A LOAN".

My heart tells me I should pay it back, but the bank balance tells me I can't. I don't have any means to borrow it (believe me i've tried!), and I have told the inlaws that but they are insisting that something is paid, even if it's just £200 a month in the short term. I have read however that as soon as a person begins to pay something back they acknowledge the whole debt, which i'm not ready to do yet!

I feel that as my ex now has the house, all the furniture and contents (even the dog!), I should have some leeway on the actual amount I should pay back. The inlaws don't agree however. I have told them that I feel the house has appreciated in value even in the short space of a year, but again they disagree. I was recently made aware of a house a few doors down that had just sold for £10k more than what we paid for ours, so i'm sure the value has increased.

At the moment I have had my name taken off the joint mortgage and have ceased paying it, but still have my name on the title deeds. I have just received a letter from their solicitor with the forms to legally sign over the house to my ex - haven't signed it yet though as i'm not clear whether it would make my situation worse.

So all in all i'm a bit stuck! Was thinking of going to a solciitor with the whole story but was hoping someone here could advise a little too?

Thanks for reading.

Do not sign anything over and make sure you seek legal advise. A good place to go is the CAB. Obviously inlaws have an axe to grind because it was their daughter you left.

I stress again do not sign the house over until you have spoken to someone like the CAB.

Best of luck

ifonlyitwaseasier

get her to buy you out and then pay them the 6grand out of that.

certainly don't sign it over to her without getting something for your share

Uber

Thank you both.

Myself and my GF both split everything down the line, half the mortgage, half the bills, even all the furniture we bought was paid for together 50/50.

I have had letters from their solicitor but so far it has only been regarding the transfer of title deeds. The solicitor himself has stated that I should seek my own legal advice, so as you have both said I think this is something I should now make a priority, as I don't want to do anything that a) I perhaps didn't legally have to and b) make it all even worse.

I can't quite remember off the top of my head how it was worded, but when I received the deeds last week the solicitor stated that they had to be returned by the end of May for some reason?! Something to do with the mortgage - I will have to read it again! Needless to say I don't have long to hold off signing them, so hopefully a solicitor can advise,

Will get on the phone to the CAB too.

Thanks again :beer:

penniless96

I'm sorry but this may just sound harsh but you borrowed the money,if you wanted it or not and paid your debts off with it therefore you should pay it back, i think you are being slightly immoral for even thinking you would not pay it back. Imagine how you would feel if it were your parents who had done this.

I am sorry if i sound harsh but i would hate that to be me who had worked hard, lent some hard earned money to help someone out then never got it back.

After all if you had the debts still you would have to pay that back!!

brownbabygirl

ifonlyitwaseasier wrote: »

get her to buy you out and then pay them the 6grand out of that.

certainly don't sign it over to her without getting something for your share

I wholeheartedly agree!

beingjdc

They effectively forced you to go into debt, and to gamble on the housing market against your will, so I say good luck to you in not giving them a penny! Certainly I don't think you should feel morally obligated to them.